Winter Review: A Tale of Love and Desire

Last night I watched the 2021 film “A Tale of Love and Desire”. “A Tale of Love and Desire” is French with English subtitles. “A Tale of Love and Desire” is a modern romance. It’s not my favorite romance but I enjoyed the film. Unfortunately there aren’t many romances being made these day and I love a good romance. I recommend “A Tale of Love and Desire” if you enjoy foreign, artistic films.

The film is a love story of two students at the Sorbonne who meet on campus and fall in love. Ahmed is a French man from a first generation immigrant family from Algeria. Farah is a foreign exchange student from Tunisia. The pair are from a similar cultural background but have different and surprisingly different viewpoints. A Tale of Love and Desire makes subtly commentary about immigration, identity, racism, traditionalism, feminism and sexuality. It’s an intelligent and thoughtful film with youthful sex appeal. I enjoyed it and recommend it.

Winter Review: M3gan

My Spoiler Policy: If the media is old or based on a book it is fair game but I will still warn you of spoilers. M3gan is a new release that is currently in theaters so I will give my review with sparse details as to not spoiling the plot.

I saw M3gan over the weekend. I recommend the film and I enjoyed it more than I expected I would. M3gan is about a nine year old girl named Cady who moves in with her career oriented Aunt Gemma who lives along and is a designer at a toy company. Aunt Gemma gave Cady a robot named M3gan (Model 3 Generative Android) as a companion. M3gan is Gemma’s creation and a prototype for a mass production of M3gans at her toy company.

The underlying theme of M3gan is that technology undermines parental authority in modern times. Institutions also challenge parental influence. A child and her toy are the center of this movie but adults can see themselves in Cady and ponder how much they are attached to technology and influenced by it.

Social media facetiously debated who is better between Chucky and M3gan. I think the better comparison is between M3gan and T-1000 from T2. M3gan is not a result of paranormal activity, demonic possession or witchcraft. She is a piece of technology with a purpose. M3gan is an action film and an old fashioned slasher movie.

Violet McGraw does great work playing Cady. Ronny Chieng did a nice job playing David, Gemma’s terrible boss at the toy company. He gave Mr. Spacely vibes throughout the film. Two actresses play M3gan. They are very talented as well. I was surprised to find out humans brought the android to life. I kind of thought it was a robot or CGI technology.

https://people.com/movies/who-plays-m3gan-in-m3gan-movie/

M3gan is an entertaining and thoughtful film with relevant commentary on modern society. It’s well acted and a good action and slasher film. I think you’ll be entertained by it. It’s worth your time and money if you’re looking for something to see at the theater.

Little Girls in Horror Movies Dress How Girls Dressed in the 80s

Little girls in horror movies all dress like little girls from the 80s. That’s true even for upcoming releases like M3Gan . But why? I don’t think young girls have dressed like that for decades. I usually see young girls dressed in hoodies, jeans and leggings. You don’t see bows, mary janes, ankle socks and dresses a lot anymore. Why does feminine clothing for little girls give people the creeps?

I dunno. It’s just kind of unfortunate that an old fashioned visual of girlhood is presented as evil and destructive. My thinking could be dated but I like to think of young girls as sweet and innocent people who are vulnerable and in need of protection. Perhaps that’s why this horror movie trope works. But it’s worth it to question what these stories of creepy and evil young girlhood do to our perception of feminine youth and innocence. What does this imagery do to young girls?

The evil little girl film trope is not new but it is enduring. In films like “The Bad Seed” and “The Shining” the creepy little girls were typical looking little girls for that time. Young girls now commonly wear clothes that are unisex or mature. So I think the choice to style creepy girls, even if they are an AI robot, in traditional little girl clothing is a deliberate action. I’m likely over thinking this. But I consider myself to be a film scholar and critic. Let me know what you think. Do you think horror films about scary little girls that actually look like little girls have negative connotations and ramifications?

