Pandemic Summer Review: Malice at the Palace on Netflix

The Malice at the Palace is the infamous brawl that took place at the Palace of Auburn Hills in 2004 between players from the Indiana Pacers, players from the Detroit Pistons and Pistons fans. Netflix made a documentary about the melee by the same name. I enjoyed the film. I think NBA fans and students of human psychology will like it. Malice at the Palace is fairly short. It gets to the point and doesn’t waste time so it’s not a big investment if you don’t care for it.

I remember the night of the Malice at the Palace otherwise known as the Basketbrawl but I still learned some new things. The film about the history making fight has interviews from the players, fans and police involved in the incident. It was pretty interesting hearing the perspective of fans, some of whom were arrested and one left the Palace on a stretcher and law enforcement.

My impression of the Basketbrawl is that everyone over thought it and got too emotional about the incident. The only difference between the Malice at the Palace and other sports fights is the fan involvement. It’s not rare for baseball to have a bench clearing brawl after a pitcher intentionally hits a batter with a ball. Hockey is notorious for fights. I think we’ve all heard the joke that they watched a fight on TV and a hockey game broke out. Pro sports is pretty much a celebration of toxic masculinity anyway and I thought that’s why we all watched.

There was a lot of media focus surrounding The Malice at the Palace. The media talked about if for weeks and the players were vilified and labeled as thugs. The NBA is made up of mostly Black players. In the early 2000s many of them were tattooed with braided hair. The public thought of them as thugs anyway so the Basketbrawl fit the narrative that already existed in the minds of many.

The fight happened at the beginning of the season. Key players were suspended for nearly half the season. The Pacers players that were interviewed thought the punishment was too harsh. I agree. The movie pointed out that the Pacers had a great team that year and had a great chance to go to the NBA Finals and winning.

The Pacers players lament a missed once in a lifetime opportunity. We’ll never know if the Pacers would have made it to the ’05 Finals and become NBA Champions. At the end of the season the championship hopeful Pacers team was disbanded. Ron Artest went to the Lakers and Reggie Miller retired.

It has long been my observation that the NBA favors large market teams and cheats smaller market ones. I’ve noticed bad officiating in The Playoffs over the years in favor of teams with larger markets and bankable stars. The 2004 NBA Finals Champions were the Detroit Pistons who essentially were a bunch of midwestern unknowns that beat the LA Lakers during Lakers era. I suspect that the commissioner at the time, David Stern didn’t want a different group of midwestern, small market players having a Cinderella season. That is my theory for the harsh punishments for the fight aside from publicly flogging Black men for American audiences.

Check out The Malice at the Palace if you’re an NBA fan, someone who enjoys drama or if you’re nostalgic about the early 2000s. I think you’ll enjoy it. If you don’t at least it’s short and fast paced.

Dua Lipa and Jonathan: A Case Study in White Womanhood

For context: I don’t know one song by Jonathan aka known as DaBaby. I am familiar with him through You Tube celebrity gossip channels that discuss his behavior. Jonathan is a menace to society. He has been implicated in murders, he and his security have brutalized fans, he has been a jerk in general. He isn’t loyal to his children’s mother or perhaps mothers. I can’t cancel Jonathan because I never supported him.

I enjoy Dua Lipa. She makes catchy pop music. Dua specializes in dance music which I appreciate. She also represents traditional femininity and sex appeal which I appreciate and is becoming increasingly rare.

Recently Jonathan was performing at a show and he made vulgar comments about AIDS and the LGBT community. Crude, mean behavior is typical for Jonathan. But his past deviant behavior has been in the Black community or someone working in the service industry. This time he offended the LGBT community and was taken to task for it.

Whatever works. I’m glad the LGBT community is taking the trash out. A win is a win. But I do find it to be unfortunate that his behavior was tolerated before. I didn’t realize how much mainstream appeal Jonathan had until he was cancelled. It’s interesting to me that so many people thought it was acceptable that he hit a female fan in the face and his security put a male fan in a coma for approaching him at a show. Jonathan was the toast of the town despite being accused of taking part in murders that happened in the Black community.

All of Jonathan’s past misdeeds were overlooked when he was seen as a hot commodity that can make White people some money and give them clout. I have found that that is how a lot of White women operate. They are friends with people when it’s convenient and beneficial but they often times are not genuine friends. When Jonathan’s behavior caught up with him Dua promptly distanced herself. She never really cared about his character or lack thereof. She just didn’t want to take the heat that came with associating with a fool.

