I Love Shoes

 

I really love shoes.  I’ve had this fascination with them since childhood.  Earlier this fall I decided that I wanted to get rid of all of my shoes and get new ones.  I can’t afford to buy all new shoes so I just god rid of some of them and gave them to the disabled veterans store.  Despite being underemployed, paying off student loan debt, in need of a new car I’ve bought four new pairs so far.  It’s a sickness I tell you.  At least I’m more stylish than crack addicts and most alcoholics.  I also have a pair of Michael Kors rain boots in the trunk of my car.

The way I see it, I’m not buying no damn house.  I could save my money but I don’t make enough to make it amount to anything quick enough.  If I scrimped and saved I could probably have a few extra thousand saved up by the end of the year.   But one good car repair could eat that up.  To hell with it.  Buy the shoes.  My hope is that I will eventually make significantly more money.  Because the whole saving thing doesn’t really work that well for me.  I’m unsure of how realistic this is in a country where people think a $15 wage is an exorbitant wage.

I honestly try to save and I think it’s important.  I’ve been successful at saving in the past.  But even then every time I got a good $6,000 in the bank I took an awesome vacation somewhere.  And there’s only so much a single woman can do with a $13 per hour job and $34,000 in student loan debt.  I’m forty years old and I’m kind of at a point in my life when I think I should say to hell with it buy the shoes.  My life is half over.  I think the world is slowly coming to an end.  Why not?

Every time I feel like I’m gaining ground financially something stupid happens.  My car dies and I need to pay for a new battery  It dies again and  now I need to pay for a tow truck.  An insurance claim is denied and I have to pay for a dental appointment.  To hell with it buy the shoes.  And call up a friend and go out for cocktails.  But that’s just me.  I’m no Suze Orman.

 

flats

booties

The Trouble with Modern Dating

One of the many problems that I’ve found with dating in this age is that people forget to try and make a simple connection.  I believe that romance can not happen until there is a basis of friendship between two people.  That’s not to say that I believe that a man and a woman should be friends only first.  I believe that romance and friendship can blossom simultaneously.

People ask way too many personal questions at the very beginning of a courtship.  It is a complete invasion of privacy.  They always ask the same few questions.

  1. How long was your longest relationship?
  2. When was the last time you were in a relationship?
  3. What went wrong in that relationship?
  4. What kind of guys do you like?
  5. What are you looking for?
  6. Do you have any kids?
  7. Do you want kids?

Geez of Pete.  The interrogation makes me feel like I’m on a job interview or in a pageant or something.  I really don’t even know how to answer the questions.  Well actually, I know the answer to the question but I don’t want to entrust you with the answer because I don’t know you.  You are still a stranger.

I am a friendly person but I do not open up and reveal a lot about myself to people easily.  These guys may genuinely be trying to get to know me but I feel like they are prying.  When did dating become such an invasion of personal space.

I really wish people would just try and find something to talk about.  Find common ground.  If people are going to hit you with a barrage of questions I wish the questions were more like this:

  • Have you read any good books lately?
  • Have you seen any good movies lately?
  • Do you watch any TV shows?
  • Do you know any good places to go out in this town?
  • Do you like sports?  What’s your favorite team?
  • Where did you grow up?
  • Do you have brothers and sisters?

I wish people would focus more on simply getting to know a person as opposed to all the relationship nonsense.  Just because you have a first or second date with a person it does not mean that you and that person will end up in any sort of relationship.  People need to learn to enjoy a person and understand that no one owes anyone anything.  If you can’t simply enjoy a person’s conversation or company at the beginning of a relationship you may be paddling upstream.