Jeana Turner: ANTM Cycle 24

 

 

Recently Jeana Turner of ANTM Cycle 24 made a video discussing her experience as a contestant on America’s Next Top Model.  Her complaints are similar to complaints of reality TV show contestants since Real World I.  Jeana says she was edited in a way that portrayed unfairly.  She also said that producers created an environment that would create dramatic situations.  And like many other ANTM contestants Jeana says the show hurt her career more than it helped.

I watched Jeana’s season and she was portrayed as a villain.  She wasn’t my favorite that season but I didn’t dislike her.  I just thought that she was competitive, driven and not particularly warm and friendly towards the other girls.  I don’t think she owed them that.  I respected Jeana during her season.

I’m not particularly sympathetic to Jeana about the way she was portrayed because many reality TV contestants have talked about their experiences once their show is over.  It wouldn’t be difficult to research what it is like to be on a reality TV show.  Contestants are not held hostage in their living quarters.  They have the choice to leave if they find the circumstances to be unbearable.

The intriguing thing about this video isn’t Jeana’s complaints against the producers of ANTM.  The most compelling statement in this video comes just before the thirty minute mark.  Jeana posed for Playboy when she was eighteen and she says that she felt judged by Tyra for posing nude.  She says of Tyra “You say sex sells but how did that work out for my career?”.  Young women have been given a bad bill of sale.  Women are being groomed from a young age to be used sexually while getting nothing in return.

I do agree with Jeana that Tyra is a hypocrite.  I’ve watched her for years and her producers have cast women that have no romantic or sexual history with men and then asks them to pose nude with male models on ANTM.  When the model feels uncomfortable or awkward with the male model they are admonished by the judges panel and told they need to sacrifice to give the photographer a good shot.

On her old talk show she had girls on that were sexually active at young ages and she admonished them for that behavior.  So where does Tyra really stand?  Does she want to encourage casual sex or protect innocence and purity?  I think she just wants to sell a TV show.  So I’m with Jeana on that point.

Jeana said that she listened to Tyra’s mantra of sex sells.  She was having a difficult time establishing a modeling career so when she got an opportunity to be in Playboy she took it.  She later regretted it when her idol that gained fame from modeling underwear and bikinis looked down on her for posing nude.

Other than Anna Nicole Smith I’m not sure that posing for Playboy has lead to anyone’s success in high fashion.  But Anna Nicole Smith was one of a kind.  Jeana was groomed by feminist teachings that taught her that putting her body on display is empowering for women.  Jeana listened to Tyra who became a powerful woman in fashion and television by showing skin.

 

 

Jeana must not have been completely comfortable with baring it all because she regrets it now.  I’ve never heard Pamela Anderson Lee express regret for posing for Playboy and she’s made several appearances in the magazine.  But Pamela became a successful actress by making herself a sex symbol.  It was a part of her brand and it suited her personality.  I don’t think a compromise was made.

But Pamela Anderson Lee was an exception.  She was comfortable with posing nude and was around twenty three the first time she posed for Playboy.  Jeana was only eighteen.  I think the entertainment industry will make an example of women like Pamela Anderson Lee and Anna Nicole Smith as paradigms of what can happen if you push your boundaries and take a chance.  There’s that, and Pamela and Anna Nicole were never really taken seriously.  They didn’t even take take themselves seriously.

Here is another example of how new aged morality and feminist thinking is not telling women and girls the entire truth about putting your body on display and modesty.  There is a cost that goes along with it and most women are not prepared to pay that price.

Jeana was lied to by a culture that celebrates women selling themselves cheaply for the short term pleasure of men in exchange for validation or favors.  Women need to understand that they can choose to pose nude if they want but make sure it’s a strategic move that is a part of your brand that will help you meet your goals.  If you want to be taken seriously it’s probably better to remain fully clothed.

Women need to stop selling ourselves short.  Jeana has a very unique look and is photogenic. She is driven and passionate about her career.  She didn’t need Playboy for recognition in high fashion or acting.  She already had what she needs for success.  Posing nude did more for Playboy readers than it did for her.  I think that’s the idea behind the deceptive teachings of feminism and new aged morality .

