Here’s What’s Missing from Cam’s Argument

Cam Newton made public statements recently that have been heavily criticized. Cam said that a woman’s purpose is to cater to her man. Fine. That’s great, especially if a woman can land a man with Cam Newton’s kind of money.

But there were some things missing from his statement. What’s missing is the man’s role. What did the man do to deserve having a woman cater to him. In the case of Cam Newton and his public relationships he didn’t seem to offer love, loyalty, devotion, respect or honor.

Cam Newton didn’t marry Kia Proctor, the mother of his first four children. They had a relationship for around five years. He didn’t marry IG model La Reina Shaw, the mother of his youngest child either. I’m unsure of the state of the relationship between La Reina and Cameron but they don’t seem to be a couple.

Kia is thirty three and an unmarried mom of five. She has a daughter from a relationship before she met Cam Newton and she has four with Cam. What did she really get from that relationship? She spent the prime years of her youth catering to Cameron and having his children.

If Cam was devoted to Kia and their family unit he would be worth catering to particularly since he’s wealthy. But that was not the case. Cam said the relationship changed over time and he became a different person over the years. It’s clear that maintaining their family unit and raising the children in a traditional home was not a priority for Cameron. I’m sure Kia catered to Cam. What did that get her?

Kia got older and preoccupied with motherhood. She was no longer the DC stripper that charmed her way into the NFL quarterback’s heart. I certainly hope she got a nice piece of property or a lump sum of money for her efforts. But she may have been able to get that without tying herself to Cameron. I’m sure Cam would be a great sugar daddy. But he doesn’t seem to be very good husband material.

La Reina seems to be a fling that resulted in a child. It’s hard to say but Cam isn’t showing any devotion and love to her either. I don’t think a man is worth catering to for an extended amount of time if he doesn’t honor and respect you. In Cam’s defense that’s probably not even what La Reina was seeking.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman catering to a man but choose one with long term potential. Otherwise you’re wasting time and energy and you’re limiting future opportunities. Kia and La Reina will have complicated families if they get married to new partners while their children are still minors. The greatest baggage of all is Cam Newton. It all sounds like a big headache to me.

Women should cater to their husbands. In order to become a husband a man needs to prove himself honorable. Women should cater to men that are loyal, loving and devoted to them and their children.

There is no reason to waste energy and time on fly by night relationships. Obviously, that’s the case even if he’s rich like Cam. Kia should have gotten some nice jewelry and and kept on stripping. La Reina should have gotten a few nice vacations and kept on IG modeling. They both would have been better off keeping Cam at a distance. If they met that rich guy they could have met a different one; one with long term potential. Women need to invest wisely.

https://www.tmz.com/2022/04/12/cam-newton-says-women-should-cater-to-man-needs-know-when-to-be-quiet/

Marry Smart: Book Review

Marry Smart is a relationship advice book for young, career oriented women by Susan Patton. I think it’s worth the read. It’s quick and Ms. Patton gives sound, practical and realistic advice to young women who aspire to marriage and motherhood.

Susan Patton is an HR professional and Princeton graduate who wrote a controversial letter to the editor of the campus newspaper of her alma mater. The letter advised young women to focus on finding a husband with as much or more energy as they do in starting a career. The letter garnered a lot of attention. Enough conversation was aroused by the letter that Susan wrote a book explaining her opinions on young women, careers, marriage and motherhood. I remember seeing Susan on morning TV programs like Today and The View when the book was released in 2014.

Susan was criticized in the mainstream and by feminists but what she was saying on the talk show circuit made sense to me. The author urges young women to be honest with themselves. If they want to marry and have children pursue that goal as they would any other. Be strategic. That’s the bottom line.

Susan states that the best time in a woman’s life to find a husband is while in college. She advises young women to make finding a spouse a priority while they are young and in school because that’s when youth, social surroundings and fertility are in a woman’s favor.

The odds of finding a desirable and compatible husband are in a young woman’s favor while she is on campus. She’s around men that are educated, career oriented, young, most likely single and childless. After graduation it’s nearly impossible to simulate that kind of social setting. The author advised women to remain active in alumni activities if they don’t find a husband while a student. It’s pretty simple and common sense.

