Grown Woman Sex Appeal

I am a forty two year old woman that will turn forty three in February of 2018.  People usually think I’m younger than what I am.  Sometimes people are a full decade or more off when they guess my age.  For the most part I have taken pride in this.  But lately it has begun to grate my nerves when I hear a person say that a woman looks great for her age.  What’s wrong with looking your age?  What exactly is a certain age supposed to look like?

As I have gotten older I have learned to appreciate what I call “grown woman sexy”.  Grown woman sexy is hard to explain or pin point.  But all I can say is that women don’t even start to have it until they are at least thirty two.  Grown woman sexy is physical beauty mixed with poise and sophistication.  Not many people have that in their twenties.

It’s a little perverse to me the way the world obsesses over youthful beauty.   There is a lot to be said about wide eyed, energetic, youthful beauty.  It is indeed lovely and I admire watching it on America’s Next Top Model, beauty pageants and in pro sports.  But if you are fifty and still trying to attract a beautiful twenty year old lover, any twenty year old lover, you’re a bit peculiar.  What’s wrong with other fifty year old people?  Why didn’t you snag your young dream lover when you were young and cute yourself?

I’m mostly posing these questions to men because women don’t seem to have the same hang ups on youth.  As I’ve gotten older I don’t have a problem with a receding hair line or a dad bod.  It’s kind of hot really.  And gray hair is sexy!  When you get older and you are on the dating market you need to face reality and deal with grown people ****.  I appreciate maturity and how it looks.

If I was a man I think I would appreciate a woman with a bit of a sloppy mid section.  I don’t think cesarean scars or stretch marks would be a problem.  I also think that laugh lines and crows feet add character.  Aging characteristics just make a lady look different but I don’t feel like looks are diminished until you hit the elderly stage of life.  A woman can be active and vibrant until she’s made it to that hip replacement age.  Until then live it up girls!

You couldn’t pay me to be in my twenties again.  It was fine while it was happening but there’s nothing about my twenties I want to relive.  I have grown so much and I have been very blessed so I feel that I have a lot to look forward to in life even once I make it (Lord willing) to hip replacement age.

I think that prime time for women is between thirty two – thirty seven (or older).  You are still young enough to take chances and enjoy the youthful pleasures of life but you’re too old to be naive and foolish (hopefully).  By the time you are in your mid thirties a woman has an education beyond high school even if it’s from the school of hard knocks.  And she has had some good and bad experiences that make her a more compelling person.

I honestly think the fixation people have with youthful female beauty is that a lot of men want to treat women like blow up dolls.  There is little appreciation for a mature woman’s point of view in this world.  (I think that’s how the U.S. ended up with Donnie for president).  Outside of marriage and motherhood American society doesn’t take much interest in the experiences of adult women.

I also think that making women feel bad about aging is yet another way men try to control women.  Society holds many judgments like this against women.  The number of sexual partners, failed relationships, children, weight and age are all used as indictments against women but not against men.  People will use anything on this list and you can probably think of a few more on your own, to tell a woman she isn’t good enough or worthy enough to be respected or loved.

If women don’t measure up to the standards that our culture has set for her she is told to settle and accept poor treatment from partners, poor wages from employers and little to no voice in the world around her.  The bias placed on aging women is probably the most cruel because she is being judged and punished for not dying.  What a message to send women as they start to get a few gray hairs.  Age is another device to control women.

Be mindful of telling a woman she looks great for her age.  If you want to give her a compliment just tell her she looks great.  Period.  Telling someone they look younger than what they are may be a matter of fact but not necessarily a compliment.  There is no reason why younger should automatically be considered better.

Enjoy the age you are and don’t look back.  You would be giving up too much if you did.  Be the best you that you can be at this point in your life.  Be grateful for all of your experiences.  They give you a rich history and give you stories to tell at parties.  And if you’re blessed this history plus exercise and eating right will help you achieve peak grown woman sexy.

 

 

Respect is Required

Women need to require respect; not love, attention or affection.  It all comes down to respect and if my theory is correct the rest will follow.  It’s just a theory because no one has proven me right yet.  Respect is black and white and you know it when you see it.  Love is harder to identify and affection is cheap these days.