 

Educated Women in Bikinis

I enjoy beauty pageants.  I have been watching them for as long as I remember.  They are the stuff that dreams are made of.  Who wouldn’t like to be named the prettiest woman in the state or country and given a crown and roses?  If everyone was honest we would all admit that we would all enjoy that validation.

I value pageants because they are a conspicuous display of hyper femininity.  I’m all for it and I hope they never change.  I don’t think that women get very many opportunities to be in the spotlight and pageants give them a platform.  Miss America and Miss USA are the two biggest pageants that come to my mind and they are distinct brands.  Miss USA contestants are the girls that boys liked in school and Miss America contestants are the pretty girls that teachers liked in school.  Both are great.

Recently a representative for the Miss America pageant remarked that “Educated women don’t parade around in swimsuits”.  That quote is actually part of a sentence and the remark was taken out of context but nonetheless I will share my thoughts on the controversy not the comment itself.

I found this remark to be a bit hypocritical since the Miss America pageant only recently took the swimsuit competition out of their pageant.  But my real concern is the contestants of the Miss USA pageant that got all up in their feelings because they are personally offended by Miss America’s quote.  Miss USA which feeds into the Miss Universe competition still have swimsuit competitions.

I follow pageant fan pages and several beauty queens on IG.  A lot of the Miss USA title holders have posted messages of themselves in bikinis and listed their academic accomplishments.  They posted long IG rants about how the Miss America Organization’s notion about educated women in bikinis is dated, sexist and hostile towards women.  The Miss America organization is absolutely right.

I agree that a woman can be smart and sexy.  A woman can be flirtatious and competent.  It’s unfortunate that the world sees women in a one dimensional way but feminism has not changed that.  Feminism is making things worse because much of their focus in on looks and sexuality.

Here’s the hypocrisy of Miss USA and Miss Universe contestants.  Most of these women are absolutely brilliant.  Many of them have impressive careers, educational backgrounds and compelling backstories.  But most of the ones that I’ve heard about after their reign has ended go into entertainment or they marry a wealthy man.  I think that marrying well is the real end game for women in the Miss USA/Miss Universe pageant system.

There is nothing wrong with any of that but they got their new opportunities because they look good in a bikini not because they studied hard in school.  Miss USA contestants are smart enough to know this and they are bluffing the world with politically correct feminist rhetoric that sets other women up for failure.  I think that this is the case for feminism in general.  Sorry but women in most day to day situations can not present themselves as sex objects and be taken seriously as intellectuals.  For some reason the bikini cancels out the intellect.

Feminism tries to have it both ways.  They want to tell women that they can be taken seriously as a woman in a bikini.  That simply isn’t true unless you are a swim suit model or perhaps an Olympic swimmer.  If you disagree imagine wearing a bathing suit to a job interview.  Even if you are applying to be a lifeguard that wouldn’t go over well.

I think women should use all of the tools at their disposal to open as many doors as possible including sex appeal.  But women need to be realistic about the way women are pigeonholed.  Feminism isn’t changing the way women are perceived when they put forth sexualized images of themselves.  I think that women need to present themselves the way they want to be perceived. Consider your goal and dress the part.

If anything feminists are encouraging women to use their bodies to gain love, acceptance and opportunities instead of using their minds.  That’s why the body positivity movement is popular.  Women that don’t fit the mold of a beauty queen want to be able to feel validated for how they look too.  That’s what today’s feminism is all about.

If you want to be taken seriously as a professional dress the part for the profession you choose.  But when it’s time to party or have a day at the beach have fun with fashion and enjoy yourself.  You can’t always take yourself seriously.  There’s a time and a place for everything.

I just wish the beauty queens that protested the remark from the Miss America Organization were a little more honest and thoughtful in their responses.  They could have said I was competing to be Miss USA, not a receptionist at an accountant’s office.  There are scholarships, fame, travel, jewelry and meeting with wealthy men at stake.  I will broker world peace in a suit that grazes my knees later.