The George Lopez Show

Review: A Year of Biblical Womanhood

I recently read and listened to on audio a book called “A Year of Biblical Womanhood” by Rachel Held Evans. Mrs. Held Evans is a young, married woman with no children who describes herself as an Evangelical Christian and modern woman. She lived for a year under Old Testament law. The book was interesting if you want to learn more about the subject matter. “A Year of Biblical Womanhood” is well researched and informative.

Rachel’s experiment was interesting. She discussed submitting to her husband, focusing on domestic duties, covering her head and not cutting her hair for the year among other thing. I don’t feel like she came to any profound conclusions at the end of the year. She didn’t reveal anything that I found to be particularly enlightening. Rachel seemed glad the year was over. The book is a fine way to pass time and I learned a bit but it wasn’t very meaningful and memorable to me.

Black Women are Human and Humans aren’t Always Nice

Social media loves to harp on Black women that aren’t so sweet or come off as self serving. They will fixate on it for days. If a Black woman is snarky, mean, puts herself first or isn’t cheerleadery the public takes great offense to this and hopes for her downfall.

Black women are human and sometimes humans aren’t nice. All humans are different. If a Black woman isn’t super nice to you get over it. She doesn’t owe you anything anyway. People that you don’t know don’t owe you nice.

Men (all) are left to rape, steal, pillage and destroy. Some support their actions and make excuses for them. Non Black women often remain unscathed regardless of their words or actions because they are great at deflecting the matter or someone will stand up for them.

People insist that Black women be nurturing, supportive and sappily sweet at all times without fail. That expectation is exhausting. Who is doing all that for Black women? No one. The main people complaining about the women pictured above are other Black women. We all have that sweet and nurturing side to us. It’s reserved for who we want to share it with. It’s not for public consumption.

Black women aren’t being allowed a full range of personality traits the way others are. Black women aren’t being allowed to be human. It’s as if Black women can only exist within a very narrow range. Give people space space to be who they are. If you don’t like them give them enough space that you don’t see or hear from them. It’s that simple.

I’m not advocating being mean, haughty or arrogant. I’m just bringing attention to a double standard. All of these men have made careers by being blunt, direct, rude, mean, selfish and greedy. They are admired for it and their nastiness or gruff personality alone is what made them successful. Trump was elected president for being “politically incorrect” in other words rude.

Ironically, social media pundits that are critical of snarky Black women absolutely love Black women who are mean violent and clown themselves on reality TV and fight videos. They eat it up with a spoon. But if a Black woman in a position of authority or leadership acts like she’s in charge she’s seen as problematic.

I’m not advocating being a nasty person with poor manners. I have taken issue with Tyra and Wendy. Aretha was clearly a diva. Anyone speaking from a pulpit needs to choose their words carefully. But stop thinking every Black woman owes you nice all the time. It’s as if people want Black women to earn acceptance that they would freely give others. Black women are human and humans are not always likeable and nice but be fair.

Here’s What’s Missing from Cam’s Argument

Cam Newton made public statements recently that have been heavily criticized. Cam said that a woman’s purpose is to cater to her man. Fine. That’s great, especially if a woman can land a man with Cam Newton’s kind of money.

But there were some things missing from his statement. What’s missing is the man’s role. What did the man do to deserve having a woman cater to him. In the case of Cam Newton and his public relationships he didn’t seem to offer love, loyalty, devotion, respect or honor.

Cam Newton didn’t marry Kia Proctor, the mother of his first four children. They had a relationship for around five years. He didn’t marry IG model La Reina Shaw, the mother of his youngest child either. I’m unsure of the state of the relationship between La Reina and Cameron but they don’t seem to be a couple.

Kia is thirty three and an unmarried mom of five. She has a daughter from a relationship before she met Cam Newton and she has four with Cam. What did she really get from that relationship? She spent the prime years of her youth catering to Cameron and having his children.