Ms. Patton says that if you know you want to marry pursue it as a goal and be mindful of your time. Pop culture leads women to believe that they will meet the perfect mate by chance. Mainstream American Christianity preaches that The Lord will bring you the perfect spouse. I don’t think these romantic notions are fruitful.

I would encourage young women to be deliberate in their dating choices, have goals and be mindful of time . I think that Marry Smart offers great advice to women regardless of their educational and career goals. Any young woman can read this book and apply it to their own life and circumstances.

My criticism of this book is that it lasts a little longer than is necessary. Susan’s advice delves into some other areas that can help a lady be a success in life but it does get to be a bit superfluous near the end. It feels like Susan’s editor had a word requirement and she needed to stretch.

Generally speaking I think relationship advice is terrible. But Ms. Patton’s advice is based on simple biology. Women have been set up to fail by ignoring biology. The author is a bit harsh but I think it comes from a good, loving, maternal place. It’s worth a read. I listened to an audio book version which lasted about seven hours.

Modern Dating Scam: The Ride or Die Chick – Anna Duggar and Yandy: a case study

Anna Duggar and Yandy Smith don’t have a lot in common other than being cable reality TV personalities. Anna Duggar married into the fundamentalist Christian Duggar family of TLC reality TV show fame. Yandy is known from the VH1 program “Love and Hip Hop New York” . Both were married on TV to men that would end up incarcerated. Other than reality TV Anna and Yandy share the dubious distinction of being ride or die chicks and having it all blow up in their faces the same week.

Anna’s husband Josh was arrested for possession of child pornography two weeks ago. Josh is currently out on bail. Those kind of allegations are always shocking but Josh has been accused of sexual misconduct in the past. When Josh was young he sexually assaulted his younger sisters while they were asleep. Josh did not serve any time for what he did to his sisters. Instead he went through therapy at his church. Josh who grew up in a strict Christian household and he has also been caught on websites for married people seeking to cheat on their spouse.

All of the revelations came out in 2015. At the time Anna and Josh had four children. Anna made the decision to stay in her marriage and remain loyal to her husband. One would think that Josh would change his ways after being exposed in the media and publicly humiliating his wife. Instead he got worse and the allegations became even more dubious. Anna’s forgiveness, loyalty, patience and love didn’t amount to anything.

Yandy and her husband Mendeecees have been featured on “Love and Hip Hope New York” and “Couples Retreat”. Mendeecees was convicted on drug related charges and served four years in prison. His wife Yandy waited for him and supported him faithfully during his incarceration. She also became a prison reform activist.

An episode of “Couples Retreat” recently aired and Mendeecees was asked if he would support Yandy the way she supported him if she was incarcerated. He said he doesn’t know how he would react if the roles were reversed. The man that promised to be by her side through good times and bad admitted on a reality TV show that his vows were not sincere. Again, Yandy’s love and devotion amounted to a hill of beans. Her love is unrequited and unmatched. Yandy wasted her time and energy. She gained absolutely nothing.

I too have been a ride or die chick. About fifteen years ago I dated a man who was in the Army. The relationship happened while American troops were being deployed to Iraq. I thought I was in love with this man and I threw myself into supporting my soldier. I called him sometimes, wrote him and sent him things that he asked for. I watched the news every night and cried in front of the TV when the loss of troops was reported.

One day with tears in my eyes I tried to visualize my suitor sitting in front of the TV crying for me. I couldn’t see it. It didn’t seem feasible. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I began to question his feelings and intentions for me. He became dramatic and argumentative. I began to distance myself from him after that and the relationship fizzled out and ended. I wasted my energy, time, emotions and money. My love, care, loyalty, patriotism and devotion to this man amounted to nothing.

I took a long break from dating after that relationship. I remained completely single for about eight years before I took an interest in dating again. In those eight years I learned to make sure that any many I dated proved genuine interest and good intentions to me. I learned to take my time to ensure that a man invested in me. I am not interested in reciprocity. I’m interested in leadership. I don’t want tit for tat. I want a man that chooses me and proves to me that he is worthy to be a loyal husband.

