What do Feminists Want?

I don’t understand feminism.  Are they asking for equality or chivalry?  You can’t have both.  You can not ask the world to ignore all of the differences between men and women and then be asked to be treated with kid gloves because you are a woman.  There are two examples of women being asked to be treated with kid gloves in the modern feminist world.

Bella Thorne recently went on a tearful rant against Whoopi Goldberg because Whoopi suggested that she not take nude pictures of herself and store them in a cloud.  Bella took nude pictures of herself to send to her boyfriend.  Once she discovered that her information had been hacked and the nudes were stolen she decided to release the photo herself.  The incident was discussed on “The View” and Whoopi told her to protect herself by not taking nudes.

bella thorne and whoopi goldberg

Bella then takes to Instagram to tell Whoopi that she should be ashamed of herself for telling Bella that there are consequences for actions and she can’t naively do whatever she wants and expect everyone in the world to be honorable.  Watch.

Bella’s IG post had a feminist under tone to it.  She felt that Whoopi should be ashamed because of how young women will be affected by her comments.  Feminism tells women to be bold and adventurous enough to take nude photos to transmit and store electronically but if your security is breached you should make yourself out to be a victim.  I would imagine that if you’re bold enough to take nudes in 2019 you’re probably no shrinking violet.

There is always the possibility of the file being stolen from Bella or the boyfriend.  And if Bella breaks up with the boyfriend he could share the picture with God knows who.  I kind of figured that people that sent nudes in 2019 didn’t really care where the photos ended up.  There are dozens and dozens of cautionary tales out there about the consequences of nudes ending up in the wrong hands.  Whoopi was just giving Bella some pretty sound advice.  Make the man wait until you are together again and when you’re apart he’ll have sweet memories.

I want to start by saying I can’t stand Lavar Ball.  I don’t know why we even know who he is because all he is is a stage parent and it doesn’t even seem to me that his boys are setting the NBA on fire.  But for some reason the sports media eats him up.  I don’t get it.  Lavar was being interviewed on ESPN by a sports journalist by the name of Molly Qerim.  She said that she wanted to switch gears in the conversation and Lavar said he would switch gears with her any day.  Ms. Qerim thought that the comment had sexual undertones.  Watch.

Good grief what a prude.  I don’t know how someone equates this with sexual harassment.  If you’re not familiar with Lavar Ball he’s not shy, he likes the spotlight and he speaks his mind.  He probably does have a flirtatious personality but I don’t think that a cutesy flirtatious remark necessarily equals harassment or an unbearable work environment.  Is Molly saying that she was afraid for her safety because of that remark?  If so she should stay home and be a housewife.

Lavar has been banned from ESPN.  I honestly don’t care because he shouldn’t have been on there so much anyway.  But I don’t think he should have been banned for this.  He should have been banned because he isn’t employed by the NBA and is one of these new kind of celebrities that is famous for absolutely no reason.

I had never heard of Molly Qerim before this but she has undoubtedly been influenced by the Me Too movement.  Why else would she be so sensitive to that remark?  She was in no danger because she and Lavar were not even in the same room.

Let’s be honest sports fans.  Most of those women of the sports shows are ornaments and there is no way that they don’t know that.  The women fit a very narrow beauty standard and most of them don’t say much.  They are there to look pretty and facilitate conversations between men.  They are similar to Price is Right models.

Their presence is sexist and demeaning to women because we all know that there are women that know a lot about sports but they may be bigger than a size 4.  My mom could do a good job as an anchor on ESPN because she is pretty darn knowledgeable when it comes to sports and she analyzes games pretty well.  But she is seventy three with two artificial hips and a bad back.  She’s not eye candy for the mostly male audience which is the true job of women on sports channels.

I want to give an honorable mention to Josina Anderson who is smart as a whip and knows what she is talking about.  And the red head that comes on the NBA show isn’t bad either and she’s quite likeable.  I think her name is Samantha.  And we can’t forget the OG Hannah Storm.

