Modern Dating Scam: Simp/Pick-Me

The terms Simp and Pick Me are commonly used on social media. A simp is a man that is agreeable and eager to please women. A pick me is the same towards men. Both can be defensive of the opposite sex. Social media tells these people that they should be ashamed of wanting to be desirable and get along with the opposite sex. If you’re heterosexual and desire to be in a romantic relationship you should be a simp or a pick me. It’s a manipulative scam to think otherwise.

No one wants to be in a relationship where they are at odds with their partner. Everyone wants someone that will be nice to them. Everyone wants someone that will cater to them. Those that spit simp/pick me at people as an insult try to convince others that their stupid social stances such as MGTOW and feminism will do anything but hinder them in a romantic relationships.

Why go into a relationship with notions such as I will never dress for the male gaze or women wanted equality so I’m not going to treat my girlfriend like a lady ? Heterosexual people are attracted to characteristics of the opposite sex. Men like to feel respected. Men like women they find attractive. Men like sex. Women like to feel protected. Women like gifts. Women like to feel pretty. Women like security. Women like sex. There is nothing wrong with that.

Just stay single or perhaps really consider if you’re even straight. Perhaps heterosexuality is not really for you. When I’ve had dates I certainly wanted to be appealing to men. When I’ve had boyfriends I’ve wanted to care for him. I expected the same in return. There’s no point in a romantic relationship if you’re not being validated. Of course your partner needs to appreciate and validate you as an individual but it’s very important to be appreciated as a man or a woman.

Simps and pick mes actually like and respect the opposite sex and want to see them happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. What people actually mean by simp/pick me is a man or woman that is desperate and a yes man or woman. I agree that that is a problem. A strong focus on seeking validation through romantic relationships can also be problematic. Otherwise just stop being difficult and be nice and likeable to your date or find another date.

Modern Dating Scam: Gratitude

Gratitude and appreciation is yet another modern dating scam pulled on women. Gratitude and appreciation is being used as emotional blackmail against women. It’s as if men and women think women should be grateful for any kind gesture a man offers a woman.

Kindness should be expected. Kindness from men should be the default. That’s particularly true if you’re spending time around men you know socially or romantically.

This video trended on Twitter a few weeks ago. It’s part of the reason I decided to deactivate my account. The ignorance is astounding and frustrating.

I suspect this is a made up skit that was produced and posted for engagement. That’s irrelevant because the commentary on this matter is the problem more than the video itself. In the video a woman is at a man’s house. She is upset because he has served her a steak dinner at his house but they made plans to go to the restaurant Capital Grille. This was their second date.

Much of the commentary said the woman had a bad attitude. Commenters said the man made a kind and romantic gesture by cooking dinner (I suspect it’s carry out) and surprising her. Commenters insulted the way she styled herself. Some said she should be dumped right away because she was quarrelsome.

The man lured the woman to his home under false pretenses. This is a great example of a “Bait and Swith” date. I wrote a dating scam post about “Bait and Switch” dates three and a half years ago.

The man was inconsiderate at best and sneaky and under handed at worst. He communicated poorly either unintentionally or on purpose in order to create a confusing situation he could exploit. Either way he broke her trust.

Men and women thought that she should go along with the man’s change of plans because he offered her dinner. That’s not the point at all. If the woman agreed to spend the evening in this stranger’s home she is taking a big risk. If something unfortunate happened to her during the evening many would blame her for spending time in a stranger’s apartment. The romantic gesture would be irrelevant at that point.

This is emotional blackmail. It seems that if a man make a kind and seemingly generous gesture a woman is obligated to accept and I suppose coo at his attention. Women are essentially supposed to allow themselves to be bought off at a low rate. If the woman questions the man’s intentions or rejects his offer because it made her feel uncomfortable she’s seen as unappreciative.

Romantic gestures are great. That’s what courtships and dating periods are for. Men need to understand that women are the vulnerable party between them and they should be respectful of that. Kind and sweet gestures should be exchanged between sweethearts but trust and respect is only gained through integrity, good character and time. Good communication and being considerate of your partner is key. Romantic dinners and gifts are great but building the foundation of a relationship is not a mere exchange of gifts. It’s much more mysterious and exciting than that.

Modern Dating Scam: No Liability

American culture likes to assume the moral high ground, assign liability to others and is completely delusional. This has resulted in no liability dating. It’s a scam and women tend to be the victims. The phrase “she should have chose better” is common in social media spaces. This phrase is used to absolve men of any poor behavior during a dating or domestic relationship with a woman.