Women seem to be a bit desperate in 2017 and it’s pretty sad.  We have more professional opportunities than we’ve ever had and we can make our own choices when it comes to relationships.  But many of us seem to be choosing to run after the chance to be loved as if we are puppies that have been left home alone all day.

I did that type of things in my younger more naive days.  I use to assume that if a man was calling you daily and taking you out he was interested in a relationship that would lead to marriage.  I’ve learned that men will engage in relationships for years with women that they have no intention of marrying.  I went through one relationship like that in my starry eyed mid twenties and then I did it again during my scary age, the early thirties.

These men were not bad people and I don’t really fault them for anything.  But I gave them my heart after receiving a little bit of attention and affection.  I didn’t make them prove to me that they respected me as a woman.  I don’t even think I knew what that meant at the time.

Women are being told that we are wrong for being too emotional in relationships and wanting a commitment.  Sorry guys but I’m a woman and this isn’t a porn movie where you can separate the woman from her vagina.  Women tend to want to be committed and eventually married.  I understand that there are exceptions to rules but that’s typically how women are.

Because the world doesn’t really respect a feminine nature relationships are now being played by men’s rules.  Men are under no pressure to commit to women or even be nice to them.  But sex is expected in casual relationships right away.  Women often feel pressure to have sex just to get the chance at another date.  The men will take the sex and they may call her again or they may not.  Men may live with the mother of their children for years and he may marry her or he may not.  It’s all up to him and what he feels like doing.

I’ve heard the cliche that marriage is just a piece of paper and it doesn’t make a commitment.  I’ve heard women say this.  But it’s funny that after dating several years when the man asks the women usually say yes.  She’s been waiting around with baited breath for years and now the man feels that she is the best option after looking around the market he commits.

I think that if a woman just wants a casual or even mostly sexual relationship she had better make sure a man respect her first.  I don’t see how anyone can get turned on by someone they have doubts about.  In 2017 if you don’t have doubts about a person you might start seeing you haven’t been paying attention.  If a lady is not wanting marriage or an ongoing romance she should at least want the man to be nice to her and care for her well being.  I don’t see how even a casual fling can be worthwhile without basic respect.

Once a man has respect for a woman I think love and affection will follow.  All of us girls need to relax and stop being so anxious.  Too many of us are anxious to be some man’s concubine.  People are proud of it these days.  Just look at this picture of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez.

jrod

I know I shouldn’t feel bad for someone like Jennifer Lopez but I do.  This seems desperate and childish to me.  This woman is well into her forties for goodness sake and the mother of two.  She is wealthy and has a very successful career as a pop singer.  Why is she so proud to be this man’s piece of tail?  I don’t think that a man with good intentions treats the woman that he loves like this in “Vanity Fair”.  Where is the respect?

I’ve seen several pictures on Instagram of couples where the man is grabbing the woman’s behinds and the women stand there looking satisfied and in love.  I think some of them were engagement photos.  Now why aren’t there pictures of women grabbing men’s crotches and looking at the camera as the proud own while the man looks all starry eyed?  It probably doesn’t happen because men wouldn’t publicly tolerate that type of disrespect.

So ladies, we need to seek respect and the rest will come afterwards.  Don’t be desperate to attach yourself to a man that may not really love you.  I believe the basis of love is respect.  Think about what respect is and what it looks like.  It is probably different for everyone but here is the definition to help.  Notice that tits, ass and sexual prowess is not mentioned in the definition of respect.  That can be found anywhere and none of those things make you valuable beyond the end of a man’s ****.

re·spect
rəˈspekt/
noun
  1. 1.
    a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
    “the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor”
    synonyms: esteemregard, high opinion, admirationreverencedeferencehonor

    “the respect due to a great artist”
  2. 2.
    a particular aspect, point, or detail.
    “the government’s record in this respect is a mixed one”
    synonyms: aspectregardfacetfeaturewaysenseparticularpointdetail

    “the report was accurate in every respect”
verb
  1. 1.
    admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
    “she was respected by everyone she worked with”
    synonyms: esteemadmire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, reverereverencehonor

    “she is highly respected in the book industry”