I honestly don’t know why they responded at all.  The remark from the Miss America Organization seemed pretty innocuous to me and it fits their girl next door brand.  Miss America is a non profit organization that is focused on community service.  Miss USA is more glitz and showbiz.  Fighting for your right to be seen as a professional in a bikini is not a hill I would want to die on.  That’s why I have a hard time taking feminism seriously.

 

 

Feminists like to make conversations like this a matter of sexual assault and rape.  I want to make it clear that I don’t think that sexual assault and rape has anything to do with clothing or lack thereof.  People that jump from a statement of dressing for respect to sexual violation are trying to silence opposing thoughts with emotional blackmail.

 

 

 

Traditional Black Womanhood

Traditional Black womanhood is having a hard time in 2019.  It is having a hard time being heard, respected and taken seriously by anyone, even or I should say especially by other Black women.  It seems that anytime a Black woman speaks from a traditional point of view (I’m not talking politics) she is often mocked and put down.

Fantasia Barino, Gabrielle Douglas and Nicki Minaj have all made traditional remarks about womanhood over the last few years and have all faced criticism and mockery for it.  There is irony in all of the statements made by these well known women however it doesn’t necessarily make the viewpoints invalid and I don’t understand the so called backlash for their remarks.

Fantasia Barino of American Idol fame set off a poop storm this week when she said she follows her husband’s lead.  Her husband chimed into the on line discussion and he made a lot of good points about male leadership in a family.  They made sense and I think this couple is correct in their point of view.

But Fantasia’s public statement upset feminists for some reason that I don’t understand.  Some critics said that Fantasia was being arrogant and looking down on unmarried women.  But we’ve known Fantasia a long time now and she’s never been condescending or pretentious so I don’t think that judgement is fair.

Some of the disagreement stems from the fact that Fantasia makes way more money than her husband.  The pundits have a point there.  Oh and he’s a felon that she married after three weeks.  Fantasia’s marriage definitely raises some eyebrows but I still agree with her opinions about heterosexual, traditional marriages.  Even if I didn’t agree with Fantasia and her husband I would just excuse it as a difference of opinion.  But the feminists are angry this week at the thought of submitting to a man that they chose to marry.  I don’t get it.

Olympic gold medalist Gabrielle Douglass made a tweet a few years back saying that women should dress modestly.  Twitter erupted into a fury.  Gabrielle was maligned for this statement.  The feminists mocked her religious background and of course they brought up sexual assault.  The Twitter mob insulted Gabrielle’s intelligence and implied that she was brainwashed and didn’t think for herself.

I’m trying to understand what’s wrong with valuing modesty.  Do we all need to seek validation by posing mostly naked on social media.  Some women think that is empowering.  I don’t but to each their own.  No one is hurt by Gabrielle Douglas wanting to wear clothes.  I understand that Gabby Douglas came to fame in a leotard in front of a global audience so it is a bit of a hoot hearing her promote modest dress.  But again, I think that she is absolutely correct.

Nicki Minaj recently decided to retire and focus on her upcoming marriage and starting a family.  I think it’s lovely.  That move made Nicki a feminist heroine to me.  I believe that a woman can have it all in her life but she probably can’t do it all at the same time the way men can.

Nicki has had a great deal of success and has made a lot of money and now she wants to place her focus on being a wife and mother.  This is another questionable relationship.  Nicki too is marrying a felon that she out earns by a mile, maybe two or three.  He wouldn’t be my choice for a mate but nonetheless he’s her man and I think it’s nice that she is making family life her priority.  I hope she gets everything she wants.

There was a lot of social media buzz surrounding Nicki’s comments.  Most of the commentary was negative but there were some congratulatory wishes.  I don’t know why anyone would have any negative feedback about a wealthy woman in her thirties pausing her career to begin a family life.  I think it would be foolish to try and balance both.

