MGTOW

A few months ago I ran across MGTOW pages on You Tube.  MGTOW is an acronym for Men Go Their Own Way.  I don’t consider myself to be a feminist so I listened to what these men have to say with an open mind.  These men make some valid points in their videos.

I do believe that feminism has given some women unrealistic expectations of life and of men.  I have observed women being very selfish and demanding in relationships.  These women have grown up being told they are worth it and they are princesses by companies that want to sell fantasies to women.  I also don’t think that society respects decent men the way it should.

I had the experience of working in the jewelry retail business for about eight years on a part time or full time basis.  I observed a lot of self entitled, selfish, materialistic and delusional behavior while I was in that business.  I understand why some men decide to not marry or date women.

However, after running across enough MGTOW videos I came to realize that these men were just making excuses to hate women and they themselves were quite delusional.  First of all, if a person decides they don’t want to be bothered with someone or something they just quietly walk away from it and go on with their life.  They do not form a band of brothers and focus on the people that they claim to not want to be around.  MGTOW is obsessed with women and they see women as enemies.  They don’t focus on having satisfying lives as single men.

And these men have not actually walked away.  Time and time again I heard MGTOW use the term pump and dump.  So they are actually involved with women enough to sleep with them.  They must be hooking up on dating websites or bars in a string of one night stands or they are lying to women long enough to sleep with them and not speak to them again.  They claim to be successful men however all this pumping and dumping sounds like a lot of time consuming, life complicating work to me.

MGTOW has a very strange obsession with youth.  They believe that they become more valuable with age and women become less valuable.  When I say they are interested in young women I mean very young.  MGTOW thinks that women are over the hill by the time they are twenty five.  I have read many You Tube comments where men in their forties prefer to date nineteen year olds and men in their fifties date women in their mid twenties.

I understand being attracted to youth and beauty.  However it usually takes youth and beauty get it.  I hate to break it to you fellas out there but women are attracted to youth as well.  If you are a mature person think back to when you were twenty and how old you thought thirty was.  I was not interested in men that old when I was very young and I don’t think most women are unless the man is super charming, uncommonly attractive for his age or unless there is a financial incentive.

But wait, I thought MGTOW men didn’t like women that are gold diggers!  It sounds to me that these men waste their young years when they have the opportunity to organically and without complications win over a young bride and wait until they are old men to try and date someone that wants a sugar daddy.

When I hear of old movie or rock stars in their sixties dating much younger women and having more children I figure that they are smart enough men to know the game.  They are trading money for youth and beauty and the opportunity to have more children.  I don’t think any of those men think that their young lovers would be by their side if it wasn’t for the money and prestige.  There are indeed May-December romances that are true love but it’s not the norm.  And even if the man is not wealthy he probably still is generous with his money and indulges his young girlfriend in exchange for her attention and affection.  At least I hope so.  If she’s not she’s not too smart.

MGTOW men make it a point to explain to people why they are single.  Perhaps some women just chose not to marry or just never found what they wanted in a partner.  I am forty three and there are opportunities for relationships for women my age however there is not a lot of incentive to start the relationship.

It’s not likely that I will be starting a family at this point unless it was through adoption.  And there are so many more variables to consider in relationships as you get older.  Careers are more developed, there are children, grandchildren, aging parents and health issues.  Everyone has baggage and it gets heavier with age.

People have joked about cat ladies but has anyone said they are unhappy?  They are not the ones on You Tube complaining.  If anything they are just enjoying themselves and watching cat videos.  Perhaps spinsters decided to go their own way long ago and quietly go about their lives which is what MGTOW needs to do.

MGTOW’s ugly behavior over shadows any of the valid points they have.  And the attraction that these middle aged men have for teenagers makes them pretty darn shady.  They are a bit delusional about the women they have access to as they age.  I wrote a piece once about the number one rule of dating.  That is people date and marry their equivalent or there is a trade off of some sort i.e. wealth for youth and beauty.  I respect anyone’s choice not to marry and or have children male or female.  But it’s your choice.

The Crusade for Masculinity – Shannon in Kansas City

Masculinity is hard to find in 2015.  I think that it is a little distorted and attached to some negative connotations.  When I think of ideal masculinity I think of leadership, kindness, protection and one that provides.  Regardless of what we are made to believe I think that that is what women want from the men in their lives.  If women settle for less they will have struggles in their relationships.

In mainstream culture masculinity is seen as negative.  Men that are physically masculine are usually portrayed as less than intelligent or villains of some sort.  On TV husbands and fathers are often made the butt of jokes.  I’m guessing this is what Hollywood writers think a man has to be in order to not be seen as threatening.

I’m an unmarried woman and I feel that men often make themselves a little passive.  They refuse to show any type of leadership.  This is kind of a luxury for men because this way they don’t need to take any responsibility.  This gives them room to avoid paying for anything and they can take advantage of women sexually without any shame.  Many men enjoy their new modern passive role.  The kids call these men f#ckboys.

So many men have abdicated their responsibilities as men in favor of an extended adolescence that can extend into their forties.  They have relationships with women with no intention of commitment.  Sometimes they even have children with these women without ever providing a stable family life for them.  Instead they remain commitment free and continue to party at the clubs and play video games like teenagers.

Men and women are hard wired a certain way to look for certain things from the opposite sex.  Nothing has changed for centuries.  Women want leadership and love and men want respect.  It doesn’t get much more complicated than that.

When women are allowed to take the lead in a relationship I believe that there will ultimate be problems in that relationship.  Women want to be able to look up to their man and have confidence that he will be there to support.  If the woman is consistently placed in the leadership role she will eventually question the purpose of having that man in her life.

Men want to be respected in a relationship.  But if a woman is the chief decision maker and financial support it will be hard for her to give a man the type of respect that he wants.  He will probably seek satisfaction from a different relationship or some type of fantasy such as pornography.

I’m not sure how everything got confused.  I won’t blame feminism because I support women being independent and I think it’s great that women are empowered to make decisions about their own bodies.  But I don’t think that masculinity needs to be subservient for a woman to feel empowered.  I think that many single women yearn for the security that masculinity brings.

The world needs to stop allowing men to take the easy way out.  Men are allowed to behave like adolescents until they are well into adulthood.  Women need to stop allowing men to take the passive role in while dating when we know that that would never satisfy us in a long term relationship.  Women make the rules in courtships.  Expect better and we will get better.  No matter how old you are say no to f#ckboys.  Masculinity is a positive and respectable characteristic that unfortunately doesn’t get enough respect.  You know you want it girls.