Black Women are Human and Humans aren’t Always Nice

Social media loves to harp on Black women that aren’t so sweet or come off as self serving. They will fixate on it for days. If a Black woman is snarky, mean, puts herself first or isn’t cheerleadery the public takes great offense to this and hopes for her downfall.

Black women are human and sometimes humans aren’t nice. All humans are different. If a Black woman isn’t super nice to you get over it. She doesn’t owe you anything anyway. People that you don’t know don’t owe you nice.

Men (all) are left to rape, steal, pillage and destroy. Some support their actions and make excuses for them. Non Black women often remain unscathed regardless of their words or actions because they are great at deflecting the matter or someone will stand up for them.

People insist that Black women be nurturing, supportive and sappily sweet at all times without fail. That expectation is exhausting. Who is doing all that for Black women? No one. The main people complaining about the women pictured above are other Black women. We all have that sweet and nurturing side to us. It’s reserved for who we want to share it with. It’s not for public consumption.

Black women aren’t being allowed a full range of personality traits the way others are. Black women aren’t being allowed to be human. It’s as if Black women can only exist within a very narrow range. Give people space space to be who they are. If you don’t like them give them enough space that you don’t see or hear from them. It’s that simple.

I’m not advocating being mean, haughty or arrogant. I’m just bringing attention to a double standard. All of these men have made careers by being blunt, direct, rude, mean, selfish and greedy. They are admired for it and their nastiness or gruff personality alone is what made them successful. Trump was elected president for being “politically incorrect” in other words rude.

Ironically, social media pundits that are critical of snarky Black women absolutely love Black women who are mean violent and clown themselves on reality TV and fight videos. They eat it up with a spoon. But if a Black woman in a position of authority or leadership acts like she’s in charge she’s seen as problematic.

I’m not advocating being a nasty person with poor manners. I have taken issue with Tyra and Wendy. Aretha was clearly a diva. Anyone speaking from a pulpit needs to choose their words carefully. But stop thinking every Black woman owes you nice all the time. It’s as if people want Black women to earn acceptance that they would freely give others. Black women are human and humans are not always likeable and nice but be fair.

Product Review: Cristalbox Keratin Hair Mask

I’ve been watching videos of women with Keratin treatments on social media for years. They are fascinating. The hair looks fake and like it’s made of plastic but the hair has a liquid quality to it. It looks beautiful.

The models in these videos usually have naturally straight and long hair. I don’t have naturally straight or long hair but I decided to try a keratin treatment to see what affect it would have on my hair. My hair is naturally kinky and chemically straightened. I describe it as spongy.

The keratin mask is easy to use and not time consuming. The mask left my hair very soft and bouncy and it smells nice. I’m glad I decided to try the product. I wasn’t sure what to expect so I didn’t want to invest a great deal. I ordered a Keratin Hair Mask by Cristalbox for $11.99. I was pleased with the product and recommend it for anyone.

Here’s What’s Missing from Cam’s Argument

Cam Newton made public statements recently that have been heavily criticized. Cam said that a woman’s purpose is to cater to her man. Fine. That’s great, especially if a woman can land a man with Cam Newton’s kind of money.

But there were some things missing from his statement. What’s missing is the man’s role. What did the man do to deserve having a woman cater to him. In the case of Cam Newton and his public relationships he didn’t seem to offer love, loyalty, devotion, respect or honor.

Cam Newton didn’t marry Kia Proctor, the mother of his first four children. They had a relationship for around five years. He didn’t marry IG model La Reina Shaw, the mother of his youngest child either. I’m unsure of the state of the relationship between La Reina and Cameron but they don’t seem to be a couple.

Kia is thirty three and an unmarried mom of five. She has a daughter from a relationship before she met Cam Newton and she has four with Cam. What did she really get from that relationship? She spent the prime years of her youth catering to Cameron and having his children.

If Cam was devoted to Kia and their family unit he would be worth catering to particularly since he’s wealthy. But that was not the case. Cam said the relationship changed over time and he became a different person over the years. It’s clear that maintaining their family unit and raising the children in a traditional home was not a priority for Cameron. I’m sure Kia catered to Cam. What did that get her?

Kia got older and preoccupied with motherhood. She was no longer the DC stripper that charmed her way into the NFL quarterback’s heart. I certainly hope she got a nice piece of property or a lump sum of money for her efforts. But she may have been able to get that without tying herself to Cameron. I’m sure Cam would be a great sugar daddy. But he doesn’t seem to be very good husband material.