If Cam was devoted to Kia and their family unit he would be worth catering to particularly since he’s wealthy. But that was not the case. Cam said the relationship changed over time and he became a different person over the years. It’s clear that maintaining their family unit and raising the children in a traditional home was not a priority for Cameron. I’m sure Kia catered to Cam. What did that get her?

Kia got older and preoccupied with motherhood. She was no longer the DC stripper that charmed her way into the NFL quarterback’s heart. I certainly hope she got a nice piece of property or a lump sum of money for her efforts. But she may have been able to get that without tying herself to Cameron. I’m sure Cam would be a great sugar daddy. But he doesn’t seem to be very good husband material.

La Reina seems to be a fling that resulted in a child. It’s hard to say but Cam isn’t showing any devotion and love to her either. I don’t think a man is worth catering to for an extended amount of time if he doesn’t honor and respect you. In Cam’s defense that’s probably not even what La Reina was seeking.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman catering to a man but choose one with long term potential. Otherwise you’re wasting time and energy and you’re limiting future opportunities. Kia and La Reina will have complicated families if they get married to new partners while their children are still minors. The greatest baggage of all is Cam Newton. It all sounds like a big headache to me.

Women should cater to their husbands. In order to become a husband a man needs to prove himself honorable. Women should cater to men that are loyal, loving and devoted to them and their children.

There is no reason to waste energy and time on fly by night relationships. Obviously, that’s the case even if he’s rich like Cam. Kia should have gotten some nice jewelry and and kept on stripping. La Reina should have gotten a few nice vacations and kept on IG modeling. They both would have been better off keeping Cam at a distance. If they met that rich guy they could have met a different one; one with long term potential. Women need to invest wisely.

https://www.tmz.com/2022/04/12/cam-newton-says-women-should-cater-to-man-needs-know-when-to-be-quiet/

Dua Lipa and Jonathan: A Case Study in White Womanhood

For context: I don’t know one song by Jonathan aka known as DaBaby. I am familiar with him through You Tube celebrity gossip channels that discuss his behavior. Jonathan is a menace to society. He has been implicated in murders, he and his security have brutalized fans, he has been a jerk in general. He isn’t loyal to his children’s mother or perhaps mothers. I can’t cancel Jonathan because I never supported him.

I enjoy Dua Lipa. She makes catchy pop music. Dua specializes in dance music which I appreciate. She also represents traditional femininity and sex appeal which I appreciate and is becoming increasingly rare.

Recently Jonathan was performing at a show and he made vulgar comments about AIDS and the LGBT community. Crude, mean behavior is typical for Jonathan. But his past deviant behavior has been in the Black community or someone working in the service industry. This time he offended the LGBT community and was taken to task for it.

Whatever works. I’m glad the LGBT community is taking the trash out. A win is a win. But I do find it to be unfortunate that his behavior was tolerated before. I didn’t realize how much mainstream appeal Jonathan had until he was cancelled. It’s interesting to me that so many people thought it was acceptable that he hit a female fan in the face and his security put a male fan in a coma for approaching him at a show. Jonathan was the toast of the town despite being accused of taking part in murders that happened in the Black community.

All of Jonathan’s past misdeeds were overlooked when he was seen as a hot commodity that can make White people some money and give them clout. I have found that that is how a lot of White women operate. They are friends with people when it’s convenient and beneficial but they often times are not genuine friends. When Jonathan’s behavior caught up with him Dua promptly distanced herself. She never really cared about his character or lack thereof. She just didn’t want to take the heat that came with associating with a fool.

Dua Lipa’s relationship with Jonathan is professional and I don’t expect her to stand up for him in any way. Self preservation is always key. My problem is the way she cozied up to him in the first place despite him being a sociopath. All of that was put to the side when she thought Jonathan would help her star shine a little bit brighter. That’s why I reject feminist notions of all women being a part of a sisterhood. Nope. Don’t be a sucker. There is no sisterhood. There is a hierarchy.

