Tag: Aretha Franklin

Black Women are Human and Humans aren’t Always Nice

Social media loves to harp on Black women that aren’t so sweet or come off as self serving. They will fixate on it for days. If a Black woman is snarky, mean, puts herself first or isn’t cheerleadery the public takes great offense to this and hopes for her downfall.

Black women are human and sometimes humans aren’t nice. All humans are different. If a Black woman isn’t super nice to you get over it. She doesn’t owe you anything anyway. People that you don’t know don’t owe you nice.

Men (all) are left to rape, steal, pillage and destroy. Some support their actions and make excuses for them. Non Black women often remain unscathed regardless of their words or actions because they are great at deflecting the matter or someone will stand up for them.

People insist that Black women be nurturing, supportive and sappily sweet at all times without fail. That expectation is exhausting. Who is doing all that for Black women? No one. The main people complaining about the women pictured above are other Black women. We all have that sweet and nurturing side to us. It’s reserved for who we want to share it with. It’s not for public consumption.

Black women aren’t being allowed a full range of personality traits the way others are. Black women aren’t being allowed to be human. It’s as if Black women can only exist within a very narrow range. Give people space space to be who they are. If you don’t like them give them enough space that you don’t see or hear from them. It’s that simple.

I’m not advocating being mean, haughty or arrogant. I’m just bringing attention to a double standard. All of these men have made careers by being blunt, direct, rude, mean, selfish and greedy. They are admired for it and their nastiness or gruff personality alone is what made them successful. Trump was elected president for being “politically incorrect” in other words rude.

Ironically, social media pundits that are critical of snarky Black women absolutely love Black women who are mean violent and clown themselves on reality TV and fight videos. They eat it up with a spoon. But if a Black woman in a position of authority or leadership acts like she’s in charge she’s seen as problematic.

I’m not advocating being a nasty person with poor manners. I have taken issue with Tyra and Wendy. Aretha was clearly a diva. Anyone speaking from a pulpit needs to choose their words carefully. But stop thinking every Black woman owes you nice all the time. It’s as if people want Black women to earn acceptance that they would freely give others. Black women are human and humans are not always likeable and nice but be fair.

Be What You Claim to Admire

The internet is still buzzing about the comments that Ayesha Curry made about her preference to dress modestly.  I’m really confused as to why such a mundane comment sparked any kind of controversy.  I actually didn’t see much disagreement to Ayesha’s comments.  I saw a lot of support for her opinion.  Many of the internet pundits that are supportive of Mrs. Curry choice to dress modestly are men.

These men used the opportunity to applaud modesty and to make backhanded “hos” that don’t.  Tweet after tweet was a man that praised this woman for choosing to keep her body covered for everyone except her husband.  Then they made a remark to all the “thots” that they were unmarried because they were too free with their bodies.

First of all who are all these hos and thots that internet men are always complaining about.  I use social media every day and I don’t see many of these women.  When I do I delete them.  This is how I know these men are full of crap.  Undesirable images and comments can creep into your news feed but for the most part each social media user sees what they choose to see.  If your news feed is jammed packed with half naked hos and thots you are looking for them.  And you like them.

In regards to Ayesha’s devotion to her husband one fact escapes many men.  Ayesha Curry is a Christian woman that married a Christian man.  Anyone that knows Stephen Curry knows that he is an active believer in Jesus Christ.  A Christian woman that chooses to save her sexuality for marriage will be attracted to a fellow believer in Christ.

If you want a particular quality in a partner you need to develop that quality yourself.  If you want someone that is intellectual you need to develop your intellect.  If you want someone that is honest you need to stop lying.  If you want someone that keeps a tidy house you can’t be a slob yourself.  If you want someone that practices modesty and sexual purity you need to practice that yourself.  And regardless of what you’ve been taught women look for leadership from men.

If is completely unrealistic for a man to think that he can glue his eyes to porn, hang out in strip clubs and go to bed with every woman that will allow it but still be able to marry a woman of conservative morals.  She won’t want you and the two of you will have nothing in common.  If you have no morals but you want a partner with morals you are a hypocrite that forces their opinions and values on other people and no one finds that attractive.  There is an Aretha Franklin song that says “If you want a do right woman, you need to be a do right man.”  Truer words were never spoken.

Aretha Franklin Do Right Woman, Do Right Man