International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day was Friday, March 8.  I thought nothing of it on Friday because I don’t know how to observe the day.  Do we go shopping, bake a cake, have a parade or what?  Beats me.

But over the weekend I ran across a video on YouTube of an Air Force service woman complaining about her subordinates having bad attitudes.

 

The soldiers post is bad enough but as always the comments underneath the video were far more extreme.  I read dozens and dozens of comments expressing disdain for and superiority to Black women.  YouTube is a haven for those who hate Black women.  Insults to Black women can be found underneath videos that have absolutely nothing to do with Black women.  I read this stuff and I’m like, sheesh can I live?  I’m just minding my business and trying to live here.

There is a YouTube host by the name of Tommy Sotomayor that has been preaching his hatred of Black women on social media for years now.  His success has inspired copy cats and their sentiment is repeated all over YouTube and Twitter.  I’ve come to the conclusion that the easiest way for a Black man that isn’t a celebrity to gain a large social media following is by degrading Black women.

tommy sotomayor Tommy Sotomayor

Stereotypes are usually based in truth but I still don’t find the perceptions that people have of Black women to be fair.  I am familiar with “Black attitude” and have encountered it.  I’ve dished some out.  So I’m not saying that “Black attitude” doesn’t exist.  I’m just saying that it is misunderstood and sometimes justified.

Hostility towards Black women has been very open in the media for years.  As I pointed out before it is all over the place and the Black community is not even a safe place from it because Black people often hold the most hostility and do a lot to perpetuate the harmful stereotypes.

Black women are often described as terrible mothers, terrible domestic partners, terrible people and ugly.  I’ve seen numerous social media posts telling Black women  that we are the so called bottom of the barrel women.  With so much negativity aimed at Black women I don’t understand why anyone is surprised that they would have attitudes or feelings of bitterness and resentment.  It is inevitable that all of the negativity would affect the image of Black women and girls.

Black women are often put down for the way they present themselves.  A lot of Black women wear hair weave around the world.  In countries outside of the US skin bleaching seems to be common.  Men that enjoy degrading Black women by telling them that they need to learn to love themselves.

What people choose to ignore is that European features are the standard of beauty globally and women of African descent that alter their appearance to look more European are trying to compete.  They are competing for economic opportunities and the affection of men.  Black women often feel that they need to make themselves look more European to gain the attention of Black men.

Black women are human beings and like all human beings they are seeking out validation and love.  Black women are fighting to gain economic resources in this modern economy.  Most of us are raised to believe that we need to alter our appearance to look more European in some form in order to do that.  Anyone that says that looking more African and less European in this world is an asset is not speaking the truth.

So that covers the why of some of the actions of Black women but that’s not where the bias stops.  I admit.  Some Black women have an attitude and are easy to trigger.  But so are a lot of other women that aren’t Black.  Why aren’t those women stereotyped as having bad attitudes?  In fact, when certain races of women have temper tantrums men think it’s cute, sexy and exciting.

 

If you take a gander at my profile pic you can clearly see that I am a Black woman.  I think I’m a pretty nice and easy going person.  I don’t like to be at odds with people or have conflicts.  But I’m not afraid to stand up for myself.  And I’ve noticed as a Black woman there are times when I have had to struggle to be heard.  When I don’t stand for being treated poorly or I feel the need to make myself clear so I can ensure that I am being heard and understood people often like to act is if I am the aggressor and they are the victim.

All a Black woman needs to do is stand up for herself or assert herself and many people will be offended by it because the woman that they deem as beneath them or bottom of the barrel is asking for fair treatment.  Others actually enjoy the nasty stereotypes of Black women.  It gives them a fool to laugh at and someone to make them feel superior.  I have had problems in the American workforce for not fulfilling the Black woman stereotypes.  A Black woman will be left in peace if she plays the role that others thinks she should play.

I grew up in the Detroit area and now I live in Kansas City, MO.  I’ve always lived places with sizeable Black populations.  So indeed, I have met unpleasant Black women but I’ve also met a lot of sweet as pie, smart, professional, family oriented, hard working, feminine, full of personality and drop dead gorgeous.  In fact, I think that most Black women are lovely people.  Most of the people that I have been close to and supported me in my life have been Black women.  I have absolutely no reason to put down Black women or try to put a different race of women on a pedestal.

Black women are like everyone else and should be judged as individuals.  Give us a break.  And no, I’m not pleading with anyone to like or love us.  That is a personal matter.  But I don’t think that we deserve the constant degradation that we receive.  It’s not even as if we are being accused of pulling off mass shootings or drive bys.  Even if you buy into the stereotypes we still really aren’t all that bad.  How can we be?  Black women don’t hold much power in society so we aren’t even able to hurt anyone.  I don’t understand how we became the boogeyman.

