Tag Archives: beauty standards

I am a forty two year old woman that will turn forty three in February of 2018.  People usually think I’m younger than what I am.  Sometimes people are a full decade or more off when they guess my age.  For the most part I have taken pride in this.  But lately it has begun to grate my nerves when I hear a person say that a woman looks great for her age.  What’s wrong with looking your age?  What exactly is a certain age supposed to look like?

As I have gotten older I have learned to appreciate what I call “grown woman sexy”.  Grown woman sexy is hard to explain or pin point.  But all I can say is that women don’t even start to have it until they are at least thirty two.  Grown woman sexy is physical beauty mixed with poise and sophistication.  Not many people have that in their twenties.

It’s a little perverse to me the way the world obsesses over youthful beauty.   There is a lot to be said about wide eyed, energetic, youthful beauty.  It is indeed lovely and I admire watching it on America’s Next Top Model, beauty pageants and in pro sports.  But if you are fifty and still trying to attract a beautiful twenty year old lover, any twenty year old lover, you’re a bit peculiar.  What’s wrong with other fifty year old people?  Why didn’t you snag your young dream lover when you were young and cute yourself?

I’m mostly posing these questions to men because women don’t seem to have the same hang ups on youth.  As I’ve gotten older I don’t have a problem with a receding hair line or a dad bod.  It’s kind of hot really.  And gray hair is sexy!  When you get older and you are on the dating market you need to face reality and deal with grown people ****.  I appreciate maturity and how it looks.

If I was a man I think I would appreciate a woman with a bit of a sloppy mid section.  I don’t think cesarean scars or stretch marks would be a problem.  I also think that laugh lines and crows feet add character.  Aging characteristics just make a lady look different but I don’t feel like looks are diminished until you hit the elderly stage of life.  A woman can be active and vibrant until she’s made it to that hip replacement age.  Until then live it up girls!

You couldn’t pay me to be in my twenties again.  It was fine while it was happening but there’s nothing about my twenties I want to relive.  I have grown so much and I have been very blessed so I feel that I have a lot to look forward to in life even once I make it (Lord willing) to hip replacement age.

I think that prime time for women is between thirty two – thirty seven (or older).  You are still young enough to take chances and enjoy the youthful pleasures of life but you’re too old to be naive and foolish (hopefully).  By the time you are in your mid thirties a woman has an education beyond high school even if it’s from the school of hard knocks.  And she has had some good and bad experiences that make her a more compelling person.

I honestly think the fixation people have with youthful female beauty is that a lot of men want to treat women like blow up dolls.  There is little appreciation for a mature woman’s point of view in this world.  (I think that’s how the U.S. ended up with Donnie for president).  Outside of marriage and motherhood American society doesn’t take much interest in the experiences of adult women.

I also think that making women feel bad about aging is yet another way men try to control women.  Society holds many judgments like this against women.  The number of sexual partners, failed relationships, children, weight and age are all used as indictments against women but not against men.  People will use anything on this list and you can probably think of a few more on your own, to tell a woman she isn’t good enough or worthy enough to be respected or loved.

If women don’t measure up to the standards that our culture has set for her she is told to settle and accept poor treatment from partners, poor wages from employers and little to no voice in the world around her.  The bias placed on aging women is probably the most cruel because she is being judged and punished for not dying.  What a message to send women as they start to get a few gray hairs.  Age is another device to control women.

Be mindful of telling a woman she looks great for her age.  If you want to give her a compliment just tell her she looks great.  Period.  Telling someone they look younger than what they are may be a matter of fact but not necessarily a compliment.  There is no reason why younger should automatically be considered better.

Enjoy the age you are and don’t look back.  You would be giving up too much if you did.  Be the best you that you can be at this point in your life.  Be grateful for all of your experiences.  They give you a rich history and give you stories to tell at parties.  And if you’re blessed this history plus exercise and eating right will help you achieve peak grown woman sexy.