#TeamTristan

Tristan Thompson is back at it!  He’s making headlines again.  It’s not for playing basketball.  The Cavaliers are 13 – 46 and in the fourteenth place out of fifteen teams in the east.  He’s back in the gossip news for cheating on his baby mama Khloe Kardashian with her sisters ex room mate Jordyn Woods.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m completely in favor of loyalty, fidelity and long lasting, loving relationships between men and women.  But this isn’t that.  There is no evidence that this is a respectful relationship at all.  It all just looks like a big confusing mess from the beginning.

The internet says that Khloe began seeing Tristan while his other baby mama was pregnant with his other child.  Shortly thereafter Khloe got pregnant with her daughter.  The internet says he cheated during Khloe’s pregnancy as well.  After their daughter True was born there was some Kris Jenner manufactured drama on social media.  Tristan was the villain, Khloe was the victim and the bystanders discussed what Khloe should do next.

Just like in old soap operas Khloe did exactly what she shouldn’t do.  She pursued a romantic future and family life with a notorious philanderer.  I don’t know what Khloe expected from this.  I’m certainly not surprised that Tristan cheated on her.

I haven’t heard any declarations of love from Tristan to Khloe.  I haven’t heard of an engagement between the two.  Nor have I heard about an elopement.  Tristan Thompson is a single, successful man that can do as he pleases.  He’s nobody’s husband.

You see this is what happens when boundaries and lines are blurred.  You get confusion and hurt feelings.  People get taken advantage of in gray, undefined areas.  Gray undefined terms and conditions are like smoke bombs that are intended to cause confusion and make it harder to see clearly.  It’s kind of like when the Joker throws smoke bombs in “Batman”.

Romantic partners that aren’t your spouse don’t owe you anything.  Hopefully they care about you enough to protect your feelings but you are taking your chances.  You aren’t entitled to loyalty and devotion from a person to whom you have not married.  You also don’t owe it to anyone.  Tristan doesn’t owe any of his baby mamas a thing.  If they really wanted Tristan for the long haul they would require marriage.  If he was not interested in that type of a commitment they would know that they are barking up the wrong tree and they need to pursue other relationships.

These vaguely defined relationships aren’t doing anyone any favors.  Men and women seem to be unhappy with each other and both sides get used and taken advantage of.  Women get taken advantage of for sex and other favors.  Men get taken advantage of for financial reasons or are pressured to marry because of the child they probably didn’t want.

There are no real winners.  There is a purpose behind marriage and we should honor it.  If you choose to take the new aged approach to relationships you will probably end up suffering in some regard whether you are a man or woman.  Don’t expect old fashioned results with new aged behavior.

Kylie & Jordan

Black Men and MGTOW

I ran across a MGTOW video today and it confirmed what I suspected was at the roots of the MGTOW movement.  MGTOW is White people’s business.  I’ll explain.  MGTOW men seem to resent White women for educating themselves and opening up economic and career opportunities.

I’m a firm believer that the only rule to dating and marriage is that people date and marry their equivalent unless there is an exchange such as youth and beauty in exchange for financial security.  When White women became more educated I’m sure it made things more difficult for average White men.  Educated White women probably wanted an educated White man and if she couldn’t find what she wanted she had the option to remain single.

White men on MGTOW YouTube channels express their resentment for educated White women often.  They also seem to resent these women and their urbane, cosmopolitan attitudes.  Educated White women were striving for nicer things, elegant surroundings and they may be more open to inter racial dating.

Average White men seem to begrudge all of this.  These educated White women are a little out of their league.  Even if the average Joe makes more money than college Susie they may not have much in common because of Susie’s education and broader options.  Joe’s options are now limited and he has to compete for Susie’s attention.  If he can find a woman that he is happy with then he moves on to wedded bliss.  If not he can fall back on  MGTOW.

I’ve seen many Black men that support MGTOW.  They really need to think of something different.  I don’t think that anyone owes it to like anyone and I think it’s acceptable to not marry for whatever reason.  But Black men should not be speaking in favor of MGTOW because they look foolish.

Read the comments under this video.

Black MGTOW men are linking arms with White men that are mad at White women for making education and careers a priority instead of breeding more White babies.  I don’t understand why Black men don’t see this and I don’t know why they have adapted MGTOW as their cause.

The Undead Chronic channel has genuinely given me a few laughs and I think he makes some good points.  But he mentions that the young woman is pretty much untouchable to him after Chad, Tyrone and I believe he said Abdul have been “up in there”.  He is degrading this White women for potentially having lovers of a difference race.  (I understand they degrade women for having lovers in general but if race wasn’t an issue he would have left it at Chad).  But Black men consistently wave this flag all over YouTube.  Sigh.  I don’t know what to tell them.