The world has a one dimensional view of Black womanhood and it is mostly negative.  The world is very comfortable with Black women spreading promiscuous and new age feminist messages but not family oriented values.  I’m not sure why that is.  I tend to believe that things we see in the media groom those that consume certain images and messages.  Certain segments of the population are being groomed for failure from the start.

Black women are seen as traditional and wholesome once they are past their prime.  I think it’s great to see young, attractive Black women expressing wholesome values while they are young.  It’s a shame that their biggest detractors seem to come from within the Black community.

 

Hot Girl Summer: “Woman of Virtue”

Summer 2019 is behind us and you know what, I didn’t do a darn thing. I didn’t visit one beach, pool or amusement park this year. My “Hot Girl Summer” consisted of going to work, going to church going to brunch a few times. All of my adventures and drama came from reading. That’s a good and bad thing at the same time. Ice could have been covering the ground and it would not have made much of a difference to me. I’m going to share and review what I read this summer.

Woman of Virtue

woman of virtue

I found this book in Hoopla, my library’s digital book database.  It popped up when I put Proverbs 31 in the search engine.  The book is a Biblical guide to being a virtuous Proverbs 31 woman.  For the most part I enjoyed and I would recommend the book.

I like the perspective of the book because it is an alternate view of modern womanhood.  It challenges the influence of feminism in today’s culture and families.  The author encourages women to be modest, dutiful and virtuous which is a sharp contrast to the common messages that women get from the media.  Women and girls are socialized to be vain, self centered and promiscuous.  So the conventional thinking in this book makes it rebellious and counter culture.  I’ve always thought of myself as a rebel spirit.

There were parts of the book that were a bit outdated for my liking.  For instance the book discourages women not to work outside of the home.  I believe this is the ideal and I respect homemaking as a career choice but I don’t think I could ever trust any man that much.  The book also encourages women to tough it out and stay in your marriage if you find yourself married to a jerk.

Perhaps I interpreted Mrs. Brackley’s words wrong but I don’t think anyone should remain in a relationship where they are being mistreated.  I don’t for one minute believe that the Lord called anyone to be in an abusive marriage.  (I don’t specifically recall the author writing about abusive relationships.)

If a spouse is not keeping up their end of the bargain by not honoring their partner I don’t think it’s the other spouses place to try and make up for that deficit in order maintain a marriage.  Marriage just isn’t that important to me.  That’s a big part of the reason that I think that women shouldn’t stay outside of the workforce for very long unless you’re married to a millionaire that can pay a large settlement in the event of a divorce.

Overall, I enjoyed this book.  It is thought provoking and challenges the reader to rethink contemporary culture and women’s roles.  I agreed with most of what the book had to say even if I don’t think it was entirely realistic and practical.

 

 

 

What do Feminists Want?

I don’t understand feminism.  Are they asking for equality or chivalry?  You can’t have both.  You can not ask the world to ignore all of the differences between men and women and then be asked to be treated with kid gloves because you are a woman.  There are two examples of women being asked to be treated with kid gloves in the modern feminist world.

Bella Thorne recently went on a tearful rant against Whoopi Goldberg because Whoopi suggested that she not take nude pictures of herself and store them in a cloud.  Bella took nude pictures of herself to send to her boyfriend.  Once she discovered that her information had been hacked and the nudes were stolen she decided to release the photo herself.  The incident was discussed on “The View” and Whoopi told her to protect herself by not taking nudes.

bella thorne and whoopi goldberg

Bella then takes to Instagram to tell Whoopi that she should be ashamed of herself for telling Bella that there are consequences for actions and she can’t naively do whatever she wants and expect everyone in the world to be honorable.  Watch.

Bella’s IG post had a feminist under tone to it.  She felt that Whoopi should be ashamed because of how young women will be affected by her comments.  Feminism tells women to be bold and adventurous enough to take nude photos to transmit and store electronically but if your security is breached you should make yourself out to be a victim.  I would imagine that if you’re bold enough to take nudes in 2019 you’re probably no shrinking violet.