The feminism notion of a sisterhood benefits White women. It has done nothing for Black women and I think it will do damage to Black women in the future through trans ideology which further pushes a White standard of feminine beauty. Dua Lipa wasn’t thinking of any sisterhood when she decided to work with Jonathan. But obviously she knows how to take a moral stand. Hmm. Interesting.

I’m focusing on Dua Lipa because she is the person that disappointed me in this situation. She’s the one I liked. But she isn’t alone. Pop legends Madonna and Elton John made it clear who matters to them and who doesn’t as did concert promoters that had Jonathan booked for several shows this summer.

Clearly, Black people are disposable. Service industry workers are of no consequence. The music industry has no problem buddying up to a musician that disrespects and damages people that are of little value to them as long as they make a few bucks.

In my experiences with White women they interact with Black people under certain circumstances and situations. For example, a White co worker will be friendly at work but will act like they don’t see you if they run into you on the weekends. White girls at college are buddy buddy at school but if they run into you at home they act like they don’t know you. That’s why I never believe White people when they say they have Black friends in order to give themselves some type of credibility.

The Dua Lipa/DaBaby debacle reminds me of White women I’ve met and their situational friendship.

Dating Scam: Low Bidding

I’ve discussed a few modern dating scams on this blog. Low bidding is a tactic utilized by users, leeches and people with low self esteem. (The leech can be male or female and any sexual orientation. But I write from a heterosexual female point of view.) They want a person (usually a woman) that is out of their reach. Instead of using their energy and time trying to become a person (usually a man) that can get their dream date they settle.

Settling is not a bad thing if you have some appreciation for what you are settling for. You may have wanted a juicy steak for dinner but you will settle for a can of ravioli. Ravioli is delicious, inexpensive easy to make and convenient. Sometimes it’s appropriate for the situation. We’ve all settled at some point. But if you’re going to be resentful and bitter instead of appreciative and grateful about the opportunity that presented itself to you please don’t settle. Hold out for what you really want and leave the can of ravioli on the shelf for someone that would request canned ravioli for their last meal. It’s all relative.

And settling is not a bad thing. In this case I will call it redirection. We all have a wish list and sometimes we find out the things on our list are not what they are cracked up to be, in short supply or the admiration is not returned. At that point of getting checked by reality you need to recalculate your course and plan a new strategy. We’ve all done it. It’s called growing up.

Let’s say that a gentleman meets you and you hit some of his metrics. You’re good enough for somethings but not others. You may be good enough for the night time but not the day time. You might be good enough for friends with benefits but not good enough to meet his friends. He might put in a low bid. Examples of low bidding are:

going dutch on dates
being vague about intentions
sexual innuendo/lack of respect
poor treatment

He’s letting you know from the start what he thinks you’re worth. Only a desperate woman would accept any of the bids in the bullet points. It’s up to you to set a high value for yourself. You can’t wait for men to value you because many of them don’t value themselves, women in general or long term relationships. The term “pump and dump” comes to mind.

This photo came from an about bidding on materials in the construction business. It illustrates why low bids can be a waste of time. Here is the article if you are interested.

The Frustrating Truth About Deliberate Low Bids – No One Really Wins!

These men don’t value themselves as human beings if they are willing to share their body with any woman that will allow it. That’s particularly true if they are having unprotected sex. They don’t even care about potential offspring or their health. And no, this isn’t a man being a man. It’s a jerk being a jerk. Jerk can be applied to either gender or the ones in between that I don’t quite understand.

If low bidders thought they could get a woman that met their standards to love and respect them they would pursue that. They don’t think they can because they lack confidence. Male language on social media reflects this. Men that say they need to “get themselves together” or “get their money up” before pursuing a long term relationship are pretty much stating that they don’t have what it takes at the moment to attract a woman that they find worthy. They don’t think of themselves as worthy.

I’m not saying that finances are not an issue. But so is personality and couples can grow together. And poverty is not an excuse to use another person. If you want to wait until you’ve made your first million to pursue a relationship that is a respectable plan. But don’t bother other people while you’re trying to achieve that goal. You’ll probably get there faster without the distractions anyway.

