Why I Don’t Completely Support BLM

What’s wrong is wrong. George Floyd’s murder was wrong. Breonna Taylor’s murder is wrong. There are countless other acts of law enforcement that I think are wrong. It’s obvious to me that there is a bias against Black people by law enforcement and the criminal justice system. I do not believe that a government entity should hold the power that police officers and police unions hold. But I still don’t completely support Black Lives Matter.

Black Lives Matter is a Transgender Rights Organization

https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/

BLM is an organization that promotes gender neutrality. Part of their mission statement is to tear down what they call cis gender privilege and promote Black trans women. I’m not a feminist and I believe that gender roles create healthy boundaries that protect women and girls. I believe that women benefit from a patriarchal society that respects women and femininity.

I don’t agree with gender non conforming politics. Gender non conforming beliefs diminish respect for women. I think that blurring the line between male and female is a way to further break down an individual’s identity so they can be controlled, used and taken advantage of in some way.

Black American women have never been offered the type of chivalry that other women have. We’ve often been labeled as masculine and have been treated as such. I think the results of this are more single parent Black households, more Black women being killed and beaten by their partners, Black women dying in childbirth and higher infant mortality. Excepting the belief that people with men’s bodies are women would be a further detriment to Black womanhood.

I support a man expressing himself in a feminine way or presenting himself as a woman. I respect a mature individual’s choice to have gender reassignment surgery. But I believe that womanhood is more than how a person identifies. If society adopts the idea that gender is a matter of identity women will suffer for it socially, mentally and physically. That is especially true for Black women.

The Work of Black Advancement Needs to be Centered in the Black Community

A common phrase in the media is that Americans need to have conversations about race. No we don’t. The US has made itself clear that it does not value equality and fairness for Black Americans. America has made it very clear that White supremacy is a priority. Black people should not waste their energy appealing to the majority in this nation for fairness. Black Americans need to use their resources and opportunities to create stability for themselves, build healthy Black families and thriving Black communities.

If Black Americans had more working class, middle class and affluent Black communities they would have a local government and police force that answers to them. Black Americans need to build communities where they can sit on a park bench without harassment or go jogging without suspicion. Most Black Americans strive to leave Black communities and join White ones once they reach a level of affluence.

Many Black communities are poor and rife with problems. Those outside of the community come into Black neighborhoods in order to exploit whatever resources are there. There isn’t a strong infrastructure in Black communities and the infrastructure that is there was not created by Black people. It’s usually created by the government and small business owners that do not respect or like Black people.

The next phase of Black civil rights needs to be Black independence and pride. We need to become more financially independent and improve our health, spiritual wellness and interpersonal relationships. More attention needs to be paid to building Black families and communities and creating a Black infrastructure so we are not dependent on those that simply seek to exploit Black people.

I don’t think our current complaints within the US will be solved by marches or demonstrations. The solution to the problem is to have areas where the Black community and tax base runs the police force, public schools and owns most if not all of the local businesses. Black Americans have the resources to do this but the will and vision is what’s missing.

BLM Does Not Support Traditional Families

America has sought to destroy Black families throughout most of it’s history. The Black family has been undermined in the media. However, most Black children grew up in a home with their mom and dad until the drug wars of the 1980s. Drug trafficking brought about mass incarceration of Black men and street violence which made Black communities unlivable, not a good places to invest and killed many more Black men.

Many Black men were not available to become husbands and fathers. Part of the culture shifted from a family and faith based culture to a street culture that didn’t value traditional families and legacies through children. Without traditional Black families there is no future for Black people in America.

The next revolution needs to be a quiet one that focuses on nurturing Black children and giving them the necessary tools to become successful adults in American society. I’m forty five years old and I’ve never married or had children. The traditional Black family isn’t my cause at this point in my life. But I won’t support any organization or philosophy that subverts Black families.

A Lot of the BLM Protests Look Silly

Some of the protesters look silly. I’ve seen women in the streets wearing tube tops and booty shorts. That doesn’t seem practical if you are going into an environment where a disturbance may break out. There is a viral video of a protester twerking in the street in front of a line of police cars. In a different viral video a woman performed stripper moves in front of a different police force in protest.