There is always the possibility of the file being stolen from Bella or the boyfriend.  And if Bella breaks up with the boyfriend he could share the picture with God knows who.  I kind of figured that people that sent nudes in 2019 didn’t really care where the photos ended up.  There are dozens and dozens of cautionary tales out there about the consequences of nudes ending up in the wrong hands.  Whoopi was just giving Bella some pretty sound advice.  Make the man wait until you are together again and when you’re apart he’ll have sweet memories.

I want to start by saying I can’t stand Lavar Ball.  I don’t know why we even know who he is because all he is is a stage parent and it doesn’t even seem to me that his boys are setting the NBA on fire.  But for some reason the sports media eats him up.  I don’t get it.  Lavar was being interviewed on ESPN by a sports journalist by the name of Molly Qerim.  She said that she wanted to switch gears in the conversation and Lavar said he would switch gears with her any day.  Ms. Qerim thought that the comment had sexual undertones.  Watch.

Good grief what a prude.  I don’t know how someone equates this with sexual harassment.  If you’re not familiar with Lavar Ball he’s not shy, he likes the spotlight and he speaks his mind.  He probably does have a flirtatious personality but I don’t think that a cutesy flirtatious remark necessarily equals harassment or an unbearable work environment.  Is Molly saying that she was afraid for her safety because of that remark?  If so she should stay home and be a housewife.

Lavar has been banned from ESPN.  I honestly don’t care because he shouldn’t have been on there so much anyway.  But I don’t think he should have been banned for this.  He should have been banned because he isn’t employed by the NBA and is one of these new kind of celebrities that is famous for absolutely no reason.

I had never heard of Molly Qerim before this but she has undoubtedly been influenced by the Me Too movement.  Why else would she be so sensitive to that remark?  She was in no danger because she and Lavar were not even in the same room.

Let’s be honest sports fans.  Most of those women of the sports shows are ornaments and there is no way that they don’t know that.  The women fit a very narrow beauty standard and most of them don’t say much.  They are there to look pretty and facilitate conversations between men.  They are similar to Price is Right models.

Their presence is sexist and demeaning to women because we all know that there are women that know a lot about sports but they may be bigger than a size 4.  My mom could do a good job as an anchor on ESPN because she is pretty darn knowledgeable when it comes to sports and she analyzes games pretty well.  But she is seventy three with two artificial hips and a bad back.  She’s not eye candy for the mostly male audience which is the true job of women on sports channels.

I want to give an honorable mention to Josina Anderson who is smart as a whip and knows what she is talking about.  And the red head that comes on the NBA show isn’t bad either and she’s quite likeable.  I think her name is Samantha.  And we can’t forget the OG Hannah Storm.

So these women that work on these sports channels benefit from sexism and they don’t mind playing into it for a paycheck but the minute a man that is known to be a smart alek makes a cheeky remark they make a complaint with HR and act as if they have been damaged.  It makes no sense to me.  Toughen up girls.  And if Molly thought Lavar’s remark was disrespectful she should have spoke up for herself in the moment.  That seems like the action of an empowered person as opposed to asking someone else to stand up for you because you are such a delicate and meek flower.

Anyway, I just wish feminism would make up it’s mind about it’s identity.  Do you want protection and chivalry or are you as tough as any man?  You can’t claim both identities and claim to be a coherent adult.  Feminists are delusional.

Amendment:

I forgot about the Cuba Gooding Jr. incident.  The Cuba Gooding Jr. groping incident is easy to forget about because it was a bunch of nonsense.  There is a boring and confusing video which confirms that the allegations of groping were a bunch of nonsense.  Watch.

 

After I watched this video for the first time my initial reaction was “What the heck did I just watch?”, because I didn’t see anything happen other than a bunch of people socializing and flirting at a bar.  Cuba put his hand on her knee during the video but I don’t know the nature of their relationship so I don’t know that that was an inappropriate touch.  The woman claimed that her breasts were groped but I didn’t see that happen.  Perhaps he brushed her chest with his hand but I didn’t see that either.