Low bidding is a sign of a potential abusive partner. He (or she) may do or say mean and inconsiderate things to see what their new potential partner is willing to tolerate. They may like to control and exploit their partner. Domination and intimidation is validating for bullies.

During the early stages of a relationship you should jump ship at the first sign of disrespect. It’s easier to leave in the beginning because a big investment hasn’t been made. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots and bad situations usually don’t get better. You just need to remove yourself from harmful relationships and the sooner you can do it the better.

The beginning stages of dating are an observation period. If you observe troublesome behavior block the number and go on with your life. Don’t allow low bidders to insult you and don’t entertain them if they decide to come back around. If you allow them back into your life after kicking them out then you are behaving more desperate than you would have if you accepting them in the first place. A leopard doesn’t change its spots and bad situations usually don’t get better.

He’s about to eat you up!

Imagine if you had a car for sale and you were aware of the Blue Book value. You realistically assessed your car so you have a good idea of what you can get for it. If you’re a smart business person you’re not going to accept a ridiculously low bid. You’re going to disregard the low bidder as not serious and not allow them to waste anymore of your time. Just block the number.

I made the comparisons to a single person on the dating market to meals and cars. I’m just trying to make a point about a bidding process. There are some things like real estate and cars that aren’t good values so they won’t warrant a high price. However, human being are not property and inanimate objects. No one is called to be used in a demolition derby, stripped for parts or torn down for what’s underneath them. An Omaha 7 may never date an LA 9 but everyone that is nice deserves a suitable and loving partner.

The Feminist Nonsense Continues: Lizzo at the Lakers Game

I’m not even sure where to start with this. In case you haven’t heard I’ll recap the insanity. Pop star Lizzo went to a Lakers game in a loose T shirt dress with a cut out at the behind which exposed her bare cheeks and black thong. During the game Lizzo was put on the jumbotron and she did a little dance. It was cute but then she turned around so the camera can get a look at her bare butt cheeks and thong while she continued to dance.

I was appalled by it but there’s a lot of shocking things going on in the world today. I was prepared to file this away and move forward. But then Lizzo and her dress with the butt cut out became a trending topic and Lizzo went on a rant on IG. And here is where the problem starts for me. Lizzo is quoted as saying “if you don’t like my a$$ you can kiss it”. We weren’t thinking about her a$$ until she showed it to us.

The so called #bodypositive rant is what made this incident a feminist and “woke” talking point on You Tube this week. Lizzo is a #bodypositivity ambassador and the body positivity movement rubs me the wrong way. I’ve seen #bodypositivity posts all over Instagram and they come across as a manipulative scam.

#bodypositivity is a way to get women out of their clothes. #bodyposi convinces women that they have to take off their clothes in order to prove that they love their bodies and are confident women. The #bodyposi community believes that bearing it all is a way to conquer insecurities.

The #bodypositivity movement really has very little to do with confidence and being happy with yourself. It has more to do with seeking attention and validation. I have more respect for #thirsttrapthursday posts. At least they are completely honest in their intentions and they aren’t fake woke.

The #bodypositivity and modern feminist movement is telling women that they should seek to be lusted after. Modern feminism and #bodypositivity are not seeking to have women valued as a human beings and individuals. The focus on a woman’s body and not anything else she can offer the world.

Lizzo is beautiful, talented, energetic and charismatic. I wouldn’t have noticed that she is heavy without her pointing it out. Her size and feminist activism is part of her brand despite the fact that she is a well trained classical flutist and rapper (what a combination) with a great stage presence. Lizzo has a great deal to offer the world but instead she chooses to focus on a$$.

She is selling herself short and the image that she puts out of herself is cartoonish. I feel like she is living up to stereotypes about larger women, particularly large Black women. Lizzo claims to be standing up for women that don’t have slim bodies but she presents full figure in unflattering ways when it would be very easy for her to project a stylish image. She has the goods and resources to do so.