You can hear this flippant and callous phrase on line in the comment section of news stories that concern domestic violence and even women that are murdered by their dates or partners. In other words men are telling women that they should proceed with caution and interact with them at their own risk because they hold no liability. I believe that any time there is a conflict or misunderstanding all parties involved need to consider what they could have done differently. That doesn’t happen in modern dating, at least not on social media. The liability is all on the women.

Violence and murder are the extreme but the imagined No Liability clause extends to disrespect, dishonor and confusion. Many men in these times take no accountability for their actions that result in hurt feelings, disappointment or worse. It’s as if women assume all risk in relationships even if the man was not forthcoming and honest in his intentions or his feelings during the relationship.

They seek out people that will be receptive to the scam and then they say No Liability. It’s their way of maintaining the delusion that they are good, decent people worthy of respect. It’s their way to shift responsibility and hold someone else responsible for their actions. This is an example of male privilege because this sentiment is echoed so often on social media with little push back. Women even support this thinking.

I appreciate businesses that have liability clauses. It lets you know where you both stand. It also gives you the opportunity to weigh the risks. If a liability clause is necessary the risk may make the venture not worth the pursuit. I’m not interested in extreme sports where the risk is the selling point of the activity. I also think the odds are in the riders favor when it comes to things like roller coaster rides or skating rinks. But hostile attitudes towards women in America have become very common. Misogyny is part of the current American culture.

I was watching a news story on You Tube today about the arrest of three young men that are charged with first degree murder with extreme indifference. The men were throwing rocks in different locations in their metro area. One of the rocks hit a young woman’s vehicle and she died as a result.

The three young men felt like throwing rocks for fun and amusement. We don’t know if they wanted to kill anyone or not but they showed extreme indifference to the safety and well being of others. This is the way many men date in this age. The majority are interested in their gain and use a woman’s lack of awareness, naivety, innocence, foolishness, insecurity or social pressure to their advantage. They have extreme indifference to any negative consequences to her that may come from their relationship.

I’m pro patriarchy so I support male leader ship. I believe that leaders assume responsibility. Leaders provide structure and and guidance. Leaders should have a good character, integrity and high moral standards. This is what men are supposed to do in relationships. Instead men are given space to mistreat and take advantage of women and women are told it’s their fault in the aftermath. That’s not patriarch, that’s a misogynistic and destructive culture. Up front and honest communication and respect is the key.

I do believe that women need to be smart and take responsibility for themselves. Women need to value and honor themselves. Women need to protect themselves physically, emotionally and financially as a priority. Women need to decide if a man is worth the risk. Remember. You’re going to be seen as the liable, responsible party if there is a bad outcome. It’s a man’s world and their honor is protected more than yours. Choose better!

Modern Dating Scam: The Normalization of Horrible Relationships on TV

Horrible relationships have been normalized by the media. Daytime and prime time TV, network and cable programming is filled with stories of betrayal, deceit, abuse and chaos between men and women. The dramatic and negative depiction of romantic and domestic relationships has changed how men and women interact with each other. Expectations have changed due to relationship dynamics on TV. The bar has been lowered.

Relationships are on TV are tense and dramatic in order to entice viewers. There isn’t much of a story if two people are happy, in love and get along well. No one will tune in to watch a couple share a pizza and fall asleep on the couch. As an avid trash TV watcher I know that the intrigue is the drama. So is sitting back and shaking your head at the poor choices being made.

Relationship turmoil on TV has become so normalized that I think some may look at their own relationship and think that it’s not bad because it’s not that bad. I also think many people don’t have real life examples of respectful and productive long term couples to use as role models or council. Unfortunately, the new standard seems to be that if no one has been lied to, beaten or verbally berated it’s a functioning relationship right? Wrong. A relationship can be terrible long, long before it becomes dangerous and tumultuous.

The standard for relationships needs to be high. There needs to be mutual respect, consideration for each other’s feelings, true friendship and affection. It’s also great if you’re attracted to each other. If you merely tolerate your partner or are being tolerated you are better off single. A relationship should enhance your life and bring you comfort, peace, support and joy.

There are lovers’ quarrels but constant friction means you’re not a good match. Differences should be able to be overcome through communication and compromise. If a relationship is like rolling a stone up a hill you’re likely better off and more productive as a single person.