Dua Lipa’s relationship with Jonathan is professional and I don’t expect her to stand up for him in any way. Self preservation is always key. My problem is the way she cozied up to him in the first place despite him being a sociopath. All of that was put to the side when she thought Jonathan would help her star shine a little bit brighter. That’s why I reject feminist notions of all women being a part of a sisterhood. Nope. Don’t be a sucker. There is no sisterhood. There is a hierarchy.

The feminism notion of a sisterhood benefits White women. It has done nothing for Black women and I think it will do damage to Black women in the future through trans ideology which further pushes a White standard of feminine beauty. Dua Lipa wasn’t thinking of any sisterhood when she decided to work with Jonathan. But obviously she knows how to take a moral stand. Hmm. Interesting.

I’m focusing on Dua Lipa because she is the person that disappointed me in this situation. She’s the one I liked. But she isn’t alone. Pop legends Madonna and Elton John made it clear who matters to them and who doesn’t as did concert promoters that had Jonathan booked for several shows this summer.

Clearly, Black people are disposable. Service industry workers are of no consequence. The music industry has no problem buddying up to a musician that disrespects and damages people that are of little value to them as long as they make a few bucks.

In my experiences with White women they interact with Black people under certain circumstances and situations. For example, a White co worker will be friendly at work but will act like they don’t see you if they run into you on the weekends. White girls at college are buddy buddy at school but if they run into you at home they act like they don’t know you. That’s why I never believe White people when they say they have Black friends in order to give themselves some type of credibility.

The Dua Lipa/DaBaby debacle reminds me of White women I’ve met and their situational friendship.

Modern Dating Scam: The Ride or Die Chick – Anna Duggar and Yandy: a case study

Anna Duggar and Yandy Smith don’t have a lot in common other than being cable reality TV personalities. Anna Duggar married into the fundamentalist Christian Duggar family of TLC reality TV show fame. Yandy is known from the VH1 program “Love and Hip Hop New York” . Both were married on TV to men that would end up incarcerated. Other than reality TV Anna and Yandy share the dubious distinction of being ride or die chicks and having it all blow up in their faces the same week.

Anna’s husband Josh was arrested for possession of child pornography two weeks ago. Josh is currently out on bail. Those kind of allegations are always shocking but Josh has been accused of sexual misconduct in the past. When Josh was young he sexually assaulted his younger sisters while they were asleep. Josh did not serve any time for what he did to his sisters. Instead he went through therapy at his church. Josh who grew up in a strict Christian household and he has also been caught on websites for married people seeking to cheat on their spouse.

All of the revelations came out in 2015. At the time Anna and Josh had four children. Anna made the decision to stay in her marriage and remain loyal to her husband. One would think that Josh would change his ways after being exposed in the media and publicly humiliating his wife. Instead he got worse and the allegations became even more dubious. Anna’s forgiveness, loyalty, patience and love didn’t amount to anything.

Yandy and her husband Mendeecees have been featured on “Love and Hip Hope New York” and “Couples Retreat”. Mendeecees was convicted on drug related charges and served four years in prison. His wife Yandy waited for him and supported him faithfully during his incarceration. She also became a prison reform activist.

An episode of “Couples Retreat” recently aired and Mendeecees was asked if he would support Yandy the way she supported him if she was incarcerated. He said he doesn’t know how he would react if the roles were reversed. The man that promised to be by her side through good times and bad admitted on a reality TV show that his vows were not sincere. Again, Yandy’s love and devotion amounted to a hill of beans. Her love is unrequited and unmatched. Yandy wasted her time and energy. She gained absolutely nothing.

I too have been a ride or die chick. About fifteen years ago I dated a man who was in the Army. The relationship happened while American troops were being deployed to Iraq. I thought I was in love with this man and I threw myself into supporting my soldier. I called him sometimes, wrote him and sent him things that he asked for. I watched the news every night and cried in front of the TV when the loss of troops was reported.

One day with tears in my eyes I tried to visualize my suitor sitting in front of the TV crying for me. I couldn’t see it. It didn’t seem feasible. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I began to question his feelings and intentions for me. He became dramatic and argumentative. I began to distance myself from him after that and the relationship fizzled out and ended. I wasted my energy, time, emotions and money. My love, care, loyalty, patriotism and devotion to this man amounted to nothing.