I’m curious about what Lizzo was expecting when she turned her bare backside to the jumbotron camera. Was she expecting a round of applause? She received criticism from showing her thonged behind in public (shocker) and then she went into victim mode and told everyone that they were criticizing her because she is big and Black. She didn’t take into consideration that her actions would be seen as uncouth to some if not most people.

But Lizzo isn’t the biggest problem. The biggest problem are the social media feminists. They say that the world was trying to police her body because she is a Black with a lot of meat. She could have worn almost anything without criticism but she chose something that she knew would be controversial. Those of us that find her taste and behavior to be questionable are now being made out to be bigots and chauvinists. This is emotional blackmail.

It’s not our job to validate every person when they do things for shock value or out of desperation. And we don’t have to give positive reinforcement to Hollyweird and rich n word culture. This Lizzo situation is almost a real life version of The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Lizzo could do a lot to represent full figured women by just being the talented and beautiful woman that she is but she’s wasting this opportunity with her shenanigans. I do not think that the activism that she is becoming known for will sustain her career as a musician. If no one’s told Lizzo this, you’re pretty and talented. You don’t need to pull childish pranks.

The Modern Dating Scam: the Bait and Switch Date

There are a lot of scams involved in dating these days. Before you can look for love you need to be sure that they’re not simply looking to use you. I’ve noticed a dating trend over the last few years. I’m going to call it the bait and switch date and here’s how it works.

Let’s say a man and woman take interest in each other so they make a date. It’s Wednesday and they plan a day at a park for Sunday afternoon. As it gets close to time for the date the man finds a reason to modify the plans. He will come up with an excuse as to why the date that was planned won’t work on Sunday morning.

He may give excuses like:

It’s going to be a bit cool. (The seven day forecast told us that. Wear a jacket.)
He has hay fever. (Didn’t he know that before?)
He wants to see you but he has to do something later that night so he will be pressed for time. He doesn’t want to be rushed. (When did that come up? Why did you even make this plan with me if you had something to do later?)

As far as you’re concerned the plans can be canceled and we can see each other a different day. We can do something all together different if a firm plan is put into place. But he says that he wants to see you today. (Awww) You’ve taken the bait. You’ve already agreed to spend time with him and reserved a block of time for him.

He had no desire or probably intention to ever go to the park. His wheels have been turning for the last few days to see how an afternoon in the park can end up with time alone so he can try and have sex with you. He may also have made a suggestion that he thought you would like to butter you up. An idea of a pleasant afternoon may be enough to get you on the hook.

Here’s the switch. So now he suggests that the two of you meet up for drinks or a bite to eat at a bar or cafe near his house instead of going to the park and the two of you can talk and see where the afternoon goes.

Don’t trust men when they say “Let’s see where it goes”. Don’t trust them ever. Just don’t. Hit the eject button. Flakiness in men is usually a smoke bomb which creates a confusing gray area for them to exploit and people can be hurt that way to varying degrees.

In my opinion it would be a lot more respectful and mature if a man said, “Hey, I’m interested in casual sex this afternoon. Are you up for it? I have no interest in a long term commitment from you but you are kind of sexy.” The woman is then empowered to say yes or no. She can even open the conversation up to terms, conditions and negotiations.

But they don’t want to negotiate and put everything out on the table because they don’t want women to be empowered in that way. The US workforce works the same way. There’s a reason union labor has dwindled. Negotiations empowered marginalized workers. The workers got a chance to have their voices heard and companies were bound to an agreement. Large companies didn’t like that so they undermined union labor. The sexual revolution and feminism undermined and eroded women’s bargaining power. Men are no longer bound to anything but their own needs.

The world is run by men. They know how to make decisions, speak their mind and come to compromises. That’s why I look for leadership in men when it comes to personal relationships. To me leadership involves being able to make a firm decision and having the ability to make plans. Waffling back and forth is not attractive. I’ve learned that when men are being flaky and vague it’s not confusion it’s deception. He is pulling a bait and switch.