MGOTW 2

I see a lot of videos on You Tube that focus on men complaining about women.  It’s truly fascinating to hear how some men feel about the dating and mating game and their frustrations with the matter.  Most of these complaining men would describe themselves as MGTOW.  Men Go Their Own Way.

I ran across a video today titled “Pretty is No Longer Enough” which I didn’t have time to watch but I read the comments.  Men expressed that they felt women valued looks and sex too much.  They also said that they didn’t trust women that were attractive because there they have too many other options.  These men also resented what they called simps.  To my understanding simps are men that cater to women in order to win them over.

MGTOW makes some valid points.  I agree that women put too high of a premium on outward appearances and sex.  But with most of what MGTOW says their theories fall apart once you dwell on them too much.  MGTOW resents attractive and sexually adventurous women because they are playing men’s games.  Men trained women to dwell on looks and sex because that is where a great deal of man focus lies.

I’ve seen this play out in nightclubs and on social media.  Women who act slutty are the ones that get male attention.  Modesty doesn’t cut it.  If men were interested in a women’s character porn wouldn’t be the profitable industry that it is.  Men can’t get enough of female sexuality on display.

Men are very interested in how their female partners look.  When you look at successful men their wives are often interchangeable.  Look up the wives of NFL quarterbacks and most of them are blonde, blue eyed, young and thin.  Or she is light skinned, slim-thick with “good hair”.  That image of womanhood gets promoted and other men want a women like that in order to feel successful.  So why shouldn’t a woman that has the look of a successful man’s wife hold out for a successful man?  She would be a fool to not do that.

I made the decision several years ago to not engage in sex unless or until I marry.  When I’ve told men that they have completely evaporated.  I’ve tried my luck on dating websites and men have asked me what I was looking for on the site.  I said I would love to find a husband.  Some of them immediate unmatch me.  They aren’t looking for the same thing or at least they are not looking for a commitment from me.

I’ve been told on dating websites, by men that have slid into my DMs on social media and gentlemen that I’ve met here or there that they want to be friends with a woman first and then see where it goes.  This translates into I want to have sex with you while I get to know your personality and if I don’t get tired of you after a few months maybe I’ll take you out or something.  Sex is at the forefront of most men’s minds when meeting women for social purposes.  They are not primarily looking for a sweet, submissive nature and good wholesome morals like they say they are.

MGTOW men are bothered because a lot of women are playing the game.  Most women do not set the standard of purity until marriage.  They have decided to go ahead and sleep around and see where things lead the way men do.  And a lot of young women don’t make commitment a priority.  I don’t know if that is what they really want or if they are just taking what they can get because they know that most young men aren’t interested in commitment.

The MGTOW men that I’ve seen on YouTube are between thirty five – fifty.  I have a feeling that they avoided commitment to women during their younger years and now that they are older they want a woman with old fashioned morals and values after they, themselves have probably had numerous lovers.

They blame feminism for the modern mores of women but I bet many young women wouldn’t really think of themselves as feminists.  They are simply following where men lead and playing the game that men laid out.  Unless a woman has some sort of religious standard that tells her to wait for marriage it’s unlikely that she would value chastity.  Maintaining purity is an uphill battle and it comes with a lot of rejection.

I don’t blame young women for behaving as they do and men shouldn’t either.  Most probably don’t know God so they are just doing what they think will make a man happy.  They focus on looks and sexuality.  They are competing for the best mate on the marketplace and they have been trained to believe being pretty and making yourself sexually available to men is the best way to do it.  Women haven’t been taught differently and without God’s word they won’t see the folly in their ways.

But it’s highly hypocritical for men to be angry at women for playing the game that they take advantage of until they age out of the system.  If men really want to see changes they should live up to their own Puritanical standards.  It seems to me that if they did that everything would fall into place.

 

Most Social Media Dating Advice is Pure Garbage! (but listen to this)

The vast majority of dating advice that is dished out on social media is absolutely ridiculous.  I don’t think that a lot of these people have even had more than three dates with the same person.  But I am here to help with my bit of dating advice and it may be the last advice you need and I have career experience to qualify what I am saying.

Like pairs up with like.  That’s it.  If you haven’t met that special someone yet it’s not that there is necessarily anything wrong with you.  It’s you just haven’t met your match yet.  I worked in the jewelry retail business for about six years on a part time or full time basis.

I sold jewelry for companies such as Zales, Kay, Helzberg and a small local jeweler.  I helped couples shop for engagement rings and gifts.  The thing I noticed over time is that couples mirrored each other.  Quiet people were with quiet people.  Outgoing people were with outgoing people.  Intellectual was with intellectual.  Arrogant linked up with arrogant.  You get the picture.

I think the biggest barrier people have with dating is not staying in their lane.  One of my favorite TV shows is “90 Day Fiance”.  It’s a reality show that tells the stories of couples that were in international romances navigating the immigration system, family turmoil and culture shock.  A common theme on the show is people trying to date people that are significantly younger.

In most of the couples the only way the older person has the opportunity to date a person in their twenties is if they have an economic edge.  If the younger party was from the US they most likely wouldn’t consider the older person for romance.   Most of these people are not wealthy so they go overseas and choose a partner from a poor country.  The result is a hit TV show but most of these relationships have struggles and some fail.  They didn’t stay in their lane.

I don’t think dating is about hitting a mark.  It’s about finding someone that compliments you.  One thing that I don’t think people understand is that you don’t have the right to expect something out of a person that you don’t offer yourself.  You shouldn’t expect to date someone fit if you’re not in shape.  You can’t judge someone for their amount of sexual partners if you’ve been on the ho stroll for years.  You don’t deserve someone with good finances if you are terrible with money.

Even if you attracted someone that was your ideal your differences may cause many struggles if you’re able to find common ground at all.  If you’re a neat freak you probably won’t get very far with a slob.  A pious person probably wouldn’t get along with an atheist in intimate circumstances.  The list goes on and on.

Throw out all value judgements on who society tells you to love.  Be honest about what you have to offer and find someone that complements you.  When I worked in the jewelry business I met a lot of well cared for women that didn’t look like supermodels and had probably been around the block a bit but their men fit the same description.  I’ve heard stories of couples meeting in AA meetings and detention in high school.   Look for love where you are and from someone that reminds you…of you.