La Reina seems to be a fling that resulted in a child. It’s hard to say but Cam isn’t showing any devotion and love to her either. I don’t think a man is worth catering to for an extended amount of time if he doesn’t honor and respect you. In Cam’s defense that’s probably not even what La Reina was seeking.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman catering to a man but choose one with long term potential. Otherwise you’re wasting time and energy and you’re limiting future opportunities. Kia and La Reina will have complicated families if they get married to new partners while their children are still minors. The greatest baggage of all is Cam Newton. It all sounds like a big headache to me.

Women should cater to their husbands. In order to become a husband a man needs to prove himself honorable. Women should cater to men that are loyal, loving and devoted to them and their children.

There is no reason to waste energy and time on fly by night relationships. Obviously, that’s the case even if he’s rich like Cam. Kia should have gotten some nice jewelry and and kept on stripping. La Reina should have gotten a few nice vacations and kept on IG modeling. They both would have been better off keeping Cam at a distance. If they met that rich guy they could have met a different one; one with long term potential. Women need to invest wisely.

https://www.tmz.com/2022/04/12/cam-newton-says-women-should-cater-to-man-needs-know-when-to-be-quiet/

Demi Moore is a Victim Too

I’m not going to go into The Slap Heard Around the World at this year’s Oscars Ceremony. We’ve heard about it enough. The real victim here is Demi Moore. I’m sure her feelings are hurt because the comparison Chris Rock made to Jada Pinkett Smith caused such a storm. I bet she thought she looked fabulous all these years since the 1997 release of the film GI Jane. She’s right. She did look fabulous and Demi did not deserve to become collateral damage in this fiasco.

The word iconic gets thrown around a lot these days but Demi Moore’s look in GI Jane is iconic. I never saw the movie and I’m not sure it was critically acclaimed or popular. Demi Moore as a Marine is what made the film memorable. She was sexy, beautiful and bald and that’s all anyone remembers about the film.

She looked gorgeous and I’m not sure why Jada Pinkett Smith was upset by the comparison. It was a compliment. It should have got her wheels turning. The light bulb should have gone off. She should have gotten her movie star husband to produce a remake of the film and put her in it. But instead the Smiths decided to be their messy, dramatic selves.

Jada Pinkett Smith is a part of a very small club of women that go bald and look beautiful. Mrs. Smith says that she is sensitive about her baldness due to alopecia which I can understand but I don’t think her insecurities should have been made the center of an international media event like the Oscars. Besides that a woman with her resources can afford the best wigs available if she doesn’t like going bald. If Will and Jada had a problem with what Chris said they should have settled it in the parking lot. I didn’t care for the dramatic outburst.

Anyway, it’s not fair to Demi Moore that her look in GI Jane is seen as so bad that someone deserved to be slapped over it. A bald head certainly isn’t traditional femininity but she made it look good as does Jada. Here are a few others that made having no hair a fashionable and sexy look. I don’t know what all the fuss is about.

If Jada asked me for my advice I would tell her to embrace her look. She has a beautiful face and a great figure. She’s still feminine and sexy. The bald head gives her kind of an edgy look which I thought she liked. But if she wants a more traditional feminine look invest in a good wig. She can afford the best. If I was advising Will I would tell him to keep his professional game face on when at high profile events and settle differences in the parking lot.

Living Practically, Managing and Thriving

Practicality can go a long way if you’re on a budget or trying to save money. Basic expenses are becoming more costly so it’s important to know how to prioritize and manage your money and household. It doesn’t matter what your household is like. Your home and personal finances need to be managed whether you are single, single parents, single with pets, live with relatives, live with partner or live with a partner and children. These are a few of my practical habits for managing personal finance. All of this may be common sense for some but household budgeting and thrift may not come easily for others.

Pay for essentials with your paycheck. If you are a wage earner that earns a regular paycheck use your check to cover your basics. When you get paid use your check to pay for bills that are due. Buy gas, household items, toiletries and groceries. If you are a tither use your check to pay that as well. Once you’ve cared for the essentials the left over money can be saved, invested or used as discretionary income.

Pay for essentials with money you have. Some will disagree with this. By that I mean spend the money you’ve already earned. Some will advise to use credit cards as much as possible and pay the balance every month. I’ve heard people say they do this in order to earn travel points. This may work for a person that is married with children because their expenses are higher and the points will add up faster. I also think this strategy can work well for someone that is trying to establish credit. It’s personal choice but I prefer to keep things simple and pay for basics with money in the bank. Decisions need to be made on personal circumstances and priorities.

