My Favorite “90 Day Fiance” Couples

I’ve been a fan of the TV show “90 Day Fiance” since about season two. I’ve watched many couples navigate their international romances. Most of the couples are disasters and I am strongly in favor of them breaking up than I favor them remaining together. The motivations of the shows participants are questionable. The Americans are often looking for a younger, more attractive partner than they can find in the US. It’s clear that Americans like to use the immigration system and economic inequality as leverage. The foreigners often want to live a lifestyle that they believe only America can offer.

The couples are usually terribly mismatched. The cultural and religious differences cause conflict and misunderstanding. Gender roles and traditional values are obstacles to overcome in the relationships. Aside from all of that some of the shows participants are not nice people and it’s easy to see why they need to look for love in a whole new country.

But some of the couples seem to have a decent foundation for a long lasting relationship. These are my favorite couples that I think have a shot a marital success.

Alexei and Loren

Alexei and Loren met whe Loren took a birthright trip to Israel as a youngster. Alexei is from Israel and Loren lived in New York City, NY when Alexei’s fiance visa was approved. Loren quit her job in New York and the two moved in with Loren’s parents in Florida. The couple still lives in Florida and now have three children. They are considering relocating to Israel.

I like them as a pair because they are equally yolked. They have a similar cultural background. They look like they would be attracted to each other without any ulterior motives. With the exception of a few lovers quarrels, an adjustment period and Alexei getting homesick Loren and Alexei get along well.

Robert and Anny

I never would have guessed Robert and Anny would have gotten as far in their relationship as they did. Robert was a single father of several children from Florida. I think seven or so. At least one of his baby mamas and her family are problematic and confrontational. Anny is from the Dominican Republic and expected the streets of America to be paved with gold and she came to this country expecting a luxurious lifestyle. Robert is a man of modest means who lived with his young son in a humble apartment.

Anny was disappointed but she stuck with the relationship. Robert and Anny are now married and have had another baby. Unfortunately, she lost their second baby together. I liked Anny right away and have grown to like Robert. His son is darling. And Anny has a good relationship with her stepson. The pair appear on “Pillow Talk” which is a play by play of current episodes “90 Day Fiance” by past cast member. Robert and Anny seem to enjoy each others company and have a good understanding of each other.

Low and Narkyia

Lowo is a self described Nigerian Prince and Narkyia was a single mom from Alabama. This couple doesn’t receive a lot of attention from 90 Day fandom but they are married and have a daughter together and live in the US. Narkyia is active on Instagram and has documented her weightloss. She and Lowo look great. Her son is an adult now and her new baby is cute. Congratulations to the couple on everything.

There haven’t been very many Black couples on this franchise. I think there have been three. It would be interesting to me if BET or TV ONE copied the concept but focused on couples throughout the Black diaspora. I think it would be interesting to watch.

Jon and Rachel

Jon is an ex convict from England and Rachel is a single mother of two from Albuquerque, New Mexico. They met on a game app and began to communicate and fell in love. The pair is in their thirties and both have made questionable decisions. They work and are the most interesting couple on the show. I think they are well suited for each other as people. They got married in England on the show and have major obstacles to overcome. Jon’s visa application was denied because of his criminal record. Rachel shares custody of her older daughter with the girl’s father so she can’t move to England while the young girl is a minor. The husband and wife haven’t seen each other in a few years. I don’t know how they are going to maintain their relationship and get through this but I wish them well.

Omar and Avery

My favorite couple of nine seasons of “90 Day Fiance” and all the spin offs is Omar and Avery. Avery is from Ohio and Omar is from Syria. Avery converted to Islam on her own and met Omar on an Islamic dating app. Avery traveled to the middle east and married Omar in Lebanon. The couple lived in United Arab Emirates for a time. Avery is back in the US and Omar is still in the middle east.

A common story line on “90 Day Fiance” is western women with middle eastern men. These couples usually frustrate me because I thought that it was common knowledge that some religions and countries have a strict patriarchal culture and women may be asked to cover their head. It irritates me when American feminists and party girls choose to have relationships with conservative Muslim men and struggle with his expectations. Some of them claim to be ignorant of their lover’s culture but I don’t know why you wouldn’t try to learn something about your fiance’s country.

Avery already chose to follow Islam and she was looking for a man who shared her faith. She learned about the middle east and she fully embraced the culture and respected his family. I feel like she is what the show should be about. I think Avery and Omar’s relationship is a good model for what love and romance is about even if your sweetheart lives nearby. The more you have in common with your significant other the better but if you want to date be prepared to compromise and embrace new ideas.

Modern Dating Scam: The Normalization of Horrible Relationships on TV

Horrible relationships have been normalized by the media. Daytime and prime time TV, network and cable programming is filled with stories of betrayal, deceit, abuse and chaos between men and women. The dramatic and negative depiction of romantic and domestic relationships has changed how men and women interact with each other. Expectations have changed due to relationship dynamics on TV. The bar has been lowered.

Relationships are on TV are tense and dramatic in order to entice viewers. There isn’t much of a story if two people are happy, in love and get along well. No one will tune in to watch a couple share a pizza and fall asleep on the couch. As an avid trash TV watcher I know that the intrigue is the drama. So is sitting back and shaking your head at the poor choices being made.