I took a long break from dating after that relationship. I remained completely single for about eight years before I took an interest in dating again. In those eight years I learned to make sure that any many I dated proved genuine interest and good intentions to me. I learned to take my time to ensure that a man invested in me. I am not interested in reciprocity. I’m interested in leadership. I don’t want tit for tat. I want a man that chooses me and proves to me that he is worthy to be a loyal husband.

Once I started dating again my circumstances improved. I have a boyfriend now who is clutch and very cute. But aside from that I learned how to get rid of men that weren’t showing me that they were sincere early on. Women need to understand that it doesn’t matter how much she loves a man. It doesn’t amount to anything. It matters how much he loves you.

Don’t be a ride or die chick. No sincere man wants a woman to be a ride or die chick. Only selfish men want that. A man with good intentions wants to be ride or die for her. A man that loves a woman wants her to be as stress and burden free as possible. He wants her to know that she can rely on him is she has struggles. It’s never the other way around.

Pandemic Winter Book Review: The Cobbler

I recently finished The Cobbler: How I Disrupted an Industry, Fell From Grace, and Came Back Stronger Than Ever by Steve Madden. I ran across this book on a library shelf. I was familiar with the brand and owned some of the product but I had never thought of Steve Madden as a person. This book is Steve Madden’s life story. For the most part it is an interesting read and I would recommend it.

First off, I enjoyed the conversational tone of the book. The language was very direct and blunt. Madden is from New York and this book was written the way New Yorkers tend to talk. The author did not try to be deep, woke or intellectual. Reading this story was like talking to a person in a bar.

The Cobbler is fairly short but it touches on a few different subjects. I’ll start with what the book is not. The book is not primarily about fashion, design and trends. Those things are discussed but it’s not the focus of the book so if that’s what you’re looking for this book isn’t for you.

This book touches on family ties, addiction, business, a possible personality disorder the stock market, marriage, divorce, parenthood, incarceration and social injustices. There is a lot going on which can probably be said for all of our lives.

Steve Madden’s story starts in Long Island, NY with his mother, father and two brothers. He talks a bit about his family dynamic and childhood. In his teen years he begins his career as a retail sales person in, you guessed it. A shoe store. He expanded his career in the shoe business as a young adult as a designer, manufacturer and sales representative in New York City.

Steve started his shoe company with $1,100 in 1990. The company did relatively well but he knew the company couldn’t grow without additional cash flow. Steve had a childhood friend named Danny that lent him money to to take his company private. It was a part of a scheme to flip stocks.

Danny worked with a man named Jordan who inflated and sold stocks. The deal was that Steve had to sell his stocks after they were inflated. This deal was depicted in the Leonardo DiCaprio movie Wolves of Wall Street. Steve served about two and a half years for stock manipulation, money laundering and securities fraud.

Steve Madden’s incarceration is the most interesting part of the book. If you enjoy programs like Lockup or Locked Up Abroad you may enjoy The Cobbler. Steve describes prison life and some of the characters he might while locked up. Incarceration gave Steve an understanding of inequities in society and how racist and inhumane the American prison system is.

Steve employed several people that he met while he was incarcerated. He knew that he was fortunate to have a business to return to while other inmates had no opportunities. I really appreciate the author did not get sappy and all kumbaya (which is getting on my nerves) while discussing these matters. He was very matter of fact. Steve Madden supports a non profit organization that helps ex prisoners and homeless people.

Steve got engaged in prison which was cute. He married one of his employees that was with him since the early days of his company once he was released. After his incarceration Steve Madden returned to work and his company grew and became a global juggernaut.

This is an interesting book and inspiration can be gained from it in many different ways. It’s a short read and a little slow in parts but it picks up in the middle. There are heartwarming parts of the book as well as some laugh out loud moments. Overall, would recommend it if you have the time.

Stop Taking Make Up Advice From Men

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/style/story/jojo-siwa-full-makeover-beauty-influencer-james-charles-72567998

Teenaged millionaire business woman Jo Jo Siwa got a makeover from make up guru James Charles. It was absolutely dreadful. He made seventeen year old Jo Jo look like she was a thirty six year old, divorced single mom getting a makeover because she’s ready to start dating again. I don’t know how you mess Jo Jo Siwa up but James Charles managed.

Jo Jo is a bubbly, sweet, blonde, girl that most of us met while she was a young girl on dance moms. She’s tall and would be a stunning modeling at her height of 5’9″. It would be great to see her with a new, mature style. But James Charles made her up to look harsh and artificial like him.