Once I started dating again my circumstances improved. I have a boyfriend now who is clutch and very cute. But aside from that I learned how to get rid of men that weren’t showing me that they were sincere early on. Women need to understand that it doesn’t matter how much she loves a man. It doesn’t amount to anything. It matters how much he loves you.

Don’t be a ride or die chick. No sincere man wants a woman to be a ride or die chick. Only selfish men want that. A man with good intentions wants to be ride or die for her. A man that loves a woman wants her to be as stress and burden free as possible. He wants her to know that she can rely on him is she has struggles. It’s never the other way around.

Lockdown Reviews: A Father First, How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball

During the COVID 19 Lockdown I read the biography A Father First, How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball by retired NBA star Dwyane Wade. The book was published in 2012. It tells the story of Dwyane’s life while focussing on his relationship with his boys. He is the father of two sons and he also raised his nephew who needed a home.

For the most part I enjoyed A Father First. The book is a bit slow moving in parts but it was interesting and touching at other times. I am an NBA fan and I followed Dwyane’s career for year but I didn’t know much about him personally. Dwyane lived with his three sisters, two of which were from his mother’s previous relationships, his mom and his dad. He was the baby of the family.

Wade stated that his family was far from wealthy but when his parents were together his life had stability and the family had what they needed even thought their lives were modest. His parents, Dwyane and Jolinda, divorced when Wade was a young boy. His mother admitted that the split was due to her controlling ways. Everything changed for Dwyane and his sisters after the break up.

Dwyane didn’t see his father often. His two older sister went to live with friends or other relatives. Dwyane and his younger sister remained with his mother who developed a serious drug habit. She had abusive relationships with men after her divorce. His mother’s boyfriends were involved with drug trafficking and Chicago PD raided his home. Young Dwyane Wade often went hungry. His childhood trials made him decide as a young boy that if he became a father that he would be devoted, responsible and loyal.

Dwyane’s grandmother was the matriarch of his large extended family. Dwyane had a lot of respect for his grandmother and she was always available to offer help. He and his sister didn’t always seek her help because they didn’t want anyone to know about their mother’s struggle.

Wade went to live with his father, stepmother and brothers when he was in upper elementary school and his life improved. His sister who he was closest with was not taken in by the dad. His father and stepmother had another baby, a girl. While living with his dad sports became a big part of Dwyane’s life. His dad was his first coach and his brothers were his competitors.

He had a growth spurt in high school and it got the attention of coaches and recruiters. Dwyane later went to Marquette University. While he was a student he married his high school sweetheart and became a first time father. He and his wife had a rocky marriage and later a terribly dramatic divorce after being drafted into the NBA by the Miami Heat and having another baby.

Jolinda had a religious epiphany while she was a fugitive of the law. She turned herself in to serve her time. While she was in prison she became free of her drug habit and studied her Bible. She started a storefront church once she was a free woman and her son later bought her a church with his NBA fortune. The other details of the book were about his college and NBA career. I skimmed through those pages because neither were very interesting to me.

I would recommend the book if you’re an NBA fan. The book can be a bit dry but it kind of mirrors Dwyane’s personality. He’s never come across as very dramatic or talkative. Jolinda’s story is inspiring even though I resented her for the way her children suffered due to her shortcoming. Dwyane’s decision to be a committed family man at a young age is also inspirational. It’s a good read if you have the time.

Dating Scam: Low Bidding

I’ve discussed a few modern dating scams on this blog. Low bidding is a tactic utilized by users, leeches and people with low self esteem. (The leech can be male or female and any sexual orientation. But I write from a heterosexual female point of view.) They want a person (usually a woman) that is out of their reach. Instead of using their energy and time trying to become a person (usually a man) that can get their dream date they settle.

Settling is not a bad thing if you have some appreciation for what you are settling for. You may have wanted a juicy steak for dinner but you will settle for a can of ravioli. Ravioli is delicious, inexpensive easy to make and convenient. Sometimes it’s appropriate for the situation. We’ve all settled at some point. But if you’re going to be resentful and bitter instead of appreciative and grateful about the opportunity that presented itself to you please don’t settle. Hold out for what you really want and leave the can of ravioli on the shelf for someone that would request canned ravioli for their last meal. It’s all relative.