Relationship turmoil on TV has become so normalized that I think some may look at their own relationship and think that it’s not bad because it’s not that bad. I also think many people don’t have real life examples of respectful and productive long term couples to use as role models or council. Unfortunately, the new standard seems to be that if no one has been lied to, beaten or verbally berated it’s a functioning relationship right? Wrong. A relationship can be terrible long, long before it becomes dangerous and tumultuous.

The standard for relationships needs to be high. There needs to be mutual respect, consideration for each other’s feelings, true friendship and affection. It’s also great if you’re attracted to each other. If you merely tolerate your partner or are being tolerated you are better off single. A relationship should enhance your life and bring you comfort, peace, support and joy.

There are lovers’ quarrels but constant friction means you’re not a good match. Differences should be able to be overcome through communication and compromise. If a relationship is like rolling a stone up a hill you’re likely better off and more productive as a single person.

Living in conflict and misery is not normal or healthy. Shoot for the stars instead of accepting the bare minimum. If the best thing you can say about your relationship is that the neighbors have never called the cops on you may be better off without the relationship. The bar needs to be raised across American culture. Even if ratchet TV is your guilty pleasure don’t let it set standards for your life.

Vikings: Hvitserk – the Most Problematic Character

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I finally finished watching the TV series Vikings after about two years. The show lasts for six seasons and there is a total of 89 episodes. The plot spans two generations and three continents. There are around one hundred characters in the series. I can’t cover all of it in this blog post so instead I’m going to focus on the most problematic point in the plot and the most confusing character. His name is Hvitserk.

Hvitserk is one of Ragnar’s five sons. The later part of the series revolves around the sons of Ragnar. To make a long story short Hvitserk is co dependent and always needs to latch onto someone; a girlfriend, his brother or something.

Hvitserk was close to his brother Ivar who didn’t have the ability to walk with iron walking aids. Ivar was a madman and insecure. He made up for his profound shortcomings on the battlefield. Ivar was fearless and was a great military strategist. Hvitserk was loyal to his brother and was an asset in war.

Ivar was jealous of his brother because he was impotent. There was a point in the story where Hvitserk fell in love and had a girlfriend. This was a threat to Ivar because Hvitserk had the potential of producing an heir. Ivar became very creepy and stalkerish towards his brother and his girlfriend. He kidnapped the girl and burned her at the stake.

The grief and anger of losing his girlfriend drove Hvitserk insane. He became a junkie in order to cope with the loss and suffered from hallucinations. One dark and rainy night while having a mental health episode he killed the heroine of the show Lagartha. Lagartha was a legendary shield maiden in their town. She was also his older brother’s mother. A fortune teller predicted one of Ragnar’s sons would end Lagartha’s life.

Hvitserk’s older brother Bjorn, Lagartha’s son and ruler of their town Kattegat, sentenced Hvitserk to be burned at the stake for his crime. As things were heating up Bjorn changed his mind and released Hvitserk. The new sentence was banishment to the woods in the middle of winter. Bjorn did not expect Hvitsverk to survive.

Ivar had already been banished to the woods for trying to overthrow Bjorn and was taken in by a neighboring kingdom, The Russe. Hvitserk was found nearly frozen to death in the woods and taken in by the Russe. Hvitserk and Ivar were reunited.

From that point on they were cool and buddy-buddy. Past transgressions that made Hvitserk lose his mind were forgotten. They were back to over throwing power structures together again. The shift in the plot was very annoying and unrealistic to me. While they were in Russia they needed to have on good confrontation over the things that Ivar did to Hvitserk’s lover. But nah, it was water under the bridge. He was miraculously healed of his mental illness and substance abuse problem.

Hvitserk stayed by Ivar’s side throughout the rest of the show. Ivar died in Hvitserk’s arms on the battlefield in a war with the Saxons. As his bones finally gave out on him completely he cried in fear of death. Hvitserk was his strength and comfort at that moment. The brothers loved each other and had an inexplicable and dysfunctional bond.

Hvitserk then surrenders to the Saxon king and becomes a Christian. Hvitserk can not survive on his own. He was a bad ass dude but he lacked motivation. At the end he latched on to his conquerors.

Vikings was a good show and I enjoyed it. Hvitserk’s storyline was a bit questionable but I think you would like it if you like historical dramas.

Pandemic Winter Review: Vikings

Over the winter I started watching the TV show Vikings. Vikings ran on the History Channel from 2013 to 2020 for six seasons. The show is loosely based on the history of the Vikings of northern Europe. I would recommend the show if you like historical dramas. However the show is super violent. The Vikings didn’t really do anything other than invade foreign lands, initiate hand to hand combat and have sex.

The principle character of the show is an ambitious farmer turned Viking king Ragnar Lothbrok and his family. The show spans generations and the show does a good job of developing the characters and their storylines. The make up artists did a great job of maturing and aging the actors.

Michael Hirst is the writer of the show and he said that Vikings is loosely based on history. So I’ve learned some new things but they are general ideas and not necessarily historic facts. Vikings is purely a drama and not educational material. But if you don’t know much about the Vikings this show may inspire you to learn more about them and their influence.

If you don’t mind violent battle scenes and torture you may enjoy Vikings. Some of the seasons are long so the series is kind of a big commitment but it’s a great story with a lot of intricate details and great actors.