Women need to stop taking dating advice from the likes of James Charles and Jeffree Starr. These guys have a lot of women looking manufactured these days. You’re already beautiful, fresh, fun, feminine. Have fun with your make up and simply enhance what you’ve been given. There’s no need for the exaggerated femininity. You’ve got this ladies.

Quarantine QT – SNL – YouTube

I’ve gotten great fashion advice from men before. An eye for fashion isn’t gender specific and there’s nothing wrong with listening to style wisdom. But this current crop of make up gurus ain’t it. Woof! No make up is better than make up by James Charles unless it’s Halloween.

Letitia Wright’s Controversy

Letitia Wright is the young British actress that earned her place in the spotlight as Shuri in the 2018 film “Black Panther” where she played the precocious and tech savvy little sister of the title character. I am very impressed with Miss Wright as an individual and I think she’s one of the brightest stars of young Hollywood.

Letitia Wright is well spoken, lady like and fashionable. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I use to follow her on Instagram and she often shared thoughts about her Christian faith. I think she is great and it’s wonderful to see a young Black woman, especially one that looks like she has two Black parents and four Black grandparents prosper.

Last week Twitter got upset with Letitia because she shared a video with an anti vaccine message. I didn’t watch the video but it sounds pretty wacky and scatterbrained. I don’t know why people are wanting to cancel Letitia Wright because a lot of people seem to be apprehensive about the COVID 19 vaccine.

This is yet another example of the narrow margin society gives Black women to exist within. The world doesn’t want to see Black women move with autonomy. We are expected to have our actions and opinions dictated to us so we can be used as tools that service others.

Letitia Wright didn’t stick to the script given to Black women and she was heavily criticized for it. I’m not in favor of what seem to be her views but Letitia is entitled to her view point. She didn’t deserve to be belittled, called stupid and threatened with the end of her career.

Letitia apologized for posting the controversial video and deactivated her Twitter account. It’s amazing how much grace some are shown while Black women are shown very little. The more visible African ancestry a Black woman has the less grace she is given.

Marvel Actor Letitia Wright Apologises After Sharing Vaccine Doubter Video (tyla.com)

I wasn’t a huge Black Panther fan but I admire Letitia Wright a great deal. She is a breath of fresh air in Hollywood. It’s great to see a young Black woman present herself with pride, maturity and modesty as opposed to being a loud mouthed bimbo fabricated by a surgeon.

Despite Letitia Wright’s gifts she’s still being silenced for having an opinion on a controversial matter. I guess it would be easier for the public to accept her if she was dating Future, rapping about selling her body for cash and gifts or discussing her wet ass pussy.

I would support Letitia if she expressed herself in a sexual way as well. Black women are entitled to be individuals with personalities that guide their own opinions and actions. We should not require permission to express ourselves. Black women should be given the same amount of grace and room for growth that others receive.

Lockdown Reviews: A Father First, How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball

During the COVID 19 Lockdown I read the biography A Father First, How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball by retired NBA star Dwyane Wade.  The book was published in 2012.  It tells the story of Dwyane’s life while focussing on his relationship with his boys.  He is the father of two sons and he also raised his nephew who needed a home.

For the most part I enjoyed A Father First.  The book is a bit slow moving in parts but it was interesting and touching at other times.  I am an NBA fan and I followed Dwyane’s career for year but I didn’t know much about him personally.  Dwyane lived with his three sisters, two of which were from his mother’s previous relationships, his mom and his dad.  He was the baby of the family.

Wade stated that his family was far from wealthy but when his parents were together his life had stability and the family had what they needed even thought their lives were modest.  His parents, Dwyane and Jolinda, divorced when Wade was a young boy.  His mother admitted that the split was due to her controlling ways.  Everything changed for Dwyane and his sisters after the break up.

Dwyane didn’t see his father often.  His two older sister went to live with friends or other relatives.  Dwyane and his younger sister remained with his mother who developed a serious drug habit.  She had abusive relationships with men after her divorce.  His mother’s boyfriends were involved with drug trafficking and Chicago PD raided his home.  Young Dwyane Wade often went hungry.  His childhood trials made him decide as a young boy that if he became a father that he would be devoted, responsible and loyal.