I could understand how a woman from the Jane Austen era could be very offended and upset if she was transplanted into a happy hour in an urban setting and a man brushed against her breasts even accidentally.  Those women had expectations of men and upheld feminine standards.  Women could have that kind of society if that’s what they wanted because women set the standards and make the rules.  But women have decided that they want to be thought of as independent women that are completely in charge of their bodies and sexuality and can speak up for themselves.

But evidently they can’t.  None of the situations in this post are about rape.  The Cuba Gooding incident isn’t even about sexual assault because he has been arrested, released with no charges filed.  Bella Thorne wasn’t as angry with the person that stole her images as she was Whoopi Goldberg who gave her opinion on a matter that Bella made public.  All of these women claimed to be victims after they were simply criticized, made uncomfortable or perhaps a man brushed against her.  And now they want people arrested and kicked off TV and such because they felt dishonored.

Oh but wait, I thought that women didn’t want their femininity honored.  Obviously they do but there is give and take.  A lot of modern women just want to take.  That’s what feminists want.  I’ve answered my own question.

It’s a Man’s World

It’s been obvious to me for a long time now that it’s a man’s world.  I see it.  I feel it.  I’m not really even complaining about it but I just wanted to point it out.  I figure that under the patriarchal system men pay for dates, engagement rings and they are the financial backbone of families and dating relationships so it all comes out in the wash.

I came to that conclusion that it’s a man’s world when I realized that a man without an education beyond high school has a chance of making a decent living but a woman without an education beyond high school is likely to live in poverty.  A man with no education beyond high school can drive a truck and earn at least $50,000 per year.  A woman without a higher education is probably going to end up in a job that pays around $20,000 per year.

Jobs with a large percentage of female personnel usually pay low wages.  Retail, food service and child care are good examples of this.  When men work in female dominated professions they are often in leadership positions that are higher paid.  We’ll never really know but I think that if more men chose elementary education as a career, teaching would be a job that would start $70,000 per year straight out of college with a career track that to having a six figure salary within ten years.  But teaching young children is mostly a woman’s profession so they are under paid, under appreciated and have to fight for respect.

Here is a photo of the leaders at the G20 Summit 2018.  Two of the twenty are women.  If this wasn’t a man’s world there would be more female leadership around the globe.  One of the women at the G20 Summit is a graduate of Oxford and the other has a doctorate in quantum chemistry.  One of the men at the last G20 Summit was an American reality show host who shows no evidence of having an education beyond the eighth grade.

g 20 summit

There are a number of other examples that I can point out to make my case that this is a man’s world.  But if what I’ve already said isn’t enough evidence for you that this is a man’s world take a look at the beauty gurus of today.

top left:  Jeffree Star

bottom left: James Charles

right:  Cohl Woolbright

That’s right.  They’re men.  Due to changing social mores and the redefining of masculinity, femininity and gender men are now the new make up gurus to young women that seek beauty advice on You Tube and other social media outlets.  Imagine a woman looking like any of these three and getting the opportunity to make millions in the cosmetic industry.  It wouldn’t happen.

This would make more sense if these men were pretty like Isis King who is trans.  I’m not sure if that means she had a sex change or not but at least Isis put in some work to look like a feminine woman and a normal human being.  I don’t know much about Jeffree Star, James Charles or Cohl personally but they look like men with several layers of make up on to me.  It’s not cute.  The plainest of all women are more attractive than them.

At least Isis is pretty and has an attractive image.  But these make up influencer men are just disrespectful and making fools out of women and women are loving it.  Their young fans are dumb enough to think they’re being hip and progressive.