Living in conflict and misery is not normal or healthy. Shoot for the stars instead of accepting the bare minimum. If the best thing you can say about your relationship is that the neighbors have never called the cops on you may be better off without the relationship. The bar needs to be raised across American culture. Even if ratchet TV is your guilty pleasure don’t let it set standards for your life.

Modern Dating Scam: On/Off Relationships

On again/off again relationships are a scam. If you date a person for a while you know each other well. They aren’t changing and you aren’t either. It is what it is and it’s OK if you aren’t compatible for a long term relationship. If you’re thinking of breaking a relationship off there is likely a good reason for it. If you’re not getting along in a courtship of a few months to a few years you probably won’t get along in a long term domestic relationship. Make a clean break and move on.

In an on again/off again relationship it’s likely that someone is scamming. The key to a good scam is making it last as long as possible in order for the scammer to extract what they need. A person that you’ve dated a while knows how you respond, knows your weaknesses and knows some of your triggers. It would be easy for them to yo yo you back and forth. A good partner isn’t going to take a relationship to the brink before responding positively to his or her lover’s needs. That is manipulative.

It’s disrespectful for a partner to leave a lover time and time again with the expectation of being taken back. I assume that the partner that leaves and returns is looking for something that their current sweetheart isn’t offering during the off times. The current sweetheart provides them with security, support and possibly. A security blanket won’t likely get their happy ending from a partner that runs hot and cold.

This is Shaun and the mother of his six children who he never married. He is now married to a woman he met on a prison dating website after a brief courtship.

On again/off again relationships are dangerous. I hear the story on again/off again on the news often after a woman is killed by an ex. Once the woman makes a break from the relationship it could be dangerous to return or yo yo back and forth. Once the woman makes it clear that she wants to end the relationship the man may become frustrated that he lost his influence and the woman might die due to domestic violence. Playing games with relationships could get a woman killed. This is particularly true for Black women.

It’s understandable that a dating couple has a lovers quarrel. That’s different than going through a cycle of breaking up and reconciling for years. Be intentional and deliberate. On again/off again relationships can be dangerous and are a waste of time and energy. Adults should be able to make definitive decisions about their lives without a lot of drama.

Stay Safe When Dating On Line

I have experience with on line dating sites. I’ve used different dating sites over the years. I’ve written about my experiences on this blog. This post isn’t about dating and relationships. It’s about staying safe. Staying safe is your number one priority.

I enjoy observing modern American culture. Anyone that is objectively observing American culture in 2022 should come to the conclusion that America is hostile towards girls and women. The hostility manifests itself in many different ways. One of the ways animosity towards women is being expressed is through deception, manipulation, violence and homicide.

Anyone can be taken advantage of by someone using a dating app to take advantage of others. It can happen to men or women of any sexual orientation. I am writing this is written from the point of view of a heterosexual woman. I believe we are the most vulnerable.

Men who seek to hurt women are using dating websites to lure women in order to abuse and kill them. I’m not going to quote statistics. Go on You Tube and look at local news stories from across the US. Men killing women is very common. Often women are killed by men they met on a dating website.

These are strategies I used while I was using internet dating websites. This is not about victim blaming. This is about protecting yourself and avoiding people and situations that can be harmful. That is the first line of defense. There is risk that goes along with giving men access to yourself. That means there is risk involved with being alone with men.

The odds are in your favor. Most men are not murderers or rapists. But enough of them are violent sociopaths for a single woman to be concerned about her personal safety while dating. The local news across the US is filled with stories of women going on dates and being robbed, raped or murdered. You have one life and if someone hurts or kills you there is no second chance. Avoid gambling with your property, body or life. A date and chance at romance is not worth the risk.

Take Your Time

When you meet people on line take your time during the conversation stage. Be judgemental and critical. Look for signs of anger, rudeness or that he is taking direction from so called dating gurus on social media. Those people are almost always toxic.

Don’t trust men that are in a rush. Con artists want to move quickly. They want to find a victim, exploit her and drain her with speed and stealth. Time is on women’s side. Any time you think you’re ready to meet a man in person. Wait a week. Don’t be anxious. If he has genuine interest and respects women he will wait until you are comfortable.

He’s a Stranger

Even if you’ve been talking to a man for a while he is still a stranger. You don’t know him. He is not your friend. Your date is a stranger and should be treated as such. Keep him at arm’s length and don’t make yourself vulnerable right away.

