The vast majority of dating advice that is dished out on social media is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t think that a lot of these people have even had more than three dates with the same person. But I am here to help with my bit of dating advice and it may be the last advice you need and I have career experience to qualify what I am saying.
Like pairs up with like. That’s it. If you haven’t met that special someone yet it’s not that there is necessarily anything wrong with you. It’s you just haven’t met your match yet. I worked in the jewelry retail business for about six years on a part time or full time basis.
I sold jewelry for companies such as Zales, Kay, Helzberg and a small local jeweler. I helped couples shop for engagement rings and gifts. The thing I noticed over time is that couples mirrored each other. Quiet people were with quiet people. Outgoing people were with outgoing people. Intellectual was with intellectual. Arrogant linked up with arrogant. You get the picture.
I think the biggest barrier people have with dating is not staying in their lane. One of my favorite TV shows is “90 Day Fiance”. It’s a reality show that tells the stories of couples that were in international romances navigating the immigration system, family turmoil and culture shock. A common theme on the show is people trying to date people that are significantly younger.
In most of the couples the only way the older person has the opportunity to date a person in their twenties is if they have an economic edge. If the younger party was from the US they most likely wouldn’t consider the older person for romance. Most of these people are not wealthy so they go overseas and choose a partner from a poor country. The result is a hit TV show but most of these relationships have struggles and some fail. They didn’t stay in their lane.
I don’t think dating is about hitting a mark. It’s about finding someone that compliments you. One thing that I don’t think people understand is that you don’t have the right to expect something out of a person that you don’t offer yourself. You shouldn’t expect to date someone fit if you’re not in shape. You can’t judge someone for their amount of sexual partners if you’ve been on the ho stroll for years. You don’t deserve someone with good finances if you are terrible with money.
Even if you attracted someone that was your ideal your differences may cause many struggles if you’re able to find common ground at all. If you’re a neat freak you probably won’t get very far with a slob. A pious person probably wouldn’t get along with an atheist in intimate circumstances. The list goes on and on.
Throw out all value judgements on who society tells you to love. Be honest about what you have to offer and find someone that complements you. When I worked in the jewelry business I met a lot of well cared for women that didn’t look like supermodels and had probably been around the block a bit but their men fit the same description. I’ve heard stories of couples meeting in AA meetings and detention in high school. Look for love where you are and from someone that reminds you…of you.
Yesterday was Cam Newton’s 27th birthday. Glory be to God for that marvelous creation. I hope he enjoyed a great birthday. I absolutely love that man and I would probably marry him if given the chance. He is incredibly handsome, sweet natured, big hearted, outgoing, friendly and prosperous. God Bless him.
This may sound a bit strange but another reason that I love him is his choice in female companionship. His girlfriend,baby mama fiancé or whatever is a single mother and she worked as a stripper at some point in her life. I pass no judgment on anyone that makes that career choice. Heck, life is tough, bills need to be paid and the baby needs shoes. I’m glad to see that Cameron isn’t judgmental towards women either. It’s a refreshing change.
Social media is a hobby of mine and I am shocked to see how many men, particularly Black men, pass judgment on women based on their sexual history or at least their perceived sexual history. Black men and their sycophant Black women love to degrade Black single moms or anyone that they can label a slut via social media. They put modest women up on a pedestal but these men probably don’t have modest morals themselves.
On Mother’s Day Cam posted a really sweet message to his lady. It’s really nice to see a man praising the woman that he chose to impregnate. I’ve been privy to conversations where men have nasty attitudes towards women they once love or were at least found to be attractive but now they ha
Their attitude is that unvirtuous, single mothers are not deserving of love once they’ve made choices that they deem as foolish which lead them to be unmarried and pregnant. Meanwhile, Black men are not held to any standards of purity whatsoever. These Black single moms didn’t get there by themselves.
I think it’s lovely that Cam Newton fell in love with a stripper and I hope he marries her. I think it’s great that Cam Newton does not judge women based on puritanical standards of sexuality and purity. It’s nice to see a man fall in love with a woman’s character, intellect and beauty as opposed to choosing them based on how many lovers they may have had in the past.
I wish Cameron and Kia the very best. I’m hoping that their story will become a Lifetime movie one day. I’m not a fan of Disney, Prince Charming type movies but I would certainly watch that one. If things don’t work out between Cameron and his son’s mother I hope he will marry me. I’m quite a bit older than him but hey, he seems like an open minded guy that doesn’t judge women by society’s harsh standards of what makes a woman worthy of love and attention.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you fabulous moms out there. I respect and admire your capacity to love and your devotion. I know that there are exceptions but I am going to take a minute to focus what’s positive and typical. Everyone loves their mom. If you win an Oscar you thank your mom, if you get on the “Price is Right” you say “Hi Mom”, if you get arrested most of us will call mom. Your mom is a constant throughout your life. She’s been there through everything, even things you were too young to remember. Moms are a real blessing.
I am so fortunate to have Lillie Mae Patrick French as my mom. She’s a great lady. No one has invested in me or believed in me the way she has. My mom is a rock solid woman who’s word is as good as gold. If she says something you can trust that it is true and that promises will be kept. No on has ever stood up for me or protected me the way my mom has.
My mom is truly one of the nicest people in the world. She is generous, not only with me but with other people too. I am very blessed to be a witness to her life. My mom has taught me to work hard, to stand up for myself, to be a lady, to be independent and to love God. If I had to be born again and pick a mom again I would pick the same one.