 

None of these men make as much money as Kiley Jenner but she had to get an entirely new face before she could build her make up empire.  The money spent on Kiley’s cosmetic surgery is money well spent because she looks gorgeous.  Gorgeous use to be a requirement to be a cosmetics pitch person.  This is sexism and partriarchy at it’s finest.

kylie jenner

If men are going to be allowed in traditional female spaces, such as the cosmetics industry, women’s sports and beauty pageants what’s left for women?  Women don’t even get respect or treated with much chivalry anymore.  There aren’t a lot of opportunities for women to be in the spotlight in this world.  In a genderless society there will be even fewer.  Everything will be dominated by men because this is a man’s world after all.

miss spain

I’m an old lady now so this young generation of beauty influencers has zero influence on me.  I’m not their target audience and I’m sure all of these men are smart enough to know that.  But young women need to be weary of this gender fluid agenda because it will not benefit you at all.  This isn’t a two way street.

I keep seeing women in the media that want to be the first woman in the NFL.  If a woman ever gets to compete in football at that level she will probably end up permanently damaged or killed. That social experiment will be over with within one play.  I don’t even think a woman could even measure up as a kicker.  I couldn’t even imagine most young women being able to perform under that type of pressure.

 

Cody Parkey was a champ.  He disappointed the entire city of Chicago and got tore up on social media.  I saw him on the news after that game and he was very poised.  Most women would be on TV crying and I don’t have time for it.

The woman in the picture below is Becca Longo and she aspires to become an NFL kicker.  I don’t know her and I could be wrong but just imagine an attractive, young, White woman doinking the ball and ending the Bears season after they haven’t been relevant since the mid 80s.  What I visualize in my mind is absolutely nauseating and I want no parts of it.

becca longo

It’s up to each generation to make their mark.  Each generation can correct the mistakes of the last generation or compound them.  I think that feminism has it’s accomplishments and there have been benefits to society overall.  It’s never a good thing for potential to be overlooked based on sex, race, economic background, etc.  The mistake that feminism made is that it tells people that there is no difference between male and female.  This is not true and this thought pattern benefits men.

Smarten up girls!  Straight, masculine men have been using feminism to their benefit for decades.  Now feminine men are using feminism and gender neutrality to their benefit and women or at least young girls are hanging on their every word.  It’s embarrassing.  It’s a man’s world and I think it will always be that way.  It’s easier to make the system work for you than work against it.

 

 

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day was Friday, March 8.  I thought nothing of it on Friday because I don’t know how to observe the day.  Do we go shopping, bake a cake, have a parade or what?  Beats me.

But over the weekend I ran across a video on YouTube of an Air Force service woman complaining about her subordinates having bad attitudes.

 

The soldiers post is bad enough but as always the comments underneath the video were far more extreme.  I read dozens and dozens of comments expressing disdain for and superiority to Black women.  YouTube is a haven for those who hate Black women.  Insults to Black women can be found underneath videos that have absolutely nothing to do with Black women.  I read this stuff and I’m like, sheesh can I live?  I’m just minding my business and trying to live here.

There is a YouTube host by the name of Tommy Sotomayor that has been preaching his hatred of Black women on social media for years now.  His success has inspired copy cats and their sentiment is repeated all over YouTube and Twitter.  I’ve come to the conclusion that the easiest way for a Black man that isn’t a celebrity to gain a large social media following is by degrading Black women.

tommy sotomayor Tommy Sotomayor

Stereotypes are usually based in truth but I still don’t find the perceptions that people have of Black women to be fair.  I am familiar with “Black attitude” and have encountered it.  I’ve dished some out.  So I’m not saying that “Black attitude” doesn’t exist.  I’m just saying that it is misunderstood and sometimes justified.

Hostility towards Black women has been very open in the media for years.  As I pointed out before it is all over the place and the Black community is not even a safe place from it because Black people often hold the most hostility and do a lot to perpetuate the harmful stereotypes.

Black women are often described as terrible mothers, terrible domestic partners, terrible people and ugly.  I’ve seen numerous social media posts telling Black women  that we are the so called bottom of the barrel women.  With so much negativity aimed at Black women I don’t understand why anyone is surprised that they would have attitudes or feelings of bitterness and resentment.  It is inevitable that all of the negativity would affect the image of Black women and girls.

Black women are often put down for the way they present themselves.  A lot of Black women wear hair weave around the world.  In countries outside of the US skin bleaching seems to be common.  Men that enjoy degrading Black women by telling them that they need to learn to love themselves.