Have Strict Rules for Meeting Places

When I was meeting online dates I chose chain restaurants. Most American chain restaurants have a similar layout. They have windows wrapped around and they are surrounded by a parking lot. The windows create potential witnesses. Park as close to the door as possible. When you pull up to the restaurant try and find a parking spot in front of a window where customers are already seated.

A first meeting with a man you met on the internet is not about being wined and dined. It’s not a matter of being impressed. It’s simply a meeting just like a job interview where both sides put in face time to see if there is further interest on both sides.

Meet During Daylight

Meet during daylight. Make sure you have enough time so that you can leave and it’s still light outside. This gives you a better chance at having a witness if a man does something psycho. It also makes the date more respectable if you can leave before the sunsets. Part company after the meal. Staying out too late makes you vulnerable. You may get more relaxed. There are more opportunities for you to be hurt. A table in a restaurant is a fairly safe space.

Don’t Drink

Don’t drink on a first on line date. I don’t care if you like to drink. You’re better off going out alone after the date and having a cocktail. Drinking will make you less inhibited and vulnerable.

Don’t Share a Car

You’ve gone out with the guy and he seems nice. Great. He’s still a stranger. He’s not your friend. He’s not your boyfriend. Wait a long time before you get in his car or let him get in yours. Use your own transportation. If you usually get around town on the bus. Stay on the bus or call a cab. Don’t make yourself vulnerable and put yourself in the semi private environment of a car.

Let Someone Know Where You Are

I understand wanting to keep your dating life private from family and friends. But let someone know who you are spending time with and where you are going. Let a co worker, out of state relative, neighbor or someone know what’s going on. Let them know why you are telling them this. It’s good to have a person that will check back with you and make sure you made it back home. If something goes wrong at least there is a liaison to communicate with the police.

Don’t Let Yourself Be Bullied

Anyone that can’t understand a woman being cautious about meeting men on line does not care about women. They are not your friend and they are either foolish or seeking to exploit you. You as a woman are the vulnerable party. Stand your ground and maintain proper boundaries. If you’re not ready to go out don’t. If something seems off block.

Don’t Go Home With Him

I don’t mean to be a prude or the fun police but take a long time before going to his house. Sex with a stranger isn’t worth the risk. There are many risks but I’m talking about the immediate risk of being robbed and or killed. You’re the vulnerable party and you are leaving a lot up to chance by putting yourself in an intimate situation with a stranger.

Have Your Own Money

I don’t believe in going Dutch but be prepared to pay your own way. Be able to pay for your own meal if things go awry. Be able to get yourself home.

Men are victimized by people they meet on dating apps too. I write from my point of view as a heterosexual woman. We are the vulnerable party and that should not be forgotten. Be smart, strategic and not too anxious. Take your time and listen to your instincts. I want to emphasize take your time. Time is on the woman’s side at this stage of the relationship.

The Reason Relationships Fail part 2

Science is not my strong suit. But I do remember a few things from high school chemistry class. I remember doing experiments and if a chemical got contaminated the experiment was ruined and we had to start over or not get credit for the assignment. We were instructed on how not to contaminate the chemical in order to not waste time and risk failure. There were meticulous details on how to handle containers with the chemicals. Handling the chemicals and their containers was a lesson within itself.

Relationships fail because they become contaminated and later turn toxic. The contaminants are things like dishonesty, anger, mean words, disrespect and insincerity. Once a relationship is contaminated you may need to start over because it’s ruined. By starting over I mean find a new partner or be happily single. Starting over is disappointing but it’s better than trying to maintain a tainted relationship.

The best thing a new couple can do is try to keep the relationship pure by being nice, understanding, honest and having good communication. You have to handle each other with care. The extra effort is worthwhile unless you see the relationship as disposable from the start.

I remember that some experiments could be saved with another chemical that can clean contaminants. Patience, understanding and forgiveness can clean up toxins along with changed behavior. Sometimes the experiment is too far gone to be restored.

My conclusion is to keep a new relationship pure with honesty, good communication, and nice behavior. Don’t see relationships as disposable. Even if you don’t care about a relationship turning toxic because you see it as disposable you will contaminate yourself. Relationships can be detoxed with understanding and forgiveness but it’s never quite the same as it was before the toxins being introduced. Move forward with new relationships with caution. You don’t want irreparable contaminate your new pairing so you don’t have to start over with a new one or choose singleness.

The Reason Relationships Fail

There is one reason relationships fail: unmet expectations. That fact is true regardless of the type of relationship. Whether it be romantic, professional, friendship or family relationships they all end because expectations were not met . This essay is about romantic relationships. For context, this is from a heterosexual perspective. I believe that men should pursue and initiate and women set the parameters and standards for a relationship.