And settling is not a bad thing. In this case I will call it redirection. We all have a wish list and sometimes we find out the things on our list are not what they are cracked up to be, in short supply or the admiration is not returned. At that point of getting checked by reality you need to recalculate your course and plan a new strategy. We’ve all done it. It’s called growing up.

Let’s say that a gentleman meets you and you hit some of his metrics. You’re good enough for somethings but not others. You may be good enough for the night time but not the day time. You might be good enough for friends with benefits but not good enough to meet his friends. He might put in a low bid. Examples of low bidding are:

going dutch on dates
being vague about intentions
sexual innuendo/lack of respect
poor treatment

He’s letting you know from the start what he thinks you’re worth. Only a desperate woman would accept any of the bids in the bullet points. It’s up to you to set a high value for yourself. You can’t wait for men to value you because many of them don’t value themselves, women in general or long term relationships. The term “pump and dump” comes to mind.

This photo came from an about bidding on materials in the construction business. It illustrates why low bids can be a waste of time. Here is the article if you are interested.

The Frustrating Truth About Deliberate Low Bids – No One Really Wins!

These men don’t value themselves as human beings if they are willing to share their body with any woman that will allow it. That’s particularly true if they are having unprotected sex. They don’t even care about potential offspring or their health. And no, this isn’t a man being a man. It’s a jerk being a jerk. Jerk can be applied to either gender or the ones in between that I don’t quite understand.

If low bidders thought they could get a woman that met their standards to love and respect them they would pursue that. They don’t think they can because they lack confidence. Male language on social media reflects this. Men that say they need to “get themselves together” or “get their money up” before pursuing a long term relationship are pretty much stating that they don’t have what it takes at the moment to attract a woman that they find worthy. They don’t think of themselves as worthy.

I’m not saying that finances are not an issue. But so is personality and couples can grow together. And poverty is not an excuse to use another person. If you want to wait until you’ve made your first million to pursue a relationship that is a respectable plan. But don’t bother other people while you’re trying to achieve that goal. You’ll probably get there faster without the distractions anyway.

Low bidding is a sign of a potential abusive partner. He (or she) may do or say mean and inconsiderate things to see what their new potential partner is willing to tolerate. They may like to control and exploit their partner. Domination and intimidation is validating for bullies.

During the early stages of a relationship you should jump ship at the first sign of disrespect. It’s easier to leave in the beginning because a big investment hasn’t been made. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots and bad situations usually don’t get better. You just need to remove yourself from harmful relationships and the sooner you can do it the better.

The beginning stages of dating are an observation period. If you observe troublesome behavior block the number and go on with your life. Don’t allow low bidders to insult you and don’t entertain them if they decide to come back around. If you allow them back into your life after kicking them out then you are behaving more desperate than you would have if you accepting them in the first place. A leopard doesn’t change its spots and bad situations usually don’t get better.

He’s about to eat you up!

Imagine if you had a car for sale and you were aware of the Blue Book value. You realistically assessed your car so you have a good idea of what you can get for it. If you’re a smart business person you’re not going to accept a ridiculously low bid. You’re going to disregard the low bidder as not serious and not allow them to waste anymore of your time. Just block the number.

I made the comparisons to a single person on the dating market to meals and cars. I’m just trying to make a point about a bidding process. There are some things like real estate and cars that aren’t good values so they won’t warrant a high price. However, human being are not property and inanimate objects. No one is called to be used in a demolition derby, stripped for parts or torn down for what’s underneath them. An Omaha 7 may never date an LA 9 but everyone that is nice deserves a suitable and loving partner.

Loyalty: One of the Values of a Fake Relationship

I don’t know if these memes are jokes or if they are serious. Nonetheless, it is sad to me that they exist at all.

It seems that modern culture is telling women that they need to prove loyalty to men that are not their husbands or even boyfriends. In return for their loyalty I’m assuming these women get to marry a person that is self centered, manipulative, fake and generally not very nice. What joy!