I’m unmarried without children so rewards or travel points don’t add up very fast for me because my expenses aren’t very high. I’m not concerned about establishing credit because I’ve already done so. I just don’t think it’s a good practice to make essential purchases on credit. Your budget is how you manage money you’ve earned not really the credit you have.

I think that spending money that you’ve already earned helps to keep you cognizant of your budget. When you’re aware of your real income you will be more conscious of what you’re able to spend. It’s all a matter of numbers and consciousness. Being conscious of the real number will keep you from paying overdraft fees.

Take advantage of sales and specials. Groceries prices have increased. At the grocery where I shop I’ve noticed that the managers have made an effort to make sure that there is a sale item in every category. If you’re not super picky you can usually find a comparable item at a reasonable price. The grocers are trying to help people out.

If you find meat on sale buy it. Freeze it and thaw it when you’re ready to make dinner. The same can be said for canned items and non perishables. Take advantage of sales and save them. The drawback is to make sure you can use the sale items within a reasonable time and you’re not hording. The same thing applies to using coupons.

Save a little bit of money when you get money. Years ago I saw a financial expert on Oprah who said “pay yourself first”. This was great advice and anyone at any income can apply it to their circumstances. Come up with a savings plan even if it’s a jar in a kitchen cupboard where you drop in spare change.

Think about what you want in your future. Consider retirement and things that you want such as starting a business, a car, home, vacations, glasses, medical procedures and luxuries. (There is nothing wrong with wanting luxuries and nice things. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.) Whatever you want for your future is your business and a matter of goals, interests, lifestyle and personal taste. No matter what you want for your future it’s going to take money.

It’s a good idea to invest in your employer’s 401k program. I also recommend opening a Roth IRA. Research or ask your bank or credit union about Roth IRA options. They have different plans for different levels of income. The younger you are the better off you will be long term if you start saving.

Learn to cook. Learning to cook is a basic life skill for men and women, married or single, whether you have children or you don’t. Cooking can save you money, time and can be healthier. It’s also a bonding activity for family and friends. Cooking is easy so don’t be intimidated. If you can acquire a few basic skills such as baking meat or cooking pasta you can create a variety of meals for yourself a guest or your family.

Groceries prices are rising but so are restaurant prices. Eating out is usually costly, not great for you and it’s often not satisfying. It’s not hard to learn to prepare chicken breasts or pork chops. Keep a few basic seasonings in the house such as salt, pepper and Lowry’s seasoning salt, lemon pepper or garlic salt. Heat up frozen or canned vegetables or cook rice as a side dish.

If you can read you can cook. Look on Pinterest for recipes. You can also find recipes on seasoning packets and canned goods which are purchased at the grocery store for meals like meatloaf or sloppy joes. Give it a try. There will be some trial and error but it is worth your time to develop some basic culinary skills. You should be able to tolerate your own cooking. I’ve also found that cooking gives you a greater appreciation for people that work in restaurants.

Don’t buy lunch at work every day. Restaurants are expensive. Very few restaurants offer healthy options. Packing a lunch is much more economical. Frozen entrees are between $3-$5. They are tasty and satisfying for the price. I usually pack a snack like an apple, fruit bar or a ziploc bag of chips. That gets me through the day until dinner.

Soups and canned ravioli are good to pack for lunch too. Frozen entrees and canned items like soups and ravioli are high in sodium so it’s important to watch the rest of your sodium intake for the day. Since convenience foods are high in sodium consider taking leftovers to work for lunch. This is another benefit to learning to cook. Invest in food storage containers.

Pay credit card bills off in full at the end of the month. This way you avoid paying interest and fees. At times you may need to make payments on a purchase such as a new transmission or paying for your wedding. It’s a good idea to keep your credit card balance low or clear in case of emergencies or expensive planned purchases.

I prefer to use credit cards on things like travel, clothing, electronics and vehicle maintenance. Plan ahead in order to insure that you will have money in your account to comfortably pay the balance in full once the credit card bill arrives.

Pay what you owe. If you owe your friend twenty dollars and you only have a twenty dollar bill you have zero dollars. You can’t grow financially with a lot of debt. Sometimes debt is necessary to take on. Have a plan to pay it back before taking on the debt and stick with it. If you took on debt in an emergency seek out assistance such as the case of medical debt. Pay your bills on time and avoid late fees. This is how you establish good credit. Your credit rating can make a big difference in the opportunities you’re offered.

Always look for ways to increase your income. Whether you earn extra income from a promotion at work, job change, career change, part time job or starting a business more money is a good thing. More money increases your sense of security, safety and opportunities.