There are a lot of problems in the Black community and I think that Black men should focus their energy on something other than disdain for women.  Even if they don’t want to marry or involve themselves with women Black men have much bigger fish to fry than MGTOW concerns.  For example, I think that inner city crime is a more pressing matter.  How about all that police brutality?  Black men simply don’t have the time.

They should probably just put a B in front of the acronym to set themselves apart since I believe that MGTOW is uniquely a White man’s movement that addresses the concerns of White men with White women.  A rebrand is definitely needed.  Why not just call it “I Hate B!thches” because that’s what I get from their rants?  Black male support of MGTOW as it stands is completely ridiculous.  It is yet another contradiction with the movement.

MGTOW Encourages Feminism

OK seriously I am getting better.  I’m not watching near as many MGTOW videos on YouTube as I was.  I’ve been marking videos off as “not interested” when they appear in my recommendations, blocking MGTOW channels and mercifully I think I may have gotten blocked from a few of these channels.

But once in a while a video from the He Man Woman Hater’s Club pops up and I can’t help but indulge.  The MGTOW (Men Go Their Own Way) crowd abhor feminism and blame it for a lot of society’s ills.  However, they unwittingly encourage it with their attitudes and behavior towards women.

MGTOW gentlemen do not want to commit to women, co-habitate with them or raise traditional families.  They do not want to share their resources with women.  They are not even nice to women or like them.  It sounds to me that if a woman is smart she had better be able to make her own money and not be dependent on anyone for her survival.

MGTOW believes that women should seek out husbands and become mothers after high school.  If they had it their way women wouldn’t even finish high school and they would just become wives, or something like that when they are young teenagers.  But MGTOW believes that women are over the hill or “hit the wall” meaning they are undesirable and probably unable to have healthy children at thirty years old or not before.

These men do not express any love, affection or loyalty to any women.  So once they have used a woman for her youth and child bearing potential I’m not sure if they would honor their commitments as husbands.  MGTOW doesn’t speak much about raising families or creating legacies through family.  They only talk about women for breeding purposes like they are show dogs.

Most people live far beyond age thirty so women had better be prepared for that part of life because that lasts far longer than the PYT (Pretty Young Thing) part lasts.  Just like Judge Judy says, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever”.  And men are fickle.  If you don’t believe me just search out a MGTOW article on YouTube.  If you’re a single woman it will make you more focused and ambitious than ever before.

Beauty-Fades-Dumb-Is-Forever-Quote-By-Judge-Judy_408x408

One of the shortcomings of making marriage your end all be all is that even if you marry a great person and have a wonderful relationship people die.  Even if your spouse leaves you comfortable financially which MGTOW has no interest in doing, you will undoubtedly be left lonely and in the same condition as the cat ladies that MGTOW maligns.

It’s interesting to me how people manifest more of what they hate.  If MGTOW really wanted to prove to women that they were missing out on something they would choose a woman that they consider virtuous (they have a very thin line for what they consider to be a virtuous woman so good luck finding her) and treat her like a queen.  Instead that they speak about women horribly, flaunt their own bad habits and judge women for being human.  Who needs that?

MGOTW 2

I see a lot of videos on You Tube that focus on men complaining about women.  It’s truly fascinating to hear how some men feel about the dating and mating game and their frustrations with the matter.  Most of these complaining men would describe themselves as MGTOW.  Men Go Their Own Way.

I ran across a video today titled “Pretty is No Longer Enough” which I didn’t have time to watch but I read the comments.  Men expressed that they felt women valued looks and sex too much.  They also said that they didn’t trust women that were attractive because there they have too many other options.  These men also resented what they called simps.  To my understanding simps are men that cater to women in order to win them over.

MGTOW makes some valid points.  I agree that women put too high of a premium on outward appearances and sex.  But with most of what MGTOW says their theories fall apart once you dwell on them too much.  MGTOW resents attractive and sexually adventurous women because they are playing men’s games.  Men trained women to dwell on looks and sex because that is where a great deal of man focus lies.

I’ve seen this play out in nightclubs and on social media.  Women who act slutty are the ones that get male attention.  Modesty doesn’t cut it.  If men were interested in a women’s character porn wouldn’t be the profitable industry that it is.  Men can’t get enough of female sexuality on display.

Men are very interested in how their female partners look.  When you look at successful men their wives are often interchangeable.  Look up the wives of NFL quarterbacks and most of them are blonde, blue eyed, young and thin.  Or she is light skinned, slim-thick with “good hair”.  That image of womanhood gets promoted and other men want a women like that in order to feel successful.  So why shouldn’t a woman that has the look of a successful man’s wife hold out for a successful man?  She would be a fool to not do that.

