The Reason Relationships Fail

There is one reason relationships fail: unmet expectations. That fact is true regardless of the type of relationship. Whether it be romantic, professional, friendship or family relationships they all end because expectations were not met . This essay is about romantic relationships. For context, this is from a heterosexual perspective. I believe that men should pursue and initiate and women set the parameters and standards for a relationship.

If the proper respect and communication is in place a relationship it can be salvaged through honest conversations and adjustments when expectations are not being met. Without the proper respect and communication the relationship will crumble due to the disappointment and hard feelings.

The beginning of dating relationships is great because you don’t expect a lot from people you haven’t known long. At the beginning of a dating relationship your suitor is a mere cute and charming stranger or casual acquaintance. It’s best to make your intentions and expectations know while the relationship is still new.

Unfortunately, people aren’t always honest about their intentions and they take advantage of the gray area that exists in a new relationship. Sometimes people have no idea what they really want so they go along to get along. The woman usually decides when the gray area should become more defined. The definition is on a graduated scale. The woman is usually the one conscious of the graduated scale.

People have define commitment in various ways 2021. It comes in the form of traditional marriage, co habitation or perhaps just a steady date and companion. Feelings and expectations change over time as a relationship goes on. Regardless of what commitment looks like a woman may feel that she is entitled to a certain level of respect and consideration in a longer relationship. If the man does not satisfy the woman’s expectations the relationship will begin to unravel.

The relationship can be saved through communication and coming to an agreement. If both parties value the relationship enough to save it an understanding needs to be reached in order to stay together in a harmony. Or they can agree to disagree and split up which is also a valid choice.

What often happens after a couple has been together for a while is that the woman is interested in a commitment or at least for the relationship to be clearly defined. She wants to know exactly how the man feels about her. She wants to know if there is a future with the man. Men often want to stay in the undefined, gray area as long possible. But the woman’s feelings are always going to change and grow with time if she has any genuine feelings for the man. With that comes greater expectations.

She will probably expect more from him as far as time, respect, affection commitment, etc. If he isn’t prepared to honor her expectations that the relationship will either end, they won’t get along or she will stay and be unhappy. It comes down to figuring out if you have the same goals in mind from the start, respect and communication. This is a make or break time for couples. It’s time to decide to break up or commit.

It’s all pretty simple but people are often dishonest from the outset and don’t communicate in riddles. A relationship like this is doomed to fail. I don’t think anyone should date before eighteen. Therefore, dating is for adults. Adults are responsible for communicating what they want. If an intelligent adult is acting like they can’t communicate and verbalize feelings after an adequate amount of getting to know the person I think they are being manipulative. Do with it as you will.

Love is a gamble but know when to give up. Some relationships can be like throwing your money into a lousy slot machine. In dating relationships it’s not hard to express how you feel about someone. If feelings are genuine you should be eager to let your partner know how you feel. You should want to assure your partner. In a cold world your relationship should be a warm, fuzzy safe place. Not a source of confusion, frustration, misunderstanding and stress. There’s nothing wrong with being a quitter.

Stories from the W Files

Night and day women and men across the world bravely serve the general public and suffer in order to make an honest living.  They meet people from every walk of life and every interaction is a story.  Some of the stories, like the individuals they meet are sweet, others are angering and some are just plain weird.  This is one of those stories.  This is a story from the W files.

I work at a Mexican restaurant that offers a Create Your Own Combo meal.  You get to choose two, three or four items from a specific list of dishes.  I served a table today and a woman asked for the Combo Two.  She said she wanted fish tacos and a bowl of soup.  I asked her if she meant the combo three.  She got frustrated and said she wanted the Combo Two.  I said, “OK, so you want one taco and a bowl of soup?”  She snottily replied, “Yeah whatever this is and pointed to the words fish taco on the menu.”

This customer had a Midwestern American accent which implies that she is a native English speaker.  She was an adult so I assume she completed her compulsory education.  But she didn’t seem to understand that an s on the end of a noun typically makes it plural which means more than one.  If you want more than one taco plus a bowl of soup I can not charge you for two items when you at least want three items. DUUUUUH!  Elementary school grammar was confusing for this woman.  Or perhaps pre school level math was her problem.  I’m unsure but the matter was resolved through my patience, diligence and customer service skills.  I’m a soldier.

The moral of this story is that grammar matters and words have meaning.  Grammar gives sentences meaning and makes language easier to understand.  Numbers also have meaning.  You can’t just say whatever the heck you want and expect someone that doesn’t know you from a hole in the ground to understand what you mean.  And please don’t talk down to the person that you confused with your ignorance as if there is something wrong with them because they don’t understand your personal version of the English language.  Apply some thought and critical thinking skills to your words and take responsibility for your communication skills.

Furthermore, attitude matters.  Everyone that has ever worked a customer service related job has stories about irritating and confused customers.  I really don’t mind giving a customer a extra attention.  It’s my job.  Heck, sometimes I need extra attention.  If the woman was not so snotty and arrogant there would not have been a real problem.  Mean, stupid and arrogant is a bad combination.

This has been a story from the W files.