As far as the soldier that made that video I have some theories about why she has a problem with her subordinates but I will keep that to myself.  My hypothesis is not politically correct and would do nothing but hurt feelings and spread negativity.  I know when to keep my mouth shut.  I only know what this soldier shared in her profanity laced tirade which said a lot about her.

This woman clearly loves drama because there are other, less public, more professional and mature ways that she could deal with disrespectful subordinates.  I’m sure the Air Force has some sort of disciplinary system in place to deal with valid complaints.  And this lady said she wanted to fight the Black women that reported to her.  For goodness sakes that’s not lady like at all.  Is violence really necessary?  I’m thinking that she is the problem here.

So anyway the world really needs to back off of Black women and girls.  We don’t deserve the hostility.  We’re just trying to live our lives.  In the past year or so I’ve heard of about three stories of elementary school aged girls committing suicide because of bullying at school.  One news report said that a girl was being teased because of her hair.  She looked like an average little Black girl with two Black parents to me.  This negativity has consequences.

The mainstream American feminist movement rarely addresses the concerns of Black women.  Body positivity and other modern feminist causes exist to improve the conditions of affluent White women that only seem to have cellulite to worry about.  So in honor of International Women’s Day please, give Black women a break.  We’re having a hard time out here.

#TeamTristan

Tristan Thompson is back at it!  He’s making headlines again.  It’s not for playing basketball.  The Cavaliers are 13 – 46 and in the fourteenth place out of fifteen teams in the east.  He’s back in the gossip news for cheating on his baby mama Khloe Kardashian with her sisters ex room mate Jordyn Woods.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m completely in favor of loyalty, fidelity and long lasting, loving relationships between men and women.  But this isn’t that.  There is no evidence that this is a respectful relationship at all.  It all just looks like a big confusing mess from the beginning.

The internet says that Khloe began seeing Tristan while his other baby mama was pregnant with his other child.  Shortly thereafter Khloe got pregnant with her daughter.  The internet says he cheated during Khloe’s pregnancy as well.  After their daughter True was born there was some Kris Jenner manufactured drama on social media.  Tristan was the villain, Khloe was the victim and the bystanders discussed what Khloe should do next.

Just like in old soap operas Khloe did exactly what she shouldn’t do.  She pursued a romantic future and family life with a notorious philanderer.  I don’t know what Khloe expected from this.  I’m certainly not surprised that Tristan cheated on her.

I haven’t heard any declarations of love from Tristan to Khloe.  I haven’t heard of an engagement between the two.  Nor have I heard about an elopement.  Tristan Thompson is a single, successful man that can do as he pleases.  He’s nobody’s husband.

You see this is what happens when boundaries and lines are blurred.  You get confusion and hurt feelings.  People get taken advantage of in gray, undefined areas.  Gray undefined terms and conditions are like smoke bombs that are intended to cause confusion and make it harder to see clearly.  It’s kind of like when the Joker throws smoke bombs in “Batman”.

Romantic partners that aren’t your spouse don’t owe you anything.  Hopefully they care about you enough to protect your feelings but you are taking your chances.  You aren’t entitled to loyalty and devotion from a person to whom you have not married.  You also don’t owe it to anyone.  Tristan doesn’t owe any of his baby mamas a thing.  If they really wanted Tristan for the long haul they would require marriage.  If he was not interested in that type of a commitment they would know that they are barking up the wrong tree and they need to pursue other relationships.

These vaguely defined relationships aren’t doing anyone any favors.  Men and women seem to be unhappy with each other and both sides get used and taken advantage of.  Women get taken advantage of for sex and other favors.  Men get taken advantage of for financial reasons or are pressured to marry because of the child they probably didn’t want.

There are no real winners.  There is a purpose behind marriage and we should honor it.  If you choose to take the new aged approach to relationships you will probably end up suffering in some regard whether you are a man or woman.  Don’t expect old fashioned results with new aged behavior.

Kylie & Jordan

Black Men and MGTOW

I ran across a MGTOW video today and it confirmed what I suspected was at the roots of the MGTOW movement.  MGTOW is White people’s business.  I’ll explain.  MGTOW men seem to resent White women for educating themselves and opening up economic and career opportunities.

I’m a firm believer that the only rule to dating and marriage is that people date and marry their equivalent unless there is an exchange such as youth and beauty in exchange for financial security.  When White women became more educated I’m sure it made things more difficult for average White men.  Educated White women probably wanted an educated White man and if she couldn’t find what she wanted she had the option to remain single.

White men on MGTOW YouTube channels express their resentment for educated White women often.  They also seem to resent these women and their urbane, cosmopolitan attitudes.  Educated White women were striving for nicer things, elegant surroundings and they may be more open to inter racial dating.