If the proper respect and communication is in place a relationship it can be salvaged through honest conversations and adjustments when expectations are not being met. Without the proper respect and communication the relationship will crumble due to the disappointment and hard feelings.

The beginning of dating relationships is great because you don’t expect a lot from people you haven’t known long. At the beginning of a dating relationship your suitor is a mere cute and charming stranger or casual acquaintance. It’s best to make your intentions and expectations know while the relationship is still new.

Unfortunately, people aren’t always honest about their intentions and they take advantage of the gray area that exists in a new relationship. Sometimes people have no idea what they really want so they go along to get along. The woman usually decides when the gray area should become more defined. The definition is on a graduated scale. The woman is usually the one conscious of the graduated scale.

People have define commitment in various ways 2021. It comes in the form of traditional marriage, co habitation or perhaps just a steady date and companion. Feelings and expectations change over time as a relationship goes on. Regardless of what commitment looks like a woman may feel that she is entitled to a certain level of respect and consideration in a longer relationship. If the man does not satisfy the woman’s expectations the relationship will begin to unravel.

The relationship can be saved through communication and coming to an agreement. If both parties value the relationship enough to save it an understanding needs to be reached in order to stay together in a harmony. Or they can agree to disagree and split up which is also a valid choice.

What often happens after a couple has been together for a while is that the woman is interested in a commitment or at least for the relationship to be clearly defined. She wants to know exactly how the man feels about her. She wants to know if there is a future with the man. Men often want to stay in the undefined, gray area as long possible. But the woman’s feelings are always going to change and grow with time if she has any genuine feelings for the man. With that comes greater expectations.

She will probably expect more from him as far as time, respect, affection commitment, etc. If he isn’t prepared to honor her expectations that the relationship will either end, they won’t get along or she will stay and be unhappy. It comes down to figuring out if you have the same goals in mind from the start, respect and communication. This is a make or break time for couples. It’s time to decide to break up or commit.

It’s all pretty simple but people are often dishonest from the outset and don’t communicate in riddles. A relationship like this is doomed to fail. I don’t think anyone should date before eighteen. Therefore, dating is for adults. Adults are responsible for communicating what they want. If an intelligent adult is acting like they can’t communicate and verbalize feelings after an adequate amount of getting to know the person I think they are being manipulative. Do with it as you will.

Love is a gamble but know when to give up. Some relationships can be like throwing your money into a lousy slot machine. In dating relationships it’s not hard to express how you feel about someone. If feelings are genuine you should be eager to let your partner know how you feel. You should want to assure your partner. In a cold world your relationship should be a warm, fuzzy safe place. Not a source of confusion, frustration, misunderstanding and stress. There’s nothing wrong with being a quitter.

Marry Smart: Book Review

Marry Smart is a relationship advice book for young, career oriented women by Susan Patton. I think it’s worth the read. It’s quick and Ms. Patton gives sound, practical and realistic advice to young women who aspire to marriage and motherhood.

Susan Patton is an HR professional and Princeton graduate who wrote a controversial letter to the editor of the campus newspaper of her alma mater. The letter advised young women to focus on finding a husband with as much or more energy as they do in starting a career. The letter garnered a lot of attention. Enough conversation was aroused by the letter that Susan wrote a book explaining her opinions on young women, careers, marriage and motherhood. I remember seeing Susan on morning TV programs like Today and The View when the book was released in 2014.

Susan was criticized in the mainstream and by feminists but what she was saying on the talk show circuit made sense to me. The author urges young women to be honest with themselves. If they want to marry and have children pursue that goal as they would any other. Be strategic. That’s the bottom line.

Susan states that the best time in a woman’s life to find a husband is while in college. She advises young women to make finding a spouse a priority while they are young and in school because that’s when youth, social surroundings and fertility are in a woman’s favor.

The odds of finding a desirable and compatible husband are in a young woman’s favor while she is on campus. She’s around men that are educated, career oriented, young, most likely single and childless. After graduation it’s nearly impossible to simulate that kind of social setting. The author advised women to remain active in alumni activities if they don’t find a husband while a student. It’s pretty simple and common sense.

Ms. Patton says that if you know you want to marry pursue it as a goal and be mindful of your time. Pop culture leads women to believe that they will meet the perfect mate by chance. Mainstream American Christianity preaches that The Lord will bring you the perfect spouse. I don’t think these romantic notions are fruitful.