What people choose to ignore is that European features are the standard of beauty globally and women of African descent that alter their appearance to look more European are trying to compete.  They are competing for economic opportunities and the affection of men.  Black women often feel that they need to make themselves look more European to gain the attention of Black men.

Black women are human beings and like all human beings they are seeking out validation and love.  Black women are fighting to gain economic resources in this modern economy.  Most of us are raised to believe that we need to alter our appearance to look more European in some form in order to do that.  Anyone that says that looking more African and less European in this world is an asset is not speaking the truth.

So that covers the why of some of the actions of Black women but that’s not where the bias stops.  I admit.  Some Black women have an attitude and are easy to trigger.  But so are a lot of other women that aren’t Black.  Why aren’t those women stereotyped as having bad attitudes?  In fact, when certain races of women have temper tantrums men think it’s cute, sexy and exciting.

 

If you take a gander at my profile pic you can clearly see that I am a Black woman.  I think I’m a pretty nice and easy going person.  I don’t like to be at odds with people or have conflicts.  But I’m not afraid to stand up for myself.  And I’ve noticed as a Black woman there are times when I have had to struggle to be heard.  When I don’t stand for being treated poorly or I feel the need to make myself clear so I can ensure that I am being heard and understood people often like to act is if I am the aggressor and they are the victim.

All a Black woman needs to do is stand up for herself or assert herself and many people will be offended by it because the woman that they deem as beneath them or bottom of the barrel is asking for fair treatment.  Others actually enjoy the nasty stereotypes of Black women.  It gives them a fool to laugh at and someone to make them feel superior.  I have had problems in the American workforce for not fulfilling the Black woman stereotypes.  A Black woman will be left in peace if she plays the role that others thinks she should play.

I grew up in the Detroit area and now I live in Kansas City, MO.  I’ve always lived places with sizeable Black populations.  So indeed, I have met unpleasant Black women but I’ve also met a lot of sweet as pie, smart, professional, family oriented, hard working, feminine, full of personality and drop dead gorgeous.  In fact, I think that most Black women are lovely people.  Most of the people that I have been close to and supported me in my life have been Black women.  I have absolutely no reason to put down Black women or try to put a different race of women on a pedestal.

Black women are like everyone else and should be judged as individuals.  Give us a break.  And no, I’m not pleading with anyone to like or love us.  That is a personal matter.  But I don’t think that we deserve the constant degradation that we receive.  It’s not even as if we are being accused of pulling off mass shootings or drive bys.  Even if you buy into the stereotypes we still really aren’t all that bad.  How can we be?  Black women don’t hold much power in society so we aren’t even able to hurt anyone.  I don’t understand how we became the boogeyman.

As far as the soldier that made that video I have some theories about why she has a problem with her subordinates but I will keep that to myself.  My hypothesis is not politically correct and would do nothing but hurt feelings and spread negativity.  I know when to keep my mouth shut.  I only know what this soldier shared in her profanity laced tirade which said a lot about her.

This woman clearly loves drama because there are other, less public, more professional and mature ways that she could deal with disrespectful subordinates.  I’m sure the Air Force has some sort of disciplinary system in place to deal with valid complaints.  And this lady said she wanted to fight the Black women that reported to her.  For goodness sakes that’s not lady like at all.  Is violence really necessary?  I’m thinking that she is the problem here.

So anyway the world really needs to back off of Black women and girls.  We don’t deserve the hostility.  We’re just trying to live our lives.  In the past year or so I’ve heard of about three stories of elementary school aged girls committing suicide because of bullying at school.  One news report said that a girl was being teased because of her hair.  She looked like an average little Black girl with two Black parents to me.  This negativity has consequences.

The mainstream American feminist movement rarely addresses the concerns of Black women.  Body positivity and other modern feminist causes exist to improve the conditions of affluent White women that only seem to have cellulite to worry about.  So in honor of International Women’s Day please, give Black women a break.  We’re having a hard time out here.