So these women that work on these sports channels benefit from sexism and they don’t mind playing into it for a paycheck but the minute a man that is known to be a smart alek makes a cheeky remark they make a complaint with HR and act as if they have been damaged.  It makes no sense to me.  Toughen up girls.  And if Molly thought Lavar’s remark was disrespectful she should have spoke up for herself in the moment.  That seems like the action of an empowered person as opposed to asking someone else to stand up for you because you are such a delicate and meek flower.

Anyway, I just wish feminism would make up it’s mind about it’s identity.  Do you want protection and chivalry or are you as tough as any man?  You can’t claim both identities and claim to be a coherent adult.  Feminists are delusional.

Amendment:

I forgot about the Cuba Gooding Jr. incident.  The Cuba Gooding Jr. groping incident is easy to forget about because it was a bunch of nonsense.  There is a boring and confusing video which confirms that the allegations of groping were a bunch of nonsense.  Watch.

 

After I watched this video for the first time my initial reaction was “What the heck did I just watch?”, because I didn’t see anything happen other than a bunch of people socializing and flirting at a bar.  Cuba put his hand on her knee during the video but I don’t know the nature of their relationship so I don’t know that that was an inappropriate touch.  The woman claimed that her breasts were groped but I didn’t see that happen.  Perhaps he brushed her chest with his hand but I didn’t see that either.

I could understand how a woman from the Jane Austen era could be very offended and upset if she was transplanted into a happy hour in an urban setting and a man brushed against her breasts even accidentally.  Those women had expectations of men and upheld feminine standards.  Women could have that kind of society if that’s what they wanted because women set the standards and make the rules.  But women have decided that they want to be thought of as independent women that are completely in charge of their bodies and sexuality and can speak up for themselves.

But evidently they can’t.  None of the situations in this post are about rape.  The Cuba Gooding incident isn’t even about sexual assault because he has been arrested, released with no charges filed.  Bella Thorne wasn’t as angry with the person that stole her images as she was Whoopi Goldberg who gave her opinion on a matter that Bella made public.  All of these women claimed to be victims after they were simply criticized, made uncomfortable or perhaps a man brushed against her.  And now they want people arrested and kicked off TV and such because they felt dishonored.

Oh but wait, I thought that women didn’t want their femininity honored.  Obviously they do but there is give and take.  A lot of modern women just want to take.  That’s what feminists want.  I’ve answered my own question.

Black Social Media: Help or Hindrance

I am Black and a bit of a social media junkie. Social media outlets have pretty much figured out that I’m Black and they suggest pages, channels, people, places and things that other Black people frequent. I follow them as do others in my demographic. It creates little virtual communities and there you have it, the Black social media sphere. It has been fun, entertaining, and educational in good ways and bad. Black social media can be a useful and entertaining tool. But it can be very toxic.

I’ll start off by saying that Black people are not given enough credit for being so witty and creative. When I was a big Facebook and Twitter user my brothers and sisters would absolutely have me cracking up with their unique takes on various hashtags. Some social media users reminded me of the glory days of hip hop when being a little street or ghetto or whatever you call was meshed with intelligence and insight. We don’t get to see that much in the media anymore. I miss it.

Black social media users have also brought attention to injustices in America such as police brutality and racism in common places. Cell phone video and social media has given justice to many Black people that never would have gotten it otherwise. I think that is wonderful and heroic.

But I’ve decided to not follow a lot of Black social media pages due to the nature of the speaker or his or her followers. I blocked The Shade Room on IG years ago and my quality of life immediately improved. I stopped following the 1990s rapper David Banner because I got tired of being a defender of the faith. I blocked The Amazing Lucas on You Tube because he is trying a little too hard to prove that he is a conservative Black man. It’s sad to watch a Black man pander to people that way.

It’s difficult to build a social media following unless you already have some sort of claim to fame, an amazing talent or you fit a particular beauty standard and decide to flaunt your body for the sake social media popularity. I’m guessing that it may even be more difficult for non celebrity Black people to build a large following because I rarely see Black people discussing things that wouldn’t be considered a Black interest on social media. I’ve figured that the best way for Black people to gain a social media following is by being controversial within the on line Black community.