People are in the streets playing drums and dancing with bare feet. Keep in mind protests have turned violent. I saw a video of protesters doing yoga in the street. A young man yelled tearfully to the police for fairness at one demonstration. I’ve seen more than one young protester hug police officers. Young children are marching.

In other words a lot of the protesters are not acting like they want to be taken seriously. They are not acting like they have a list of concerns that they want heard or a list of demands to be met. The demonstrators are very emotional and don’t appear to be very organized.

I agree that Black live matter. Government agents should not be given the power to execute and torture citizens on the street. But police forces do not seem to be interested in changing their policies in the interest of civil rights and earning the trust of the Black community. I am not going to beg and plead for anyone else to see that my life as a Black woman matters. I will never degrade myself by asking for my life to be validated by mainstream American society which is what I think that BLM is doing.

Begging for acceptance in a country that your family has been in for centuries is undignified. Black empowerment and independence is going to come from Black individuals, families and communities. The real revolution needs to be a quiet one.

Black Americans are no longer enslaved or limited by segregation. The next step in our evolution as Americans needs to be using our resources which includes human resources to build prosperity for ourselves, those near us and the future. That’s the only kind of transformation I’m interested in at this point in history. The changes that I want to see won’t trend on Twitter or be on the evening news. There is no need for me to take to the streets for true and long lasting change.

The Early 2000s: The Worst Decade for Fashion in the History of Mankind

We are a few months away from a new year and decade. There’s an old adage that says that hindsight is 20/20. It’s a little ironic that I came to the conclusion that the early 2000s was the absolute worst decade for fashion in the history of mankind just before the year 2020. Sometimes it takes a while to come to terms with your past. Consider yourself fortunate if you were not born yet or were still too young to make your own sartorial decisions.

mean girls

“Mean Girls” 2004

I saw a picture on Pinterest today of a red carpet event that took place in the early 2000s. The image brought back memories of my own terrible fashion choices from that time. We all looked a mess. We all looked a bit slutty, unfinished, sloppy, with big curls in our hair and heavy make up.

2003

Me with blonde streaks in my hair and a suitor in 2003.

I don’t know who we should blame for the lost fashion decade at the turn of the century. Forever 21, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Destiny’s Child can all shoulder a bit of the blame. The film “Mean Girls” did their part to bring about the Thotpacalypse. But most of the blame lays squarely at the feet of every day women that walked around with flared jeans, heels and bare mid drifts.

Who remembers when there use to be a thing called “going out tops”? Going out tops were available at such places as Forever 21, Wet Seal and Charlotte Russe. They cost between $5-$20. Sometimes you might even find one you like at a gas station or Walmart if you needed a new one after 10:00pm for an event you were attending.

prince

Me at a Prince concert with a purple wig circa ’99-’00.

I remember when it all began. There came a time when young women in America and probably world wide could not buy clothes that met in the middle. The pants were all low-waisted and the shirts were all cropped. Even blouses that were intended for business casual wear were that way. If you had a job working in a bank or in a law office or something you had to find a way to modify the outfit as to not reveal your belly button. I relied on tank tops and blazers.

I was twenty five in 2000 so I followed the trends of the time when I was out socializing. I learned to cover my belly for church and work. I also became very conscious of keeping my underwear and butt crack covered. Butt cracks and exposed thongs were an epidemic in the early 2000s. We can blame Sisquo for that.

“Thong Song” 2000

Hindsight is 20/20 and I have come to the realization that the early 2000s were the dark ages of fashion. It was dreadful and I’m glad it’s over. Thank God Instagram hadn’t been invented yet.

note: The video on early 2000s fashion featured sunglasses with rhinestones. I loved that trend but I was not able to pursue that trend the way I wanted because I need prescription sunglasses. However, Isaac made those shades trendy in the 70s, the golden age of style and fashion.

isaac hayes

“New Horizon” 1977