Businesses are always looking for ways to increase revenue so you have no choice but to look for ways to increase your income. Do your best to stay out of situations that keep you stagnant. If a life situation isn’t giving you new opportunities to grow and thrive seek a new path.

These practices that I developed at a young age have been beneficial. Financial advice often grinds my gears because it tends to be geared towards high income people. You can only budget so much when your income isn’t very high. Market values dictate prices of essentials and there is no way around paying minimum prices for items that you need or want. Always be looking for new opportunities to increase your income and give yourself a bigger budget.

Pandemic Book Review: Parable of the Sower

SPOILERS AHEAD!

It’s 2021 and COVID cases are increasing which makes pre COVID life impossible. Social activities are very limited so there is more time for past times like reading. My first book review of 2021 is Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler. I would recommend this book.

Octavia Butler is an African American author. I appreciate Parable of the Sower because if features a Black, female protagonist and most of the characters are Black but race is not the vehicle that moves the story along. Parable of the Sower is not a typical Black story that involves Civil Rights, inner city life, music, slavery or sports. I don’t have anything against that subject matter but I love it when writers give Black characters range beyond those roles.

Octavia Butler

The story takes place in California from around 2024 to 2036. American society has spiraled downward. The economy is in shambles and Americans are living in poverty. Crime is out of control. Homelessness is commonplace. The government is rife with corruption. The nation’s infrastructure has crumbled.

The United States regressed one hundred and fifty years. Every shameful part of our past was a part of the books present. People were enslaved. Workers were routinely hurt in factories. Child labor was commonly used. A large part of the population was illiterate. Drugs and addictions were ubiquitous. A plague was spreading and making people ill.

Racial tensions were high. Nationalism and hate crimes had been on the rise for decades. A presidential candidate from Texas used this vulnerability to gain support. His campaign promise was to make America great again. Octavia Butler wrote Parable of the Sower in 1993.

The book moves a little slow in parts but I would encourage readers to stick with it. The story is a part of a series and there isn’t a very exciting payoff but I was floored by the author’s insight. If Donald Trump read I would have sworn that he based his campaign on Parable of the Sower. We all know he doesn’t read so I will assume that Butler was clairvoyant. She died in 2006.

If you enjoy dystopian novels add this to your reading list. I think you will enjoy it.

Letitia Wright’s Controversy

Letitia Wright is the young British actress that earned her place in the spotlight as Shuri in the 2018 film “Black Panther” where she played the precocious and tech savvy little sister of the title character. I am very impressed with Miss Wright as an individual and I think she’s one of the brightest stars of young Hollywood.

Letitia Wright is well spoken, lady like and fashionable. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I use to follow her on Instagram and she often shared thoughts about her Christian faith. I think she is great and it’s wonderful to see a young Black woman, especially one that looks like she has two Black parents and four Black grandparents prosper.

Last week Twitter got upset with Letitia because she shared a video with an anti vaccine message. I didn’t watch the video but it sounds pretty wacky and scatterbrained. I don’t know why people are wanting to cancel Letitia Wright because a lot of people seem to be apprehensive about the COVID 19 vaccine.

This is yet another example of the narrow margin society gives Black women to exist within. The world doesn’t want to see Black women move with autonomy. We are expected to have our actions and opinions dictated to us so we can be used as tools that service others.

Letitia Wright didn’t stick to the script given to Black women and she was heavily criticized for it. I’m not in favor of what seem to be her views but Letitia is entitled to her view point. She didn’t deserve to be belittled, called stupid and threatened with the end of her career.

Letitia apologized for posting the controversial video and deactivated her Twitter account. It’s amazing how much grace some are shown while Black women are shown very little. The more visible African ancestry a Black woman has the less grace she is given.

Marvel Actor Letitia Wright Apologises After Sharing Vaccine Doubter Video (tyla.com)

I wasn’t a huge Black Panther fan but I admire Letitia Wright a great deal. She is a breath of fresh air in Hollywood. It’s great to see a young Black woman present herself with pride, maturity and modesty as opposed to being a loud mouthed bimbo fabricated by a surgeon.

Despite Letitia Wright’s gifts she’s still being silenced for having an opinion on a controversial matter. I guess it would be easier for the public to accept her if she was dating Future, rapping about selling her body for cash and gifts or discussing her wet ass pussy.

I would support Letitia if she expressed herself in a sexual way as well. Black women are entitled to be individuals with personalities that guide their own opinions and actions. We should not require permission to express ourselves. Black women should be given the same amount of grace and room for growth that others receive.