TRIGGER WARNING: Sad Songs About How Romantic Relationships Can Completely Destroy Your Sense of Self Worth

Romantic relationships are a high stakes gamble because your heart is on the line. If you are relatively happy with yourself and live a content life as a single person a romantic partner can be a liability. You offer your heart to another person and it gives them a powerful position in your life. They can make you feel like a queen or king or a pauper.

Here are a few songs that illustrate how romantic partners can completely destroy your sense of self worth and outlook on life. Choose carefully and be careful who you entrust with your heart. Can you think of any others.

Naomi Raine and Maverick City Music

Maverick City Music is a popular Christian Contemporary band. Christian Contemporary music has fallen off sharply since the early 2000s. It all sounds the same and the singers are interchangeable. Maverick City fits the mold. Their music is typical Christian Contemporary and the singers are talented but their voices all have a similar quality.

I feel like most Christian Contemporary singers are male. They sound similar to a lot of Alternative Rock Bands from the 90s. A few sound like Joe Cocker. I enjoy Joe Cocker’s voice but there is a man who sounds just like that in the American Idol auditions every year.

This describes the men in Maverick City Music. The White men sound like they belong in alternative rock bands and the Black men sound like Joe Cocker and his sound alike American Idol hopefuls. There are a lot of people in Maverick City Music. It’s hard to tell exactly how many.

Maverick City Music ends up trending on occasion because the singers make questionable social media posts. They have made political statements that rile up so called conservatives, one of their wives twerked in a wedding photo, the same newlywed couple took a wedding photo that simulated a sexual position. Recently one of the singers posted photos on a party bus possibly in the nude. That’s not even to mention their affiliation with Kirk Franklin whose family matters have become public.

Then there is Naomi Raine who is the star of Maverick City Music. Her name never comes up in the mish mash and her voice is outstanding. She should leave Maverick City Music where it is and start a solo career. She carries the band on her back publicly and probably in private. I’m sure it’s exhausting.

Jesus carrying the cross on Good Friday

I really don’t follow MCM very close and that’s how I know who the star is. It’s Naomi. The other people who’s names get circulated on social media are done so in relation to some sort of unnecessary foolishness they posted. I know Naomi because of her performances.

Naomi Raine carries MCM like Christ carried his cross with her beautiful voice. The rest of MCM is a distraction. The latest internet gossip about her band mate’s nude party bus photos would be a great opportunity to launch a solo career.

I don’t really care what happens with MCM because they sound like clowns. All of their problems start because of things they post on social media. It’s hard to tell if the members of Maverick City Music are even Christian because they were put together by entertainment executives the way Menudo and other boy bands were. We’re not dealing with the Mississippi Mass or Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir here.

Naomi deserves better. First of all the paychecks are probably kind of light with so many people in the band. She’s very talented and acts like she has some sense. She’s made a name for herself with her work as opposed to social media attention seeking and subsequent pearl clutching. I think she deserves a chance at a solid career away from the circus her band mates create every few months.

Christian Contemporary and Gospel Hits of the Early 2000s

A lot of great Christian Contemporary and Gospel music was created and enjoyed in the early to mid 2000s. Here are a few of my favorite songs of that genre and era. I don’t keep up with Gospel and Contemporary Christian as much as I use to.

I miss CDs and CD players in cars. I use to purchase CDs from the WOW! series every year. That and going to church kept me up with all the Christian music. I want to acknowledge that some of these artists have been involved in scandals or questionable behavior.

Here’s my walk down memory lane. This list is not exhaustive but I didn’t want to keep you all day. Enjoy the music.

80s Pop Lyrics Were Toxic!

If you’ve ever wondered what went wrong with Generation X study the lyrics to some of the pop songs from back when our parents were still together. This music is toxic. Baby Boomers were psycho in their prime years. It may be a good thing that they got divorced and left their children alone. Take a look at some of these lyrics about love gone wrong, a lack of boundaries, infidelity, low self worth and financial abuse. (Take this is jest.)

Women put their desperation on full display in the 80s. I listened to these lyrics for the first time in the last year. I was shocked to hear this from Diana Ross of all people.