Average White men seem to begrudge all of this.  These educated White women are a little out of their league.  Even if the average Joe makes more money than college Susie they may not have much in common because of Susie’s education and broader options.  Joe’s options are now limited and he has to compete for Susie’s attention.  If he can find a woman that he is happy with then he moves on to wedded bliss.  If not he can fall back on  MGTOW.

I’ve seen many Black men that support MGTOW.  They really need to think of something different.  I don’t think that anyone owes it to like anyone and I think it’s acceptable to not marry for whatever reason.  But Black men should not be speaking in favor of MGTOW because they look foolish.

Read the comments under this video.

Black MGTOW men are linking arms with White men that are mad at White women for making education and careers a priority instead of breeding more White babies.  I don’t understand why Black men don’t see this and I don’t know why they have adapted MGTOW as their cause.

The Undead Chronic channel has genuinely given me a few laughs and I think he makes some good points.  But he mentions that the young woman is pretty much untouchable to him after Chad, Tyrone and I believe he said Abdul have been “up in there”.  He is degrading this White women for potentially having lovers of a difference race.  (I understand they degrade women for having lovers in general but if race wasn’t an issue he would have left it at Chad).  But Black men consistently wave this flag all over YouTube.  Sigh.  I don’t know what to tell them.

There are a lot of problems in the Black community and I think that Black men should focus their energy on something other than disdain for women.  Even if they don’t want to marry or involve themselves with women Black men have much bigger fish to fry than MGTOW concerns.  For example, I think that inner city crime is a more pressing matter.  How about all that police brutality?  Black men simply don’t have the time.

They should probably just put a B in front of the acronym to set themselves apart since I believe that MGTOW is uniquely a White man’s movement that addresses the concerns of White men with White women.  A rebrand is definitely needed.  Why not just call it “I Hate B!thches” because that’s what I get from their rants?  Black male support of MGTOW as it stands is completely ridiculous.  It is yet another contradiction with the movement.

MGTOW Encourages Feminism

OK seriously I am getting better.  I’m not watching near as many MGTOW videos on YouTube as I was.  I’ve been marking videos off as “not interested” when they appear in my recommendations, blocking MGTOW channels and mercifully I think I may have gotten blocked from a few of these channels.

But once in a while a video from the He Man Woman Hater’s Club pops up and I can’t help but indulge.  The MGTOW (Men Go Their Own Way) crowd abhor feminism and blame it for a lot of society’s ills.  However, they unwittingly encourage it with their attitudes and behavior towards women.

MGTOW gentlemen do not want to commit to women, co-habitate with them or raise traditional families.  They do not want to share their resources with women.  They are not even nice to women or like them.  It sounds to me that if a woman is smart she had better be able to make her own money and not be dependent on anyone for her survival.

MGTOW believes that women should seek out husbands and become mothers after high school.  If they had it their way women wouldn’t even finish high school and they would just become wives, or something like that when they are young teenagers.  But MGTOW believes that women are over the hill or “hit the wall” meaning they are undesirable and probably unable to have healthy children at thirty years old or not before.

These men do not express any love, affection or loyalty to any women.  So once they have used a woman for her youth and child bearing potential I’m not sure if they would honor their commitments as husbands.  MGTOW doesn’t speak much about raising families or creating legacies through family.  They only talk about women for breeding purposes like they are show dogs.

Most people live far beyond age thirty so women had better be prepared for that part of life because that lasts far longer than the PYT (Pretty Young Thing) part lasts.  Just like Judge Judy says, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever”.  And men are fickle.  If you don’t believe me just search out a MGTOW article on YouTube.  If you’re a single woman it will make you more focused and ambitious than ever before.

Beauty-Fades-Dumb-Is-Forever-Quote-By-Judge-Judy_408x408

One of the shortcomings of making marriage your end all be all is that even if you marry a great person and have a wonderful relationship people die.  Even if your spouse leaves you comfortable financially which MGTOW has no interest in doing, you will undoubtedly be left lonely and in the same condition as the cat ladies that MGTOW maligns.

It’s interesting to me how people manifest more of what they hate.  If MGTOW really wanted to prove to women that they were missing out on something they would choose a woman that they consider virtuous (they have a very thin line for what they consider to be a virtuous woman so good luck finding her) and treat her like a queen.  Instead that they speak about women horribly, flaunt their own bad habits and judge women for being human.  Who needs that?

My Disenchantment and Disappointment with NFL Football and it’s Players

I have been a sports fan for a long time.  I have loved it and pro sports has brought a lot of enjoyment into my life.  I admire the athleticism and grace of the athletes.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to admire youth more and more and pro sports is a celebration and display of the blessing of youth, strength, good health and a competitive spirit.  I’ve looked up to pro athletes for years and they’ve been heroes to me.