I would encourage young women to be deliberate in their dating choices, have goals and be mindful of time . I think that Marry Smart offers great advice to women regardless of their educational and career goals. Any young woman can read this book and apply it to their own life and circumstances.

My criticism of this book is that it lasts a little longer than is necessary. Susan’s advice delves into some other areas that can help a lady be a success in life but it does get to be a bit superfluous near the end. It feels like Susan’s editor had a word requirement and she needed to stretch.

Generally speaking I think relationship advice is terrible. But Ms. Patton’s advice is based on simple biology. Women have been set up to fail by ignoring biology. The author is a bit harsh but I think it comes from a good, loving, maternal place. It’s worth a read. I listened to an audio book version which lasted about seven hours.

Modern Dating Scam: The Ride or Die Chick – Anna Duggar and Yandy: a case study

Anna Duggar and Yandy Smith don’t have a lot in common other than being cable reality TV personalities. Anna Duggar married into the fundamentalist Christian Duggar family of TLC reality TV show fame. Yandy is known from the VH1 program “Love and Hip Hop New York” . Both were married on TV to men that would end up incarcerated. Other than reality TV Anna and Yandy share the dubious distinction of being ride or die chicks and having it all blow up in their faces the same week.

Anna’s husband Josh was arrested for possession of child pornography two weeks ago. Josh is currently out on bail. Those kind of allegations are always shocking but Josh has been accused of sexual misconduct in the past. When Josh was young he sexually assaulted his younger sisters while they were asleep. Josh did not serve any time for what he did to his sisters. Instead he went through therapy at his church. Josh who grew up in a strict Christian household and he has also been caught on websites for married people seeking to cheat on their spouse.

All of the revelations came out in 2015. At the time Anna and Josh had four children. Anna made the decision to stay in her marriage and remain loyal to her husband. One would think that Josh would change his ways after being exposed in the media and publicly humiliating his wife. Instead he got worse and the allegations became even more dubious. Anna’s forgiveness, loyalty, patience and love didn’t amount to anything.

Yandy and her husband Mendeecees have been featured on “Love and Hip Hope New York” and “Couples Retreat”. Mendeecees was convicted on drug related charges and served four years in prison. His wife Yandy waited for him and supported him faithfully during his incarceration. She also became a prison reform activist.

An episode of “Couples Retreat” recently aired and Mendeecees was asked if he would support Yandy the way she supported him if she was incarcerated. He said he doesn’t know how he would react if the roles were reversed. The man that promised to be by her side through good times and bad admitted on a reality TV show that his vows were not sincere. Again, Yandy’s love and devotion amounted to a hill of beans. Her love is unrequited and unmatched. Yandy wasted her time and energy. She gained absolutely nothing.

I too have been a ride or die chick. About fifteen years ago I dated a man who was in the Army. The relationship happened while American troops were being deployed to Iraq. I thought I was in love with this man and I threw myself into supporting my soldier. I called him sometimes, wrote him and sent him things that he asked for. I watched the news every night and cried in front of the TV when the loss of troops was reported.

One day with tears in my eyes I tried to visualize my suitor sitting in front of the TV crying for me. I couldn’t see it. It didn’t seem feasible. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I began to question his feelings and intentions for me. He became dramatic and argumentative. I began to distance myself from him after that and the relationship fizzled out and ended. I wasted my energy, time, emotions and money. My love, care, loyalty, patriotism and devotion to this man amounted to nothing.

I took a long break from dating after that relationship. I remained completely single for about eight years before I took an interest in dating again. In those eight years I learned to make sure that any many I dated proved genuine interest and good intentions to me. I learned to take my time to ensure that a man invested in me. I am not interested in reciprocity. I’m interested in leadership. I don’t want tit for tat. I want a man that chooses me and proves to me that he is worthy to be a loyal husband.

Once I started dating again my circumstances improved. I have a boyfriend now who is clutch and very cute. But aside from that I learned how to get rid of men that weren’t showing me that they were sincere early on. Women need to understand that it doesn’t matter how much she loves a man. It doesn’t amount to anything. It matters how much he loves you.

Don’t be a ride or die chick. No sincere man wants a woman to be a ride or die chick. Only selfish men want that. A man with good intentions wants to be ride or die for her. A man that loves a woman wants her to be as stress and burden free as possible. He wants her to know that she can rely on him is she has struggles. It’s never the other way around.