Diana Ross Upside Down

I said upside down
You’re turning me
You’re giving love instinctively
Around and round you’re turning me

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

Instinctively you give to me
The love that I need
I cherish the moments with you
Respectfully I say to thee
I’m aware that you’re cheating
When no one makes me feel like you do

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

I know you got charm and appeal
You always play the field
I’m crazy to think you are mine
As long as the sun continues to shine
There’s a place in my heart for you
That’s the bottomline

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

Instinctively you give to me
The love that I need
I cherish the moments with you
Respectfully I say to thee
I’m aware that you’re cheating
But no one makes me feel like you do

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round
Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

Upside down you’re turning me
You’re giving love instinctively
Around and round you’re turning me
I say to thee respectfully

Upside down you’re turning me
You’re giving love instinctively
Around and round you’re turning me
I say to thee respectfully

I said a upside down you’re turning me
You’re giving love instinctively
Around and round you’re turning me

I say to thee respectfully
Upside down you’re turning me
You’re giving love instinctively
Around and round you’re turning me
I say to thee respectfully

Upside down you’re turning me

The SOS Band took feminine longing, anguish and delusion to another level.

SOS Band Just be Good to Me

Friends tell me I am crazy
And I’m wasting time with you
You’ll never be mine
It’s not the way I see it
‘Cause I feel you’re already mine
Whenever you’re with me (oh, oh, oh)

People always talkin’ about
Your reputation
I don’t care about your other girls
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

Friends are always tellin’ me
You’re a user
I don’t care what you do to them
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

You may have many others
But I know when you’re with me
You are all mine
Friends always seem to listen
To the bad things that you do
You never do them to me (oh, oh, oh)

People always talkin’ about
Your reputation
I don’t care about your other girls
Just be good to me (Oh, oh, oh)

Friends are always tellin’ me
You’re a user
I don’t care what you do to them
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Just be good to me

Life is a game of chances
So I’ll take my chance with you
And you, I won’t try to change
We talk about it and I
Never had a piece of you
And to have all of nothing (oh, oh, oh)

But just be good to me
In the mornin’
Just be good to me
In the afternoon or evenin’, oh, yeah
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

I’ll give you love, I will smother you
I’ll give affection, I won’t bother you
I’ll be good to you, you’ll be good to me, yeah, yeah
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

I’m not the jealous type, I won’t tie you down
When you need me, I’ll be around
I’ll be good to you, you’ll be good to me
And we’ll be together, be together

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (oh)
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (be nice to me, be sweet to me)
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (we’ll be good to each other)
(Oh, each and every day) just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (we will love each other, ooh, yes, we will)
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Just be good to me (oh, oh, oh)

In 1983 The Police gave us the stalkers anthem.

The Police Every Breath You Take

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take?

Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you

Since you’ve gone, I’ve been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around, but it’s you I can’t replace
I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please

Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take?

Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you
Every move you make
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

I’ll be watching you
(Every breath you take)
(Every move you make)
(Every bond you break)
(Every step you take) I’ll be watching you
(Every single day)
(Every word you say)
(Every game you play)
(Every night you stay) I’ll be watching you

I’ll be watching you
(Every single day)
(Every word you say) Whoo, hoo
(Every game you play)
(Every night you stay) I’ll be watching you

I’ll be watching you
(Every single day)
(Every word you say)
(Every game you play)
(Every night you stay) I’ll be watching you

I’ll be watching you
(Every single day)
(Every word you say)
(Every game you play)
(Every night you stay) I’ll be watching you…

The Human League wrote a song about being jealous of a woman’s coming of age and success.

The Human League Don’t You Want Me

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up
And turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too.

Don’t. Don’t you want me?
You know I can’t believe it when I hear that you won’t see me
Don’t. Don’t you want me?
You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me

It’s much too late to find
When you think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!
Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I’d find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good at times
I still love you
But now I think it’s time I lived my life on my own
I guess it’s just what I must do

Don’t. Don’t you want me?
You know I can’t believe it when I hear that you won’t see me
Don’t. Don’t you want me?
You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me

It’s much too late find
When you think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!
Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!

Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!
Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!

Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!
Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh

Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!
Don’t you want me, baby?
Don’t you want me? Oh!

Here’s another song about a man using money as leverage in a relationship.