I made the decision several years ago to not engage in sex unless or until I marry.  When I’ve told men that they have completely evaporated.  I’ve tried my luck on dating websites and men have asked me what I was looking for on the site.  I said I would love to find a husband.  Some of them immediate unmatch me.  They aren’t looking for the same thing or at least they are not looking for a commitment from me.

I’ve been told on dating websites, by men that have slid into my DMs on social media and gentlemen that I’ve met here or there that they want to be friends with a woman first and then see where it goes.  This translates into I want to have sex with you while I get to know your personality and if I don’t get tired of you after a few months maybe I’ll take you out or something.  Sex is at the forefront of most men’s minds when meeting women for social purposes.  They are not primarily looking for a sweet, submissive nature and good wholesome morals like they say they are.

MGTOW men are bothered because a lot of women are playing the game.  Most women do not set the standard of purity until marriage.  They have decided to go ahead and sleep around and see where things lead the way men do.  And a lot of young women don’t make commitment a priority.  I don’t know if that is what they really want or if they are just taking what they can get because they know that most young men aren’t interested in commitment.

The MGTOW men that I’ve seen on YouTube are between thirty five – fifty.  I have a feeling that they avoided commitment to women during their younger years and now that they are older they want a woman with old fashioned morals and values after they, themselves have probably had numerous lovers.

They blame feminism for the modern mores of women but I bet many young women wouldn’t really think of themselves as feminists.  They are simply following where men lead and playing the game that men laid out.  Unless a woman has some sort of religious standard that tells her to wait for marriage it’s unlikely that she would value chastity.  Maintaining purity is an uphill battle and it comes with a lot of rejection.

I don’t blame young women for behaving as they do and men shouldn’t either.  Most probably don’t know God so they are just doing what they think will make a man happy.  They focus on looks and sexuality.  They are competing for the best mate on the marketplace and they have been trained to believe being pretty and making yourself sexually available to men is the best way to do it.  Women haven’t been taught differently and without God’s word they won’t see the folly in their ways.

But it’s highly hypocritical for men to be angry at women for playing the game that they take advantage of until they age out of the system.  If men really want to see changes they should live up to their own Puritanical standards.  It seems to me that if they did that everything would fall into place.

 

Most Social Media Dating Advice is Pure Garbage! (but listen to this)

The vast majority of dating advice that is dished out on social media is absolutely ridiculous.  I don’t think that a lot of these people have even had more than three dates with the same person.  But I am here to help with my bit of dating advice and it may be the last advice you need and I have career experience to qualify what I am saying.

Like pairs up with like.  That’s it.  If you haven’t met that special someone yet it’s not that there is necessarily anything wrong with you.  It’s you just haven’t met your match yet.  I worked in the jewelry retail business for about six years on a part time or full time basis.

I sold jewelry for companies such as Zales, Kay, Helzberg and a small local jeweler.  I helped couples shop for engagement rings and gifts.  The thing I noticed over time is that couples mirrored each other.  Quiet people were with quiet people.  Outgoing people were with outgoing people.  Intellectual was with intellectual.  Arrogant linked up with arrogant.  You get the picture.

I think the biggest barrier people have with dating is not staying in their lane.  One of my favorite TV shows is “90 Day Fiance”.  It’s a reality show that tells the stories of couples that were in international romances navigating the immigration system, family turmoil and culture shock.  A common theme on the show is people trying to date people that are significantly younger.

In most of the couples the only way the older person has the opportunity to date a person in their twenties is if they have an economic edge.  If the younger party was from the US they most likely wouldn’t consider the older person for romance.   Most of these people are not wealthy so they go overseas and choose a partner from a poor country.  The result is a hit TV show but most of these relationships have struggles and some fail.  They didn’t stay in their lane.

I don’t think dating is about hitting a mark.  It’s about finding someone that compliments you.  One thing that I don’t think people understand is that you don’t have the right to expect something out of a person that you don’t offer yourself.  You shouldn’t expect to date someone fit if you’re not in shape.  You can’t judge someone for their amount of sexual partners if you’ve been on the ho stroll for years.  You don’t deserve someone with good finances if you are terrible with money.

Even if you attracted someone that was your ideal your differences may cause many struggles if you’re able to find common ground at all.  If you’re a neat freak you probably won’t get very far with a slob.  A pious person probably wouldn’t get along with an atheist in intimate circumstances.  The list goes on and on.

Throw out all value judgements on who society tells you to love.  Be honest about what you have to offer and find someone that complements you.  When I worked in the jewelry business I met a lot of well cared for women that didn’t look like supermodels and had probably been around the block a bit but their men fit the same description.  I’ve heard stories of couples meeting in AA meetings and detention in high school.   Look for love where you are and from someone that reminds you…of you.