Dwyane’s grandmother was the matriarch of his large extended family.  Dwyane had a lot of respect for his grandmother and she was always available to offer help.  He and his sister didn’t always seek her help because they didn’t want anyone to know about their mother’s struggle.

Wade went to live with his father, stepmother and brothers when he was in upper elementary school and his life improved.  His sister who he was closest with was not taken in by the dad.  His father and stepmother had another baby, a girl.  While living with his dad sports became a big part of Dwyane’s life.  His dad was his first coach and his brothers were his competitors.

He had a growth spurt in high school and it got the attention of coaches and recruiters.  Dwyane later went to Marquette University.  While he was a student he married his high school sweetheart and became a first time father.  He and his wife had a rocky marriage and later a terribly dramatic divorce after being drafted into the NBA by the Miami Heat and having another baby.

Jolinda had a religious epiphany while she was a fugitive of the law.  She turned herself in to serve her time.  While she was in prison she became free of her drug habit and studied her Bible.  She started a storefront church once she was a free woman and her son later bought her a church with his NBA fortune.  The other details of the book were about his college and NBA career.  I skimmed through those pages because neither were very interesting to me.

I would recommend the book if you’re an NBA fan.  The book can be a bit dry but it kind of mirrors Dwyane’s personality.  He’s never come across as very dramatic or talkative.  Jolinda’s story is inspiring even though I resented her for the way her children suffered due to her shortcoming.  Dwyane’s decision to be a committed family man at a young age is also inspirational.  It’s a good read if you have the time.

The Feminist Nonsense Continues: Lizzo at the Lakers Game

I’m not even sure where to start with this.  In case you haven’t heard I’ll recap the insanity.  Pop star Lizzo went to a Lakers game in a loose T shirt dress with a cut out at the behind which exposed her bare cheeks and black thong.  During the game Lizzo was put on the jumbotron and she did a little dance.  It was cute but then she turned around so the camera can get a look at her bare butt cheeks and thong while she continued to dance.

I was appalled by it but there’s a lot of shocking things going on in the world today.  I was prepared to file this away and move forward.  But then Lizzo and her dress with the butt cut out became a trending topic and Lizzo went on a rant on IG.  And here is where the problem starts for me.  Lizzo is quoted as saying “if you don’t like my a$$ you can kiss it”.  We weren’t thinking about her a$$ until she showed it to us.

The so called #bodypositive rant is what made this incident a feminist and “woke” talking point on You Tube this week.  Lizzo is a #bodypositivity ambassador and the body positivity movement rubs me the wrong way.  I’ve seen #bodypositivity posts all over Instagram and they come across as a manipulative scam.

#bodypositivity is a way to get women out of their clothes.  #bodyposi convinces women that they have to take off their clothes in order to prove that they love their bodies and are confident women.  The #bodyposi community believes that bearing it all is a way to conquer insecurities.

The #bodypositivity movement really has very little to do with confidence and being happy with yourself.  It has more to do with seeking attention and validation.  I have more respect for #thirsttrapthursday posts.  At least they are completely honest in their intentions and they aren’t fake woke.

The #bodypositivity and modern feminist movement is telling women that they should seek to be lusted after.  Modern feminism and #bodypositivity are not seeking to have women valued as a human beings and individuals.  The focus on a woman’s body and not anything else she can offer the world.

Lizzo is beautiful, talented, energetic and charismatic.  I wouldn’t have noticed that she is heavy without her pointing it out.   Her size and feminist activism is part of her brand despite the fact that she is a well trained classical flutist and rapper (what a combination) with a great stage presence.  Lizzo has a great deal to offer the world but instead she chooses to focus on a$$.

She is selling herself short and the image that she puts out of herself is cartoonish.  I feel like she is living up to stereotypes about larger women, particularly large Black women.  Lizzo claims to be standing up for women that don’t have slim bodies but she presents full figure in unflattering ways when it would be very easy for her to project a stylish image.  She has the goods and resources to do so.

I’m curious about what Lizzo was expecting when she turned her bare backside to the jumbotron camera.  Was she expecting a round of applause?  She received criticism from showing her thonged behind in public (shocker) and then she went into victim mode and told everyone that they were criticizing her because she is big and Black.  She didn’t take into consideration that her actions would be seen as uncouth to some if not most people.

But Lizzo isn’t the biggest problem.  The biggest problem are the social media feminists.  They say that the world was trying to police her body because she is a Black with a lot of meat.  She could have worn almost anything without criticism but she chose something that she knew would be controversial.  Those of us that find her taste and behavior to be questionable are now being made out to be bigots and chauvinists.  This is emotional blackmail.