Oran Juice Jones The Rain

I saw you (and him, and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I’ll never be the same

Tossing and turning another sleepless night
The rain crashes against my window pane
Jumped into my car–didn’t drive too far
That moment I knew I would never be the same

Cause I saw you (and him, and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I’ll never be the same

Now here you are begging to me
To give our love another try
Girl I love you and I always will
But darling right now I’ve got to say goodbye

Cause I saw you (and him, and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I’ll never be the same

I saw you (and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I’ll never be the same

Hey, hey, baby, how you doin’, come on in here
Got some hot chocolate on the stove waitin’ for ya
Listen, first things first, let me hang up that coat
Yeah, ‘n’ how’s your day today, did ya miss me?
Oh, you did, yeah, I missed you, too
I missed you so much I followed you today
That’s right
Now close your mouth
Cause you cold busted
That’s right, now sit down here
Sit down here
So upset with you I don’t know what to do
‘n’ my first impulse was to run up on you
And do a Rambo
Whip out the jammy and flat-blast both of you
But I ain’t wanna mess up this thirty-seve hundred dollar lynx coat
So instead, I chilled
That’s right, chilled, then I went to the bank
Took out every dime
And then I went and canceled all those credit cards
Yeah
All your charge accounts
Yeah
I stuck you up for every piece of jewelry I ever bought you
Yeah
That’s right, everything
Everything
Did fool out with me
Naw, don’t go, you ever go, don’t go looking in that closet
Cause you ain’t got nothing in there
Everything you came here with–

Is packe dup and waiting for you in the guest room
That’s right, what was you thinking about, huh?
What were you tryin’ to prove, huh?
You’s with the Juice
‘n’ I gave you silk suits, Gucci handbags, blue diamonds
I gave you things you couldn’t even pronounce
Now I can’t give you nothin’ but advice
Cause you’re still young
That’s right, you’re still young
I hope you learn a valuable lesson from all this
You know?
Gonna find someone like me one of these days
Until then, know what you gotta do?
You gotta get on outta here with that
Alley-cat-coat wearin’
Hush-puppy-shoe-wearing’
Crumb cake I saw you with
Cause you dismissed
That’s right, silly rabbit
Tricks are made for kids, don’t you know that?
You without me: like cornflake without the milk
It’s my world–you just a squirrel, tryin’ to get a nut
Now get on outta here
Ah!
Don’t touch that coat!

Adultery carrols.

Atlantic Starr Secret Lovers

Here we are the two of us together
Taking this crazy chance to be all alone
We both know that we should not be together
‘Cause if they found out
It could mess up, both our happy homes

I hate to think about us all meeting up together
As soon as I looked at you it would show on my face
Then they’ll know that we’ve been loving each other
They can never no, oh no, we can’t leave a trace

Secret Lovers that’s what we are, we shouldn’t be together
But we can’t let it go, oh no, cause we love each other so

Sittin at home I do nothing all day
But think about you and hope that your ok
Hoping you’ll call before anyone gets home
I’ll wait anxiously, alone by the phone

How could something so wrong be so right
I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight
Living two lives just ain’t easy at all
But we gotta hang on and after fall

Secret lovers that’s what we are
Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let it go, cause what we feel is oh so real
So real

You and me, are we fair
Is this cruel, or do we care
Can they tell what’s in our minds
Maybe they’ve had secret love all of the time

In the middle of makin love we notice the time
We both get nervous cause it’s way after nine
Even though we hate it, we know it’s time that we go
We gotta be careful, so that no one will know

Secret lovers, that’s what we are
Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
‘Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let it go
‘Cause what we feel is oh so real
So real

You can tell a lot about a culture from it’s art. This is art from the 80s and it says a lot about relationships between men and women just as pop music tells us a lot about relationships now. I’m kidding around in this post. I’m not trying to be super sensitive, politically correct or cancel anyone (not that I could). These are historical observations that I find interesting and kind of humorous. I love the 80s!

BONUS TRACKS

Only in the 80s could a song about child abuse become a pop hit. What were we thinking? Suzanne Vega dropped this gem in 1987. It’s about a boy getting his ass beat and the neighbors heard it through the walls. This seems to have been a regular occurrence yet no one saw fit to call the cops. Oh well, it was catchy. The 80s were madness I tell ya!