Men don’t seem to be offering the same kind of loyalty in return, at least not right away. I guess they commit after they’ve exhausted all other options and they’ve wasted a lot of a woman’s time and energy. In other words they capitulate because they’ve wasted their time and now they’re probably not desirable to other women.

These relationships are based on desperation, limited options and limited understanding of a man’s role and a woman’s worth. I’m going to give a few examples of those living under simlar circumstances, demanded loyalty with little to nothing given in return:

Citizens of North Korea

north korea

The citizens of North Korea are required to be loyal to it’s leaders. In return for that loyalty the government doesn’t brutally punish and or execute them. Their loyalty isn’t really love of country as much as it is fear of being sent to a work camp, tortured and killed.

Slaves

Loyalty is demanded of slaves. Without loyalty there would be rebellion. The empowered person would lose complete control. All would be lost. Their sense of importance and probably money would be lost. Loyalty is maintained through violence and psychological bondage.

slave rebellion

Dogs

Dogs are loyal. They don’t ask for much or have very high expectations. All they want is a pat on the head and a bowl of kibble. They’re loyalty comes very cheap. They simply want validation.

dogs

Mom

Moms are great. I love moms. If you ask most people who has always been loyal to them most would say their mom. Moms are loyal to human beings that are essentially useless in the beginning. But moms have high hopes. Babies are cute but they are a lot of work. Young children are exhausting.

Babies are just balls of potential. This type of loyalty is valiant in a mother but it is foolish from women in pseudo romantic relationships.

mom

Men are supposed to show leadership in relationships and if they don’t do that they are not living up to their potential. Once a relationship is established loyalty is a two way street. Two people need to commit to each other and set boundaries for a relationship. No woman wants to be in a relationship where she feels like she is a citizen of a dictatorship, slave, pet or a man’s mother. There is no way true romance can blossom under those conditions. If a man is demanding loyalty without giving it or offering a future you are headed for a fake relationship devised to take advantage of you.

Don’t Date Just Anybody

I got a good response from a post that I made yesterday called Ask 1000 Questions (The Right Questions). I decided to share another humorous gem that I ran across on Facebook a while back.

Ask lots of questions and take your time are both good bits of advice. It’s a good way to avoid the pitfalls of a fake relationship that was devised to use you. Remember that women are the vulnerable party in courtships. Men don’t have much to lose in fake no commitment relationships. Their investment is very small.

Women are more vulnerable to physical harm. Women form emotional attachments easier. Women go through pregnancy regardless if the father is involved or not. Women take on the responsibility of caring for children regardless if father is involved or not. And women are judged more harshly by society for past relationships with men.

It’s in a woman’s best interest to protect herself against the chicanery that is prevalent in the dating world. If a man isn’t willing to show you that he is interested in a commitment then he shouldn’t be allowed to take up a large space in your life. This is a drain of emotional energy that can be redirected somewhere else.

If men and women are going to date without commitment the terms of the relationship should be made clear and both parties should agree. It’s up to the couple to decide on the terms of a relationship. If both parties are honest and agree the details are completely up to them. But if we’re honest women want to be married 9/10.

If a man wants a particular woman he will rise to her standards. If a man is looking for a sex kitten, a security blanket, a nice lady to babysit his kids or someone to help him pay off his truck he is going to find a woman to fit that bill. He will probably never marry her. Once she’s served her purpose he will move on.

I know that people get lonely and desire attention and affection but it’s not worth it if it’s a counterfeit. Counterfeit, cubic zirconia affection causes more problems than being single. So ask 1,000 specific questions and take your time. It’s OK to walk away and if he walks away don’t chase him. Learn to cut your losses because you can’t just date anybody. Good luck everybody.

Ask 1000 Questions (The Right Questions)

Over the weekend I read the advice column Ask E. in “Elle” magazine. A young woman said that she was gradually ghosted by a man that she dated for around a month. He told her that she was not marriage material. The man is long gone but she still feels bad about what he told her. Her letter to “Elle” reminded me of a video that I saw on Facebook years ago.

Creflo Dollar is right. When you meet someone new be sure to ask 1,000 questions at the beginning of the relationship. And be prepared to answer questions. If your suitor isn’t asking much about your motivations or background they probably have shallow reasons for wanting to date you.