I think Black men have it the hardest in the social media world. It’s a little harder for them to find their social media niche. Many Black women and feminine Black men have gained social media notoriety by creating celebrity gossip outlets, make up and hair tutorials.

But I don’t see many Black men creating channels that aren’t about dissecting matters in the Black community. It seems to me that the easiest way for a Black man to gain a large social media following is by talking about such matters and blaming Black women for them. Some of the most successful Black You Tubers that I’m aware of are men that think that Black women are solely responsible for every single problem in the Black community. Like, seriously every – single – one. The mental gymnastics these guys do is impressive. Actually buying into it is a personality disorder of some sort.

I’ve never followed members of the He Man’s Woman Haters Club but men that follow these ideologies show up in the comment sections of other vlogs such as gossip channels or a channel that is talking about current events to a Black audience. They drop nasty remarks about Black women’s appearances, marital status, “attitude” or whatever. They even put Black women down for going to college and pursuing careers. I would like to think that most of these remarks are coming from trolls in Moscow but I know my people and this can’t all be blamed on the Russians.

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It’s like some of these guys (to be fair, I’ve had Black women make rude remarks about my appearance, especially my hair as well) know that Black women are trying to avoid them so they come to where we are in order to insult us in some way. I’ve made what I thought was an innocuous comment and have had my personal appearance attacked by my fellow social media users. People like that are usually hiding behind an anonymous profile so I can’t be sure of who they are but I’m guessing a lot of the insults based on skin color and hair texture are coming from people with similar skin color and hair texture.

After degrading Black women these gentlemen go on to put fairer skinned women on a pedestal. I don’t understand why they didn’t do that in the first place and just left us out of it. No one needs to justify their dating and marriage choices to anyone. And you shouldn’t have to put someone else down in order to express your love for someone else. Black women return the vitriol. They too have set up channels and make comments tearing Black men apart. There is no way to have a community if men and women hate each other.

Another topic that’s caught a lot of traction on Black social media is “woke” Black people telling Black Christians to stop believing in Christ. I had to block the 90s rapper David Banner for this reason. People like him are arrogant and patronizing and always use the same two or three reasons to justify their opinions.

Their reasoning displays their ignorance about the Bible, geography, human history. This “woke”, afrocentric community are the ones that believe in a White, European Jesus. Not those of us with the understanding that Bethlehem isn’t in Europe. Once again, all they need to do is follow their heart. There is absolutely no need to degrade someone else in order to justify a personal choice. Leave us out of your personal choices and I’ll leave you out of mine.

I ran across a You Tuber named The Amazing Lucas one day and I decided to follow him. After watching a few of his videos I blocked him. I don’t need anymore of his videos. He’s a young Black man that would probably describe himself as being conservative. But after a while I guess he had to work harder to prove himself.

He’s too emotional about things that aren’t that big of a deal such as the political opinions of NBA players that he’s never even heard of. Lucas is of the belief that racism is all a figment of Black America’s imagination which I find to be a very condescending and delusional view point. The Amazing Lucas doesn’t seem to understand that racism is an economic and sociological matter.

I don’t know who runs The Shade Room but they are a horrible human being and their followers are complete morons. It’s hard to find a dumber group of people on social media than what you would find on that IG page. I blocked them a long time ago because they were on there making fun of Simone Biles body. That’s right. They body shamed a world class athlete.

People that enjoy The Shade Room only like women that look like strippers. It’s all they care about or respect. They absolutely love people from the Love and Hip Hop Series and various young rappers that I’ve never heard of. But they trash an Olympic champion because she’s not so called slim thick. They trashed Gabrielle Douglas as well. I believe they came for her because she mentioned something about women should dress modestly and they went berserk. I don’t share the values of most people in The Shade Room so I had to block them.

The death and funeral of rapper Nipsey Hustle and the trials and tribulations of TV personality Wendy Williams have dominated Black social media the last few weeks. Meanwhile three Black churches in Louisiana burned mysteriously and the son of a police officer was arrested for the crimes.