Suzanne Vega Luka

My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you’ve seen me before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was

I think it’s because I’m clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it’s because I’m crazy
I try not to act too proud

They only hit until you cry
And after that you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore

Yes I think I’m okay
I walked into the door again
If you ask that’s what I’ll say
And it’s not your business anyway

I guess I’d like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don’t ask me how I am
Just don’t ask me how I am
Just don’t ask me how I am

My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you’ve seen me before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was

They only hit until you cry
And after that you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore

This song actually made it to number eight in 1991 on the Billboard 100 chart. It was the early 90s so I’ll throw it in. Crystal Waters made a song about homelessness into a dance hit. That’s right, a song about homelessness and probably mental illness sent party goers to the dance floor during this era. It’s kind of morbid when you think about it.

The winds are blowing every morning
Just to do her hair now
Because she cares you all

Her day oh wouldn’t be right
Without her make up
She’s never had a make up

La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da

She’s just like you and me
But she’s homeless, she’s homeless
As she stands there singing for money

La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da

In my sleep I see her begging
Reaching police
Although her body’s not mine
I ask now I do, now I do

She’s just like you and me
But she’s homeless, she’s homeless
As she stands there singing for money

La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da

She’s just like you and me
As she stands there singing for money

La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da

Know me
Did you know, did you know
Did you know

Dua Lipa and Jonathan: A Case Study in White Womanhood

For context: I don’t know one song by Jonathan aka known as DaBaby. I am familiar with him through You Tube celebrity gossip channels that discuss his behavior. Jonathan is a menace to society. He has been implicated in murders, he and his security have brutalized fans, he has been a jerk in general. He isn’t loyal to his children’s mother or perhaps mothers. I can’t cancel Jonathan because I never supported him.

I enjoy Dua Lipa. She makes catchy pop music. Dua specializes in dance music which I appreciate. She also represents traditional femininity and sex appeal which I appreciate and is becoming increasingly rare.

Recently Jonathan was performing at a show and he made vulgar comments about AIDS and the LGBT community. Crude, mean behavior is typical for Jonathan. But his past deviant behavior has been in the Black community or someone working in the service industry. This time he offended the LGBT community and was taken to task for it.

Whatever works. I’m glad the LGBT community is taking the trash out. A win is a win. But I do find it to be unfortunate that his behavior was tolerated before. I didn’t realize how much mainstream appeal Jonathan had until he was cancelled. It’s interesting to me that so many people thought it was acceptable that he hit a female fan in the face and his security put a male fan in a coma for approaching him at a show. Jonathan was the toast of the town despite being accused of taking part in murders that happened in the Black community.

All of Jonathan’s past misdeeds were overlooked when he was seen as a hot commodity that can make White people some money and give them clout. I have found that that is how a lot of White women operate. They are friends with people when it’s convenient and beneficial but they often times are not genuine friends. When Jonathan’s behavior caught up with him Dua promptly distanced herself. She never really cared about his character or lack thereof. She just didn’t want to take the heat that came with associating with a fool.

Dua Lipa’s relationship with Jonathan is professional and I don’t expect her to stand up for him in any way. Self preservation is always key. My problem is the way she cozied up to him in the first place despite him being a sociopath. All of that was put to the side when she thought Jonathan would help her star shine a little bit brighter. That’s why I reject feminist notions of all women being a part of a sisterhood. Nope. Don’t be a sucker. There is no sisterhood. There is a hierarchy.

The feminism notion of a sisterhood benefits White women. It has done nothing for Black women and I think it will do damage to Black women in the future through trans ideology which further pushes a White standard of feminine beauty. Dua Lipa wasn’t thinking of any sisterhood when she decided to work with Jonathan. But obviously she knows how to take a moral stand. Hmm. Interesting.

I’m focusing on Dua Lipa because she is the person that disappointed me in this situation. She’s the one I liked. But she isn’t alone. Pop legends Madonna and Elton John made it clear who matters to them and who doesn’t as did concert promoters that had Jonathan booked for several shows this summer.