But it’s not only important to have a strong body and have physical gifts.  You also need to have a strong mind, spirit and sense of self.  I’m not sure that most pro athletes have that.  Recently the significant other of a man that plays for the San Die…I mean LA Chargers posted a video of herself, her baby daddy Jaheel Addae, some other Black NFL players and their non Black significant others at dinner making a toast to light skinned babies.

There is something creepy and sinister about a blonde haired, blue eyed woman making a toast to eugenics and promoting social engineering.  It was like we were getting an inside look at a Hitler youth meeting that Black men were allowed to join due to their annual earnings after taking a pledge of allegiance to White supremacy and it’s standards of beauty.

I am a dark skinned, Black woman that is forty four years old, never married and without children.  A lot of people are going to belittle what I am saying and write it off as jealousy and bitterness.  That’s usually what happens when dark skinned Black women try to speak out against being belittled as women or question European features being put on a pedestal.  But I am not jealous nor am I bitter.  But I am questioning if I should invest in an institution that is made of men that devalues Black people and run by people that seem to be using it as a vehicle to assert White standards of feminine beauty.

I feel the need to say that I am not against inter racial dating, marriage or mixed race children.  The United States is an ethnically diverse country and friendships and romantic relationships are bound to happen in this day and age.  Great.  The strange thing is the way that these relationships get glorified and glamorized at the same time that Black women with two Black parents are often put down and degraded.

I’m not really surprised by the toast that was made and broadcast over Snapchat because I’ve always known that light skin, so called good hair and White features have been esteemed among Blacks for centuries.  I just never knew how much it was valued and how much Black women that look Black were vilified until social media became such a presence.  I’ve come to see what so many people really think.

I also think it’s very strange that this woman posted that video on Snapchat.  I think it was very bold and it seems hard to believe that she and her baby daddy wouldn’t know that the toast would rub some people the wrong way.  This came after a Chicago Bears player proposed to his White, fair haired girlfriend and then old tweets of hers became public.  She made some rude remarks about race and she said that she loves  to see Black men with White women and Black women with White men because she knows they will have cute children.  This type of thinking has always made my flesh crawl.

The player that verbally made the toast didn’t say cheers to the lovely ladies in our company or cheers to true love and happiness or prosperous families.  He said cheers to being light skinned, the closest thing to White we’re ever going to get.  That’s it.  They were celebrating being welcomed into White society and leaving Blackness behind.

Visualize White football players taping a similar toast.  Everyone would question if they were a part of the Alt Right.  These young Black men are pretty much a part of the Alt Right whether they realize it or not.

If you think a person with one White parent and one Black parent is more attractive than a person with two Black parents then you probably think a person with two White parents is superior to everyone.  That is racism in a nutshell folks.  And the NFL has been feeding us images of  men of African descent putting fair hair White women on a pedestal for decades now.

As time goes on I think that fewer things are organic and most things in the media, even social media are intentional and put in front of the public in order to manipulate the masses.  That’s especially true when you’re talking about a money making juggernaut such as the NFL.

It’s not hard to see that the NFL uses their space in American culture to promote certain agendas.  It’s also clear that they pander to a White audience.  It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think that they would want to reach out to White women in a way so they feel as if they have a place in the NFL.  This may seem far out to some of you but when I look at the media and other sources of information and apply some objective and critical thought it’s amazing to me how White people affirm themselves.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Europeans do not tolerate not being the center of, well everything.  Even if something markets itself as a Black organization or event they end up putting a White or at least the Whitest, non Black American face to it that they can find.  If the majority of Black ball players were married to wholesome Black women and created wholesome Black families I have a feeling some White people may resent the NFL and see it as a vehicle for Black prosperity.  White people have a history of destroying anything that brings about Black affluence.  If you don’t believe me search Rosewood, Florida, Black Wall Street or even labor unions.

I’m not even angry at the young men that made that toast to light skinned kids on Snapchat or the Bears player that proposed to the borderline racist woman on the field after winning a game that sent them to the Playoffs.  I’m really just embarrassed for them.  They are brawn and no brains, heart or pride.  They are puppets desperately trying to gain acceptance from mainstream culture.  It’s very sad to watch.

It’s like when you see someone doing something to make themselves look foolish and every knows they are being foolish except them and it’s hard to look them in the eye.  The kindest thing to do is to look away and act like you don’t see what’s going on.  That’s what I may have to do with the NFL which is sad because we have had some great times and I thought I would always be a fan.  I’ve stood by the NFL through a lot but this is a bit too much to bear.