I was on a You Tube channel yesterday that fashions itself after a news broadcast. The host discussed the church fires and people in the comments section were talking about their disdain for Christianity, especially Black Christians. They are clearly missing the point. But if they are that stupid why bother talking to them. I blocked the channel. I think we need to shift our values a bit. Our community suffered a terrorist attack and

I understand that the death of Nipsey Hustle is yet another urban violent tragedy but last weekend six were shot at a baby shower in Chicago. I haven’t heard Black social media say a word about that. I didn’t know who Nipsey Hustle was until he died so his death is no different than all the other murders that happen in the Black community.

I think that we should use the powerful medium of social media to discuss that to the point of beating a dead horse like we do stupid topics like fake hair, inter racial dating and twerking. And men that are obsessed with women that they don’t like need to be the ones doing the talking instead of blaming everything on single mothers.

I wish that Black social media communities would just stop trying to tell others in their community what to do. Stop thinking you know what’s best for someone else. If we all do our part, Christians, Israelites, Agnostics, LGBT, feminists, etc. we can all make improvements to build a better future for everyone. But this intra racial at least snarkiness and at most hatred should stop. We need to learn to respect each other more. I don’t feel like Black people appreciate our differences.

Some of these conversations that take place have been going on for years and we have come to no conclusion or made no progress. They are trivial matters anyway so we should just move forward. I think there are a few things we should be able to agree on such as if you’re mad at someone you shouldn’t shoot up their baby shower and let’s discuss those matters. The rest of if is all just drivel and a huge waste of time and I refuse to participate in it anymore.

RIP Luke Perry

Yesterday the world lost 90s teen idol Luke Perry.  He became famous in the early 90s because of his role on the legendary teen soap opera “Beverly Hills 90210”.  Legendary is not an exaggeration.  At least not for me.  There has never been anything like “90210” and there will never be anything like that again.

The main reason there will never be anything like “90210” is because I’ll never be sixteen again.  Once you live past your teen aged years I don’t think that it’s possible to focus that type of energy on a TV program and fictional characters.  There’s that and Luke Perry’s rise to fame occurred in a bygone era.

Picture this:

The year is 1991.  The place is suburban Detroit, Michigan.  It’s Tuesday night.  In about twenty four hours the favorite show of me and all of my peers is going to air.  The countdown is now a matter of hours and not days.  The next day in school I look up at classroom wall clocks during the day.  I’m counting down the hours to when “90210” came on.  It was on the tip of our tongues and the forefront of all of our little early 90s, teen minds.

School is out.  YES!  It won’t be much longer.  It’s just a few hours more.  I just needed to get through dinner and probably some homework and then it would be time to see what happened next in lives of privileged, attractive (even the homely one was kind of cute) White teenagers that live under perpetually sunny skies.

I remember that “Entertainment Tonight” came on at 7:30PM.  My girlfriends, two other Midwestern, suburban, Black girls, would be on the phone talking to each other by that time on a three way call.  That’s how we had conferences about TV broadcasts before the social media aged.  We would get so excited when the closing credits to “Entertainment Tonight” started to roll.  It was now just a matter of minutes before the main event.

And then it began:

 

When the first few notes of the “90210” theme song came through my floor model TV set my heart skipped a beat.  My friends and I created a short cacophony of squeals and heavily breathing the word YESSSSS into land line phones! We excitedly chatted during the commercials.  Once the show began we held the phone in silence until the next commercial break.

“Beverly Hills 90210” was good stuff.  We followed the love story between Brenda and bad boy Dylan.  I can’t remember if Dylan went to school or not.  I think I remember him going to the prom but I don’t remember him being in class.  The love triangle between Brenda, Dylan and Kelly was absolutely riveting.  And the sweet story of David protecting Donna’s honor melted our hearts.

The show was also educational.  I learned where Baja was because of Dylan McKay.  My friends and I looked that up because we wanted to know where on the Earth Dylan went on his solitary surf vacations.  To this day I think of Dylan whenever I hear the name Baja.  We didn’t use the internet then so I don’t know how we looked it up.  I’m assuming we found Baja on a globe at school or we used an encyclopedia.

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“90210” was absolutely epic.  I don’t even think kids today can relate to anything like 9021 mania because they are growing up with on demand entertainment like Netflix and YouTube.  Back in my day we just had to eagerly await new episodes and new seasons of our favorite shows.  It caused mild hysteria.