Clearly, Black people are disposable. Service industry workers are of no consequence. The music industry has no problem buddying up to a musician that disrespects and damages people that are of little value to them as long as they make a few bucks.

In my experiences with White women they interact with Black people under certain circumstances and situations. For example, a White co worker will be friendly at work but will act like they don’t see you if they run into you on the weekends. White girls at college are buddy buddy at school but if they run into you at home they act like they don’t know you. That’s why I never believe White people when they say they have Black friends in order to give themselves some type of credibility.

The Dua Lipa/DaBaby debacle reminds me of White women I’ve met and their situational friendship.

Spring Book Review: Let Love Rule – Lenny Kravitz

I recently finished reading the autobiography of rock start Lenny Kravitz, Let Love Rule. I enjoyed reading the book and I would recommend the book but there are conditions. I’m biased because I’ve been a Lenny Kravitz fan since the 90s. People that aren’t fans of Lenny Kravitz may find the book to be a bit dull.

Lenny Kravitz has a charmed life. He spent his early childhood in New York City in the 70s and early 80s. I’m grateful to have grown up in the 80s because children had more independence and a sense of safety. At the same time there were not as many children only spaces so children had the opportunity to observe adults more. They just had to stay out of adult business.

Lenny grew up playing on NYC streets with friends and when he was a bit older riding the subway himself to museums like The Met and exploring art. Lenny’s parents were a sophisticated couple and exposed Lenny to fine restaurants and theater as a child. Lenny crossed paths and even had close relationships with entertainment legends. One night while out with his dad Lenny met Frank Sinatra. His godmother was Cicely Tyson and her husband was Miles Davis. Lenny’s stylish parents enjoyed entertaining and he described himself as having numerous glamorous aunts. That is great for character building.

When Lenny was in middle school his mother was cast as Mrs. Willis on The Jeffersons. He was disappointed in having to leave New York but he resettled in sunny southern California and his parents bought a home in the hills overlooking Los Angeles. LA is where Lenny discovered his love of music and developed his talent.

Lenny had a contentious relationship with his father. Their personalities clashed. Lenny’s father spent time in the military and he didn’t mesh well with his free spirited son. Lenny and his dad fell out so badly during his teen years that Lenny got kicked out of the family home and was homeless for a while. But Lenny’s father was key to his success and prosperity in many ways.

Lenny Kravitz married Lisa Bonet in Las Vegas in his early twenties and had a baby shortly after. Lisa and being a young dad were also key to his success. Lisa helped him become more comfortable with who he was as a young man and being a father grounded him. The book ends after the release of his album Let Love Rule. I hope Lenny writes another autobiography because I want to know more about his career, his marriage, his divorce, fatherhood and acting career.

Lenny’s life is pretty wholesome so his story is not one with a lot of action, trauma or tragedy which is what propels most stories these days. Some people may find it a bit dull. But I’m a Lenny fan so I enjoyed the book. Lenny has a very blessed and glamorous life even with the pit falls and false starts. I would recommend this book.

Meaningless Observation: Derelict Buildings in 90s Music Videos

I noticed a theme in a few 1990s music videos.  Derelict buildings were used as the back drop for a lot of the videos of the time.  I researched my theory and I realized that the  musical group Prodigy is responsible for a lot of that imagery.  It looks like all of their videos were made on the same dank set.  But aside from Prodigy a few others used similar images.

I’m not going to hypothesize why this is.  I don’t know that there is a why.  Sometimes a thing is just a thing for no particular reason.  So here’s my collection of 90s videos with dark, derelict imagery.

 

I don’t listen to much alternative rock but I enjoyed this song and remember the video playing in MTV very well.

 

 

This is borderline.  Natalie’s apartment wasn’t that bad.  It just looked like an urban hipster apartment.  This video probably started the urban gentrification of American cities.

 

Whose house is this?  Did they break in and start performing their choreographed routine? 

 

Lisa brought a feminine touch to this empty, raggedy apartment.

 

This video is creepy and sexy at the same time.