It’s not our job to validate every person when they do things for shock value or out of desperation.  And we don’t have to give positive reinforcement to Hollyweird and rich n word culture.  This Lizzo situation is almost a real life version of The Emperor’s New Clothes.  

Lizzo could do a lot to represent full figured women by just being the talented and beautiful woman that she is but she’s wasting this opportunity with her shenanigans.  I do not think that the activism that she is becoming known for will sustain her career as a musician.  If no one’s told Lizzo this, you’re pretty and talented.  You don’t need to pull childish pranks.

 

Miss Universe 2019: The Also Competed(s)

Congratulations to Zozibini Tunzi of South Africa, the new Miss Universe.  I follow a lot of pageant pages on IG and I knew she was a contender the entire time.  Miss South Africa looked different from the other contestants.  Women in pageants tend to all look alike regardless of race but Zozibini had a look that made her stand out.

I’ve been looking at the media coverage and social media buzz about the new Miss Universe but I cringe at the notion that she isn’t a conventional beauty.  She definitely is.  She’s tall, slender, feminine, delicate and has a soft but determined spirit.  She just styled herself with straightening her hair or wearing prosthetic hair.  She bet on herself as a purely natural African woman and won.  Good for her.

miss universe

But this post is about my favorite contestants that competed but did not win first, second or third place.  These are in no particular order.

Miss Zambia

miss zambia

Miss Zambia showed up late to the Miss Universe pageant and was not able to compete in the pageant.  I was watching other contestants go through registrations and she completely missed the process.  A fan said on her IG that she had visa and financial problems.  But Miss Zambia herself did not confirm or deny that statement.  She never gave an explanation as to why she was late.

Her predicament must have been heartbreaking and humiliating but she took it in stride.  She decided to stick around and support the other contestants anyway.  She seemed very happy to be in Atlanta.  I would have privately melted down and my IG would have gone dark.  Other fans said that she can compete next year.  Miss Zambia didn’t confirm or deny that either.  She just continued taking pictures of her vacation.  It looks like she had a nice time.

Miss France

Miss France 2

Miss France is another trooper.  She fell during the swimsuit competition in the preliminaries.  It wasn’t her fault that she fell because she was one of about five contestants that couldn’t stay on their feet on that stage.  But Miss France took the tumble like a champ.  The way she reacted to the situation endeared her to my heart and I wanted to see her succeed in the pageant.  Even before the fall she was one of my favorites.  I love red hair and I like her hair cut.

 

Miss Portugal

Miss Portugal

Miss Portugal was in the top twenty of the pageant and I wasn’t aware of her until I saw her interview after the first cut.  She has a smile that lights up a room and an effervescent personality.  She seems simple and uncomplicated and I love it.  She doesn’t come across as “woke” at all and it was refreshing.  She’s twenty, sweet and pretty and that was enough to make her a finalist in the Miss Universe contest.  That’s how life works and I appreciate her contribution to the pageant.  She looked like she was having the time of her life.

Miss Japan

miss japan

My impression of Miss Japan is the polar opposite of my impression of Miss Portugal.  Miss Japan seems dark and mysterious.  There are a lot of pictures of her not smiling on her IG.  I don’t think a beauty queen has to be Little Miss Sunshine all the time.  She doesn’t have the typical pageant look at all.  Miss Japan had the most high fashion look in the entire pageant.  I love her long straight hair and blunt bangs.  She also looks like she enjoys expensive things and places.  I think she’s a great role model for women globally.  Take a look at her Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/missuniversejapan/?hl=en

 

Miss Uruguay

Uruguay

I honestly just like the haircut.  I love a good bob and this hairstyle has a lot of volume.  My formative years were spent in the 1980s and this is borderline 80s hair.  This bob definitely made her stand out.  Miss Uruguay has my support.

Miss Haiti

Haiti

I can’t put my finger on it but there is something quirky about Miss Haiti.  I love quirky Black women.  There was a time when quirky Black girls were a presence in popular culture and the world was a better place then.  I need to make a blog post about it but I digress.  She has a interesting personality, great hair and her Carnivale themed national costume was beautiful.  Contestants from the Caribbean usually knock the national costume competition out of the box.

