Tomorrow is pageant day.  That’s what I call beauty shop appointment day.  I am getting a relaxer on my hair and a style; nothing very different.  I would love to grow my hair out natural.  It would be great to try it out for a while.  I’m not afraid in the least bit to shave my head bald and watch it all grow back natural.  I just want time to do it.

The problem with changing your hair drastically are the shocked reactions to people that see you regularly.  I don’t want to have to explain myself over and over to people about why I made the decision.  I also need time and space to decide if I like my hair au natural myself.  I have not worn my hair in it’s natural state since I was a toddler so I don’t really know what it’s like.  The same can be said for many Black women.

I love how my nappy roots feel.  My hair is very spongey and super curly.  Curly probably isn’t the right word.  I really prefer nappy even though I don’t think that word is widely understood either.  But I must admit it is very difficult to get a comb through my hair in it’s natural state.  That’s another reason I wish I had time to grow my hair out naturally.  I don’t really have the time to rake through a nappy afro ever morning.  I would have to figure out a new maintenance routine which would take some experimenting with different finishing products and styling tools.  I want a good month to myself to watch my hair do what it naturally does.

One of these days I’m going to do it.  My hair has been should length, short, shorter and super short but always chemically process to give it a straight texture.  It’s been it natural super dark brown (now with gray tinsel) , lighter brown, copper, reddish, fire engine red and streaked with blonde.  I think it’s kind of a shame that it’s been everything but it’s natural nappy self.

Natural hair is the trend right now.  But what’s funny the fashion bloggers that right about natural hair are often promoting a White standard of beauty.  The models they use often have curly hair and not nappy hair.  The hair falls to their shoulders instead of standing up on their head.  The models are often people that don’t even have two Black parents.  I call bullshit on the current natural hair trends.  When I grow my hair natural it won’t be because I’m following a fashion trend.  It will be because I reached a point in my life when I’m able to better control my own time instead of punching someone else’s time clock 45 hours a week.  Until that time off to the beauty shop I go.