The Feminist Nonsense Continues: Lizzo at the Lakers Game

I’m not even sure where to start with this.  In case you haven’t heard I’ll recap the insanity.  Pop star Lizzo went to a Lakers game in a loose T shirt dress with a cut out at the behind which exposed her bare cheeks and black thong.  During the game Lizzo was put on the jumbotron and she did a little dance.  It was cute but then she turned around so the camera can get a look at her bare butt cheeks and thong while she continued to dance.

I was appalled by it but there’s a lot of shocking things going on in the world today.  I was prepared to file this away and move forward.  But then Lizzo and her dress with the butt cut out became a trending topic and Lizzo went on a rant on IG.  And here is where the problem starts for me.  Lizzo is quoted as saying “if you don’t like my a$$ you can kiss it”.  We weren’t thinking about her a$$ until she showed it to us.

The so called #bodypositive rant is what made this incident a feminist and “woke” talking point on You Tube this week.  Lizzo is a #bodypositivity ambassador and the body positivity movement rubs me the wrong way.  I’ve seen #bodypositivity posts all over Instagram and they come across as a manipulative scam.

#bodypositivity is a way to get women out of their clothes.  #bodyposi convinces women that they have to take off their clothes in order to prove that they love their bodies and are confident women.  The #bodyposi community believes that bearing it all is a way to conquer insecurities.

The #bodypositivity movement really has very little to do with confidence and being happy with yourself.  It has more to do with seeking attention and validation.  I have more respect for #thirsttrapthursday posts.  At least they are completely honest in their intentions and they aren’t fake woke.

The #bodypositivity and modern feminist movement is telling women that they should seek to be lusted after.  Modern feminism and #bodypositivity are not seeking to have women valued as a human beings and individuals.  The focus on a woman’s body and not anything else she can offer the world.

Lizzo is beautiful, talented, energetic and charismatic.  I wouldn’t have noticed that she is heavy without her pointing it out.   Her size and feminist activism is part of her brand despite the fact that she is a well trained classical flutist and rapper (what a combination) with a great stage presence.  Lizzo has a great deal to offer the world but instead she chooses to focus on a$$.

She is selling herself short and the image that she puts out of herself is cartoonish.  I feel like she is living up to stereotypes about larger women, particularly large Black women.  Lizzo claims to be standing up for women that don’t have slim bodies but she presents full figure in unflattering ways when it would be very easy for her to project a stylish image.  She has the goods and resources to do so.

I’m curious about what Lizzo was expecting when she turned her bare backside to the jumbotron camera.  Was she expecting a round of applause?  She received criticism from showing her thonged behind in public (shocker) and then she went into victim mode and told everyone that they were criticizing her because she is big and Black.  She didn’t take into consideration that her actions would be seen as uncouth to some if not most people.

But Lizzo isn’t the biggest problem.  The biggest problem are the social media feminists.  They say that the world was trying to police her body because she is a Black with a lot of meat.  She could have worn almost anything without criticism but she chose something that she knew would be controversial.  Those of us that find her taste and behavior to be questionable are now being made out to be bigots and chauvinists.  This is emotional blackmail.

It’s not our job to validate every person when they do things for shock value or out of desperation.  And we don’t have to give positive reinforcement to Hollyweird and rich n word culture.  This Lizzo situation is almost a real life version of The Emperor’s New Clothes.  

Lizzo could do a lot to represent full figured women by just being the talented and beautiful woman that she is but she’s wasting this opportunity with her shenanigans.  I do not think that the activism that she is becoming known for will sustain her career as a musician.  If no one’s told Lizzo this, you’re pretty and talented.  You don’t need to pull childish pranks.

 

Shannon’s Christmas Playlist

It’s Christmas music season and here is a short playlist with a few of my favorite songs.  Have a happy holiday season and enjoy the music.

 

I love Stevie Wonder’s voice and this is song has a very sweet sentiment.

 

This song has become a classic.  I remember when it was new.  I bought it on cassette and played it for years until my tape player broke.

 

This is probably my favorite Christmas song and I love the video.  The 80s fashions put it over the top.

 

Who else but The Temptations could make Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and R & B classic?

 

If The Temptations only made this one track they would still be legends.

 

I love this song.  It’s pure happiness and joy.

 

Little Drummer Boy is one of my favorite Christmas songs.  I love what Justine Bieber did here.

 

No one sings like Whitney Houston.