Ask the right questions. I think that it is important to find out a person’s motivations for dating. Women make the mistake of thinking that men are motivated by the same things as them. Women are motivated to find long term relationships. Men are motivated to find short term no strings attached sex.

Men are great at wasting time and they have no problem starting a relationship with a woman and faking a courtship in order to get sex until he finds a woman that he really wants for a commitment. It’s one of the biggest scams of the modern age. The fake relationship may last a night, month or a decade. Fake relationships have started entire families. It all seems like a waste of time and energy to me but it’s the way that many men operate.

The woman that wrote to Ask E. didn’t say whether she became intimate with the man. A woman can be ghosted if she refuses to have sex right away or if she has sex and he decides he’s ready to move along. If the man thought she was “wife material” it wouldn’t have mattered. He would have remained in her life without judgement. Men marry promiscuous women all the time. If he likes her he likes her and that’s all she wrote.

So like Creflo Dollar said don’t be afraid to ask 1,000 questions. Don’t start a relationship with a bunch of small talk, banter and meaningless compliments. You already know you’re pretty. A man shouldn’t have a problem stating his true intentions even if he only wants casual sex. Perhaps the young lady is interested in that too. That sounds like an equally yoked couple to me.

If a man is looking for a long term commitment he shouldn’t be afraid to state his objective. He should also be able to say why he is attracted to you and why he thinks you might be a good life partner. Ask the specifics at the beginning. Now I know people lie and there is nothing you can do about that. Just make sure the actions match the words over an extended period of time.

menace ii society

If you open the dialogue it should at least be interesting to see what he has to say. You know how you get asked weird, vague questions in job interviews. I heard a hiring manager say once that they just want to see how you will respond. The answer itself isn’t as important. The idea is to get the candidate to talk so you can see what is on their mind.

If you are ghosted immediately that’s probably what he would have done at some point anyway. Trash takes itself out. Get the truth out on the table and find out where the man’s head is before you invest your heart and time.

People are savage out here and there is no honor. People act out of selfishness and don’t really care if they hurt someone. They just think that the person that they took advantage of shouldn’t have been such a sucker. Unfortunately dating is almost like Spy Vs. Spy and the most cunning and suspicious person wins. I’m not exactly sure what the prize is. Waiting to get stabbed in the back doesn’t seem like a start to a great romance to me.

spy versus spy

Ask 1,000 questions towards the beginning of a relationship. It might be a good idea to ask the first one or two hundred before the first date. And ask questions that are specific to you to see if he sees you as merely a place holder until he runs across someone he deems as wife material. Heck, ask him what he considers wife material and if you fit into his mold. I think that you have more to gain than you have to lose.

And please don’t go over his house unless you simply want to get laid. That’s a real crap shoot and a lot can go wrong for women if you do that. After sex women esteem men more and I think that men esteem women less. If you care what he thinks you’re better off to keep the relationship in public spaces for a while. The truth will come out eventually.

#TeamTristan

Tristan Thompson is back at it! He’s making headlines again. It’s not for playing basketball. The Cavaliers are 13 – 46 and in the fourteenth place out of fifteen teams in the east. He’s back in the gossip news for cheating on his baby mama Khloe Kardashian with her sisters ex room mate Jordyn Woods.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m completely in favor of loyalty, fidelity and long lasting, loving relationships between men and women. But this isn’t that. There is no evidence that this is a respectful relationship at all. It all just looks like a big confusing mess from the beginning.

The internet says that Khloe began seeing Tristan while his other baby mama was pregnant with his other child. Shortly thereafter Khloe got pregnant with her daughter. The internet says he cheated during Khloe’s pregnancy as well. After their daughter True was born there was some Kris Jenner manufactured drama on social media. Tristan was the villain, Khloe was the victim and the bystanders discussed what Khloe should do next.

Just like in old soap operas Khloe did exactly what she shouldn’t do. She pursued a romantic future and family life with a notorious philanderer. I don’t know what Khloe expected from this. I’m certainly not surprised that Tristan cheated on her.