Anyhow, RIP Luke Perry.  I’m getting a little emotional writing this post.  Thank you for the memories.  There will never be anyone else like him because times change and people change.  Looking back at it the show was very corny and I don’t think that today’s teenagers would accept “90210” as entertainment.  There would surely be complaints that the show was elitist and lacked diversity.  But I loved it and I’m grateful to have grown up in what pretty much amounts to the Victorian era.  Thanks for the memories.

 

Happy Birthday Naomi Campbell

Happy belated birthday to Naomi Campbell.  The hardest working woman in fashion turned forty eight on May 22.  Naomi is from the era of the super models and hasn’t slowed down since the 1990s.  Naomi has challenged beauty standards in the fashion industry for decades and continues to do so as she nears fifty.  Naomi Campbell has been a hero of mine for many years.

I remember the first time I ever saw Naomi Campbell.  She was doing a seductive dance in Michael Jackson’s “Keep it in the Closet” video.  She was an absolute sensation in my middle school suburban Detroit social circle at the time.  Me and my young girlfriends were fascinated by this dark skinned exotic beauty and her waist length hair.  There was some debate among us whether the hair was real or not.  I was on team weave but it didn’t even matter.  I loved that woman.

She was a stunning Black woman with African features. Her contemporaries were Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington and another favorite of mine Tyra Banks.  There had been successful Black models before but none as dark and lovely as Naomi at that time.

Some of you may be unaware that lighter skinned, European featured beauty is highly favored in the world.  Even in Black communities light skinned, straight haired looks are praised over dark skin and kinky hair.  I had childhood experiences that involved me being teased for being dark.  As an adult it’s been clear to me that most men prefer lighter, European women over African looking ones.  So it meant a lot to me as a young girl coming of age to see someone with dark features in the limelight.

Other models from the super model era have either retired or play different roles in the fashion industry now.  At forty eight years old Naomi is still working the runway better than anyone and I mean anyone.  Young models of the day can’t match her stage presence.  In April 2018 she was on the cover of “GQ” magazine.  Ms. Campbell shows no signs of slowing down.

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Naomi has a bad reputation.  She’s been accused of abusive behavior and has served time for her crime.  She paid her debt and hasn’t had any legal problems in years that I know of but I believe that Naomi is misunderstood.  It’s hard for Black women to stand up for themselves without being seen as being combative or aggressive.  Unfortunately, Black women, even tall and glamorous models are forced to defend and demand their worth themselves often in this world.  The world doesn’t just give people of African descent respect we quite often have to demand it.  I think Naomi may have just been demanding to get the respect she deserves.

Despite Naomi’s notorious temperament she seems very polite and gracious to me.  She doesn’t seem to take her lot in life for granted and she has worked very hard for all she has.  I also respect a person that is able to maintain long term friendships.  Friendship is under appreciated in this world and Naomi is still friends with some of her modeling colleagues from the 90s like Cindy Crawford and Linda Evangelista.  I respect and admire people that maintain long lasting friendships.  She also has a long term relationship with P. Diddy that I find to be, well, intriguing.

Happy belated 48th birthday to Naomi Campbell.  The diva, queen of the catwalk, hardest working woman in fashion, muse and one of my personal heroes and an inspiration to millions.

 

 

 

Curtis Granderson: the Great Unifier

Absolutely anything can turn into an argument on social media.  The most innocuous comment can draw a sharp tongued response from a fellow social media user with a chip on their shoulder.  We can’t agree on anything these days.  America is sharply divided by ideology: Democrat, Republican, faithful, Atheist, does pineapple belong on pizza or not, who do you hate more the Patriots or the Cowboys?  In this day and age we have a hard time respectfully allowing others to have an opinion without passing judgement on their character.  I do it too.

But I’ve noticed that there is one subject everyone agrees on: Curtis Granderson. No one ever says anything bad about him.  Like never, ever.  All of the social media comments that I’ve seen about Curtis have been admirable.  That’s an incredible accomplishment in an environment where a picture of a cupcake or puppy can start an argument.