Congratulations to all the young ladies that competed in Miss Universe 2019 particularly Miss South Africa  Zozibini Tunzi.  They are a diverse group of inspirational women and they are all fantastic.

 

TI’s Hymen Test is Indicative of the way the World Seeks to Control Black Female Sexuality

Recently rapper TI remarked on a podcast that he took his daughter to a gynecologist yearly and had the doctor check to ensure her hymen was still intact.  This is supposed to prove that the eighteen year old girl has never had sex.  All families operate differently and what is peculiar to one family may be acceptable in another.

I found TI’s admission to be a bit Taliban like and I was shocked that he was so comfortable telling the world about this daddy daughter tradition.  But TI has shot his mouth off several times in 2019.  As far as I’m concerned his daughter has joined a list of people and entities to whom TI owes an apology.

In my opinion there is more power for women in modest dress and morals.  But if a woman decides differently for herself I am no one to tell her differently.  An adult person has the right to choose what to do with their body.  I certainly don’t blame a parent for advising a young adult child to abstain from sex.  I would do the same if I was the parent of an eighteen year old son or daughter.

But to try an enforce abstinence with an iron fist implies that you are uncomfortable with that person’s sexuality.  It’s as if the enforcer sees sex as an inherently unclean and harmful act.  And here is the bottom line.  Overall, Black Americans and the world at large view Black female sexuality as nefarious and dirty.  Most people do not have a healthy view of Black female sexuality.  That even includes Black women and men.  Many Black men of Generation X and younger may have negative views of Black women and sexuality.  Being a hip hop star doesn’t make one exempt.

Just look at the music that many Black artists, particularly rappers such as TI have produced over the last thirty years or so.  Much of it is based on cheap sex, where the woman is not valued and the men seem resent the women.  R & B as a genre has slowly been phased out of popular music so it’s rare to hear songs about sweet romances and healthy sexual experiences anymore.  What we are left with are tunes based on casual sexual experiences and the bitterness and anger that often accompanies them.

Black Americans are heavily influenced by mainstream American culture which always seeks to affirm White righteousness.  These attitudes do nothing to benefit Black people but many of us absorb and admire the dominant culture around us.  Many of us are desperately trying to assimilate to a culture that makes us the butt of jokes and places us at a disadvantage.

It is pretty unusual for Hollywood to cast a Black woman as a romantic lead or to address Black female sexuality and romantic relationships at all.  Black women are typically presented as matronly, undesirable and asexual by Hollywood.  Image makers know what they are doing when they place certain consistent messages before their audience.  Hollywood and the media seeks to neuter Black women.

I’ll point out that when the entertainment business does address Black, female heterosexuality the Black woman is usually presented as desperate and her desperation or failure at relationships is comic relief or fuel for a story line about her suffering.  It is very rare to see a Black woman, that looks like a woman with two Black parents in a loving, stable relationship in the media.

Black women, particularly those with dark skin and kinky hair are fed a steady stream of negativity about what they look like through the media and often personal interactions.  I believe that this is a deliberate attempt to control Black female heterosexual activity.  It’s the ultimate c—block.  There are many within the Black community that are in on the act.

Undoubtedly, TI has taken advantage of and abused (I don’t mean criminally.  I have a broader definition of abuse.  What many call normal sexual behavior in the modern era I think of as abusive.) numerous women.  Because of his own behavior he now has an unhealthy view of female sexuality.  TI doesn’t even seem to have a respectful relationship with his own wife.

TI and daughter

He doesn’t want his daughter to be taken for granted, abused, used and discarded.  He doesn’t want his daughter to be treated like a human blow up doll.  He doesn’t want his daughter to be thought of as a piece of flesh that exists for a man’s pleasure.  He doesn’t want his daughter manipulated, mislead or lied to in order for a man to gain access to her body.  TI has probably engaged in all of this type of reckless behavior which has given him a negative view of female sexuality.

Safety, comfort, acceptance and trust are what set the mood for a woman to have a healthy sexual relationship with a man.  These conditions are what give women the freedom to express themselves sexually.  Unfortunately, Black women are not offered these conditions and this freedom as often as women of other communities.  So sex as it relates to Black women often comes with negative connotations instead of romantic, pleasurable, affirming ones.

People seek to control acts that they see as nefarious and vile.  Black, female, heterosexual behavior is seen as unwholesome and dirty under the global system of White supremacy.  Therefore, it is seen as something that needs to be monitored and controlled with no thought to the well being of Black women.