White People’s News: Christian McCaffrey and Olivia Culpo a Case Study

 

Today I will discuss some pertinent White people news.  No, this is not about Trump nor any of his flunkies in Congress.  No, this isn’t about unemployment in rural America.  This is about two of the best looking White people on the planet:  Christian McCaffrey and Olive Culpo.  I will be discussing and analyzing their budding relationship or perhaps showmance.  This piece is being fueled by irrational jealousy and a distrust of mainstream and social media.

First, let me tell you a bit about my relationship with Christian McCaffrey that exists in my mind.  He’s the star running back for Brown America’s Team, the Carolina Panthers.  He was my man Cam’s right hand last season.  The first time I ever saw him was in a Playoff during Christian’s rookie season against the Saints.

I turned to the game just as Christian was trucking it across the field on his way to the end zone for a Panther’s touchdown.  I was stunned.  I had never seen a White man move that way.  And I still haven’t forgotten it.  I refer to Christian as Barry Sanders Jr.  In an instant I was struck with an old lady crush.  I could easily have a child this man’s age.  Easily.

 

 

Christian McCaffrey seems to be a very nice person.  He helped save an old man’s life last year while he was hiking with his brothers.  He has no tattoos, he seems to love the Lord and he is a renaissance man.  He’s an amateur musician and has a classic taste in clothing.  His fashion sense has a hint of an edge at times.  I will credit that to spending a lot of time around Cam Newton.  His dad is a Superbowl Champ that played for the Denver Broncos.  Christian McCaffrey is a dream boat.

Side note:  What’s going on with the Carolina Panthers?  They are fine as hell.  They don’t even look like a real football team.  It’s like they are a movie about a football team.  Cam is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen.  Luke Keuchly is a looker.  Christian is gorgeous and carries himself with sophistication at a young age.  Coach Rivera gives all kinds of mature, sexy Latin vibes.  It’s like they were cast by a Hollywood agent.

For the last month or so there have been rumors in the White gossip media outlets about Christian and Olivia dating.  It all started when they started following each other on IG and he liked one of her pictures.  Someone please explain to me whose job it is to monitor which celebrity unfollows who and likes what.  What a job.  After that gossip media news outlets said that “sources” say that the attractive pair was spending time together and enjoying each other’s company.

I have been through phases when I watched TMZ religiously and I pored over grocery store gossip magazines like US Weekly.  After a while I came to the conclusion that it is all baloney.  The celebrities themselves are the “sources” that vague articles cite in articles.  And I’m sure that they tip off TMZ crews on when they are going to dinner at a trendy LA eatery with a new, high profile companion.  TMZ stakes out in a very small area in LA.  So people that hang out in that area are trying to be seen.

I question a lot of these so called celebrity relationships because a lot of the speculation is based on one meeting or dinner date.  Imagine  having someone write about you every time you had a good time on a dance floor with someone or each time you went out to dinner or a movie with a new friend.  One flirtation or evening out does not make a relationship.

But I think the gossip media outlets and the celebrities take advantage of it all and give people something to talk about.  Showmances seem like an easy and mutually beneficial way to get your name out to the public.  I suspect that a lot of the Kardashian relationships and some of the marriages have been showmances.  I have watched reports on TMZ of some of the Kardashian so called romantic relationships.  I’ve seen these women supposedly caught by surprise by the paparazzi out on a date or making a red carpet appearance and they had ZERO chemistry with the man in their company.

It was like two strangers just happened to be walking side by side on a busy sidewalk.  Or they were out with an employee or business associate.  But they wanted us to buy that we were witnessing the beginning of a hot new romance.  I’m sorry but I kind of suspect the same thing might be going on with Christian and Olivia.

These pictures prove that they’ve met but that’s about it.  Are these really the best image this photographer could have produced?  I don’t see any chemistry.  I would make a better paparazzi than this person.  That is if there was really anything to photograph.  And they’re not that famous.  I know them because I follow sports and pageants.  I don’t think that these two have the kind of clout to be recognized overseas and draw much attention.  It wouldn’t be that hard to surreptitiously stalk and photograph them.

Who knows this could be a sweet new romance.  It could also be someone holding their drunk friend’s hand so they don’t get lost.  That’s sweet too.  We don’t really know what’s going on here and neither of them are saying anything.  They are Vaguebooking.

Olivia’s friend made an IG story about her time in Mexico with Olivia and Christian.  I’ve never heard of her nor her male companion.  So how exactly did TMZ and the other gossip peddlers find this so fast?  They were tipped off that’s how.

Once again we saw no chemistry or spark whatsoever.  You know how social media works.  Some people get a tiny bit of a boyfriend or girlfriend and then they make dozens of posts about their new soul mate and everything they do together.  This isn’t happening here at all.  Or they don’t post about their love life at all and suddenly announce that they are now married.  Neither is happening here so I think they are just looking for attention which surprises me from Christian.  He doesn’t seem thirst like that.  Her yes, him no.

It will be interesting to see how this all pans out.  Olivia seems like a nice enough lady.  And I loved her Miss Universe dress more than any other contest winner I can remember.

But this woman is media trained and I believe that she is driven and calculating.  Evidently she posts a bunch of stuff about going to band camp when she was a kid and getting made fun of for her eyebrows.  Girl, bye!  Even if it’s true.

She’s dated many well known men in the past.  A man that plays for the Detroit Lions had a breakdown on IG over his break up with her a few months ago.  And in between his breakdown and the beginning the Christian rumors that she probably started it was said that she dated a famous DJ.  This girl is something else.

Anyway I wish them the best.  And by that I mean that I hope Christian will be OK regardless of how this pans out.  I won’t say that I hope this is real because it’s here nor there to me aside from them both being very nice looking people.  I just think the things people do for notoriety and attention are very interesting.