I haven’t heard any declarations of love from Tristan to Khloe. I haven’t heard of an engagement between the two. Nor have I heard about an elopement. Tristan Thompson is a single, successful man that can do as he pleases. He’s nobody’s husband.

You see this is what happens when boundaries and lines are blurred. You get confusion and hurt feelings. People get taken advantage of in gray, undefined areas. Gray undefined terms and conditions are like smoke bombs that are intended to cause confusion and make it harder to see clearly. It’s kind of like when the Joker throws smoke bombs in “Batman”.

Romantic partners that aren’t your spouse don’t owe you anything. Hopefully they care about you enough to protect your feelings but you are taking your chances. You aren’t entitled to loyalty and devotion from a person to whom you have not married. You also don’t owe it to anyone. Tristan doesn’t owe any of his baby mamas a thing. If they really wanted Tristan for the long haul they would require marriage. If he was not interested in that type of a commitment they would know that they are barking up the wrong tree and they need to pursue other relationships.

These vaguely defined relationships aren’t doing anyone any favors. Men and women seem to be unhappy with each other and both sides get used and taken advantage of. Women get taken advantage of for sex and other favors. Men get taken advantage of for financial reasons or are pressured to marry because of the child they probably didn’t want.

There are no real winners. There is a purpose behind marriage and we should honor it. If you choose to take the new aged approach to relationships you will probably end up suffering in some regard whether you are a man or woman. Don’t expect old fashioned results with new aged behavior.

Black Men and MGTOW

I ran across a MGTOW video today and it confirmed what I suspected was at the roots of the MGTOW movement. MGTOW is White people’s business. I’ll explain. MGTOW men seem to resent White women for educating themselves and opening up economic and career opportunities.

I’m a firm believer that the only rule to dating and marriage is that people date and marry their equivalent unless there is an exchange such as youth and beauty in exchange for financial security. When White women became more educated I’m sure it made things more difficult for average White men. Educated White women probably wanted an educated White man and if she couldn’t find what she wanted she had the option to remain single.

White men on MGTOW YouTube channels express their resentment for educated White women often. They also seem to resent these women and their urbane, cosmopolitan attitudes. Educated White women were striving for nicer things, elegant surroundings and they may be more open to inter racial dating.

Average White men seem to begrudge all of this. These educated White women are a little out of their league. Even if the average Joe makes more money than college Susie they may not have much in common because of Susie’s education and broader options. Joe’s options are now limited and he has to compete for Susie’s attention. If he can find a woman that he is happy with then he moves on to wedded bliss. If not he can fall back on MGTOW.

I’ve seen many Black men that support MGTOW. They really need to think of something different. I don’t think that anyone owes it to like anyone and I think it’s acceptable to not marry for whatever reason. But Black men should not be speaking in favor of MGTOW because they look foolish.

Read the comments under this video.

Black MGTOW men are linking arms with White men that are mad at White women for making education and careers a priority instead of breeding more White babies. I don’t understand why Black men don’t see this and I don’t know why they have adapted MGTOW as their cause.

The Undead Chronic channel has genuinely given me a few laughs and I think he makes some good points. But he mentions that the young woman is pretty much untouchable to him after Chad, Tyrone and I believe he said Abdul have been “up in there”. He is degrading this White woman for potentially having lovers of a difference race. (I understand they degrade women for having lovers in general but if race wasn’t an issue he would have left it at Chad). But Black men consistently wave this flag all over YouTube. Sigh. I don’t know what to tell them.

There are a lot of problems in the Black community and I think that Black men should focus their energy on something other than disdain for women. Even if they don’t want to marry or involve themselves with women Black men have much bigger fish to fry than MGTOW concerns. For example, I think that inner city crime is a more pressing matter. How about all that police brutality? Black men simply don’t have the time.

They should probably just put a B in front of the acronym to set themselves apart since I believe that MGTOW is uniquely a White man’s movement that addresses the concerns of White men with White women. A rebrand is definitely needed. Why not just call it “I Hate B!tches” because that’s what I get from their rants? Black male support of MGTOW as it stands is completely ridiculous. It is yet another contradiction with the movement.