Curtis is the outfielder Curtis Granderson for the LA Dodgers.  I’ve followed his career since he played for my Detroit Tigers around ten years ago.  I’ve had a crush on the man since then.  He’s tall, athletic, Black, wealthy and absolutely charming with old fashioned manners.  You can tell he was raised by adult parents with common sense and morals that instilled good values in their son.  That’s rare.  The only person that compares is J.J. Watt who is the blonde, blue eyed NFL equivalent.

I think the secret to Curtis’ popularity is that we don’t know much about the man.  I’ve looked for information about the man’s personal life because I’ve been in love with him for like a decade but there isn’t much out there.  Other than a Wikipedia page, articles about his charity and stats Curtis Granderson is a mystery.  He has not given us anything to talk about or judge.  Instead of seeking attention he uses discretion.  Discretion is not appreciated much in this social media world of ours.

Anyway, God bless Curtis Granderson.  I’m still hoping the Royals will win the Wild Card and make it into the Pennant Race and make a good run for another World Series ring.  Honesly, it’s not looking great for the Royals so I will jump on the LA Dodgers bandwagon and cheer them on for a World Series ring.  Curtis deserves it.  He’s had an impressive career and is a more impressive human being.  Thank you Curtis Granderson for standing for class, tact and professionalism.  The world appreciates you.

Joel Osteen is a Victim of His Own Success

Earlier this week Hurricane Harvey his the Gulf Shore of Texas.  This storm has caused major damage and flooding to the city of Houston.  Harvey is being called a once in five hundred year storm.  After the hurricane weakened Houston received record rainfall.  Roads are impassable, homes are damaged and people have been displaced.

Houston is the home of televangelist Joel Osteen’s church.  The church was closed for the storm and upcoming services were cancelled.  Shortly after Harvey hit a young man went to Lakewood church and made a video which posed the question as to why the church was not open to the public.  It is unclear to me why the young man made the video.  I can’t tell if he was there seeking shelter or just there to complain.

The video circulated the internet and Twitter user spent the evening casting stones on Joel Osteen and his ministry.  The internet was mad that a church as prosperous as Lakewood was not open to serve the public during such a time.  They felt like it was hypocritical that the church would not be anxious to serve during a natural disaster and they were not buying that the church was flooded.

I think the criticism of Osteen and his church is unfair.  I am not a Joel Osteen fan and I don’t know much about his ministry.  But I think people need to give the man a break.  For goodness sakes he was in the same hurricane.  Do people think that the wealthy or pastors don’t get rained on?  Besides that churches are volunteer organizations.  All of those people were hit with a hurricane and flood.  So there may not have been adequate staff to serve anyone seeking refuge.

I also think it may have been unsafe to have a facility as large as Lakewood Church open during a big storm because it would draw a lot of traffic to it’s location.  It wouldn’t be wise to put a bunch of people on the roads when some roads are flooded.  There are logistics to be considered when trying to organize a relief effort.

I haven’t followed Osteen’s ministry over the years but from what I hear about him he is Christianity lite.  He’s all of the feel good, come as you are stuff and none of the discipline or fire and brimstone stuff which is pretty typical of modern American Christianity.  Modern Christianity treats Jesus Christ as if He were a genie in a bottle that is here to serve us.  When we are asked to served Him many of us think that the church is being too pushy and demanding.  If we are asked to discipline ourselves and be obedient many of us think that we are being controlled and that  our freedom is being restricted.

This is why I think Osteen is a victim of his own success.  It sounds to me like he preaches a self centered gospel that does not ask worshipper for a sacrifice.  That creates self centered Christians that feel that they need to be served by the church but the church shouldn’t ask service of the community.

And that’s what we’ve seen this week from people that have bashed Joel Osteen and Lakewood Church.  They instantly became angry when the community’s needs weren’t being met by this church but very few people asked what they could do to help the church.  No one asked it the pastor and his staff was OK.  The criticism was very self centered.

But I have to wonder if Osteen caused his own problem by preaching a gospel that is acceptable to the masses.  If churches are going to preach a me, me, me gospel be prepared to serve a demanding self focused congregation.