Modern Dating Scam: Gratitude

Gratitude and appreciation is yet another modern dating scam pulled on women. Gratitude and appreciation is being used as emotional blackmail against women. It’s as if men and women think women should be grateful for any kind gesture a man offers a woman.

Kindness should be expected. Kindness from men should be the default. That’s particularly true if you’re spending time around men you know socially or romantically.

This video trended on Twitter a few weeks ago. It’s part of the reason I decided to deactivate my account. The ignorance is astounding and frustrating.

I suspect this is a made up skit that was produced and posted for engagement. That’s irrelevant because the commentary on this matter is the problem more than the video itself. In the video a woman is at a man’s house. She is upset because he has served her a steak dinner at his house but they made plans to go to the restaurant Capital Grille. This was their second date.

Much of the commentary said the woman had a bad attitude. Commenters said the man made a kind and romantic gesture by cooking dinner (I suspect it’s carry out) and surprising her. Commenters insulted the way she styled herself. Some said she should be dumped right away because she was quarrelsome.

The man lured the woman to his home under false pretenses. This is a great example of a “Bait and Swith” date. I wrote a dating scam post about “Bait and Switch” dates three and a half years ago.

The man was inconsiderate at best and sneaky and under handed at worst. He communicated poorly either unintentionally or on purpose in order to create a confusing situation he could exploit. Either way he broke her trust.

Men and women thought that she should go along with the man’s change of plans because he offered her dinner. That’s not the point at all. If the woman agreed to spend the evening in this stranger’s home she is taking a big risk. If something unfortunate happened to her during the evening many would blame her for spending time in a stranger’s apartment. The romantic gesture would be irrelevant at that point.

This is emotional blackmail. It seems that if a man make a kind and seemingly generous gesture a woman is obligated to accept and I suppose coo at his attention. Women are essentially supposed to allow themselves to be bought off at a low rate. If the woman questions the man’s intentions or rejects his offer because it made her feel uncomfortable she’s seen as unappreciative.

Romantic gestures are great. That’s what courtships and dating periods are for. Men need to understand that women are the vulnerable party between them and they should be respectful of that. Kind and sweet gestures should be exchanged between sweethearts but trust and respect is only gained through integrity, good character and time. Good communication and being considerate of your partner is key. Romantic dinners and gifts are great but building the foundation of a relationship is not a mere exchange of gifts. It’s much more mysterious and exciting than that.

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