Black Women are Human and Humans aren’t Always Nice

Social media loves to harp on Black women that aren’t so sweet or come off as self serving. They will fixate on it for days. If a Black woman is snarky, mean, puts herself first or isn’t cheerleadery the public takes great offense to this and hopes for her downfall.

Black women are human and sometimes humans aren’t nice. All humans are different. If a Black woman isn’t super nice to you get over it. She doesn’t owe you anything anyway. People that you don’t know don’t owe you nice.

Men (all) are left to rape, steal, pillage and destroy. Some support their actions and make excuses for them. Non Black women often remain unscathed regardless of their words or actions because they are great at deflecting the matter or someone will stand up for them.

People insist that Black women be nurturing, supportive and sappily sweet at all times without fail. That expectation is exhausting. Who is doing all that for Black women? No one. The main people complaining about the women pictured above are other Black women. We all have that sweet and nurturing side to us. It’s reserved for who we want to share it with. It’s not for public consumption.

Black women aren’t being allowed a full range of personality traits the way others are. Black women aren’t being allowed to be human. It’s as if Black women can only exist within a very narrow range. Give people space space to be who they are. If you don’t like them give them enough space that you don’t see or hear from them. It’s that simple.

I’m not advocating being mean, haughty or arrogant. I’m just bringing attention to a double standard. All of these men have made careers by being blunt, direct, rude, mean, selfish and greedy. They are admired for it and their nastiness or gruff personality alone is what made them successful. Trump was elected president for being “politically incorrect” in other words rude.

Ironically, social media pundits that are critical of snarky Black women absolutely love Black women who are mean violent and clown themselves on reality TV and fight videos. They eat it up with a spoon. But if a Black woman in a position of authority or leadership acts like she’s in charge she’s seen as problematic.

I’m not advocating being a nasty person with poor manners. I have taken issue with Tyra and Wendy. Aretha was clearly a diva. Anyone speaking from a pulpit needs to choose their words carefully. But stop thinking every Black woman owes you nice all the time. It’s as if people want Black women to earn acceptance that they would freely give others. Black women are human and humans are not always likeable and nice but be fair.

Jeana Turner: ANTM Cycle 24

Recently Jeana Turner of ANTM Cycle 24 made a video discussing her experience as a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. Her complaints are similar to complaints of reality TV show contestants since Real World I. Jeana says she was edited in a way that portrayed unfairly. She also said that producers created an environment that would create dramatic situations. And like many other ANTM contestants Jeana says the show hurt her career more than it helped.

I watched Jeana’s season and she was portrayed as a villain. She wasn’t my favorite that season but I didn’t dislike her. I just thought that she was competitive, driven and not particularly warm and friendly towards the other girls. I don’t think she owed them that. I respected Jeana during her season.

I’m not particularly sympathetic to Jeana about the way she was portrayed because many reality TV contestants have talked about their experiences once their show is over. It wouldn’t be difficult to research what it is like to be on a reality TV show. Contestants are not held hostage in their living quarters. They have the choice to leave if they find the circumstances to be unbearable.

The intriguing thing about this video isn’t Jeana’s complaints against the producers of ANTM. The most compelling statement in this video comes just before the thirty minute mark. Jeana posed for Playboy when she was eighteen and she says that she felt judged by Tyra for posing nude. She says of Tyra “You say sex sells but how did that work out for my career?”. Young women have been given a bad bill of sale. Women are being groomed from a young age to be used sexually while getting nothing in return.

I do agree with Jeana that Tyra is a hypocrite. I’ve watched her for years and her producers have cast women that have no romantic or sexual history with men and then asks them to pose nude with male models on ANTM. When the model feels uncomfortable or awkward with the male model they are admonished by the judges panel and told they need to sacrifice to give the photographer a good shot.

On her old talk show she had girls on that were sexually active at young ages and she admonished them for that behavior. So where does Tyra really stand? Does she want to encourage casual sex or protect innocence and purity? I think she just wants to sell a TV show. So I’m with Jeana on that point.

Jeana said that she listened to Tyra’s mantra of sex sells. She was having a difficult time establishing a modeling career so when she got an opportunity to be in Playboy she took it. She later regretted it when her idol that gained fame from modeling underwear and bikinis looked down on her for posing nude.

Other than Anna Nicole Smith I’m not sure that posing for Playboy has lead to anyone’s success in high fashion. But Anna Nicole Smith was one of a kind. Jeana was groomed by feminist teachings that taught her that putting her body on display is empowering for women. Jeana listened to Tyra who became a powerful woman in fashion and television by showing skin.

Jeana must not have been completely comfortable with baring it all because she regrets it now. I’ve never heard Pamela Anderson Lee express regret for posing for Playboy and she’s made several appearances in the magazine. But Pamela became a successful actress by making herself a sex symbol. It was a part of her brand and it suited her personality. I don’t think a compromise was made.

But Pamela Anderson Lee was an exception. She was comfortable with posing nude and was around twenty three the first time she posed for Playboy. Jeana was only eighteen. I think the entertainment industry will make an example of women like Pamela Anderson Lee and Anna Nicole Smith as paradigms of what can happen if you push your boundaries and take a chance. There’s that, and Pamela and Anna Nicole were never really taken seriously. They didn’t even take take themselves seriously.

Here is another example of how new aged morality and feminist thinking is not telling women and girls the entire truth about putting your body on display and modesty. There is a cost that goes along with it and most women are not prepared to pay that price.

Jeana was lied to by a culture that celebrates women selling themselves cheaply for the short term pleasure of men in exchange for validation or favors. Women need to understand that they can choose to pose nude if they want but make sure it’s a strategic move that is a part of your brand that will help you meet your goals. If you want to be taken seriously it’s probably better to remain fully clothed.

Women need to stop selling ourselves short. Jeana has a very unique look and is photogenic. She is driven and passionate about her career. She didn’t need Playboy for recognition in high fashion or acting. She already had what she needs for success. Posing nude did more for Playboy readers than it did for her. I think that’s the idea behind the deceptive teachings of feminism and new aged morality .

Hot Girl Summer: “Perfect is Boring”

Summer 2019 is behind us and you know what, I didn’t do a darn thing. I didn’t visit one beach, pool or amusement park this year. My “Hot Girl Summer” consisted of going to work, going to church going to brunch a few times. All of my adventures and drama came from reading. That’s a good and bad thing at the same time. Ice could have been covering the ground and it would not have made much of a difference to me. I’m going to share and review what I read this summer.

Perfect is Boring

perfect is boring

I read Perfect is Boring this summer by Tyra Banks and her Mama Carolyn London. I didn’t really like this book. I just read it because I’m a Tyra fan. Carolyn’s contributions are better more interesting than Tyra’s. If you’ve followed Tyra’s career there is nothing new here. Tyra gets on the same self righteous, slightly misguided soap boxes in this book as she did on her talk show and as she does on America’s Next Top Model.

This book follows along the same vein as Girl Wash Your Face in that a woman that doesn’t have any real challenges is telling you how to deal with challenges. In Girl Wash Your Face an attractive woman with a successful career and happy home life is telling you how to deal with insecurities.

For decades Tyra has been telling women to embrace what they perceive to be physical imperfections meanwhile she has made millions because she is aesthetically pleasing. It’s not her place to speak because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Tyra is well meaning but watching her tell women on ANTM to embrace their “flaws” is counter productive. It’s always bothered me that on all but perhaps the first few seasons of ANTM there has been a so called plus sized model that is perhaps a size eight.

antm

The latter cycles of ANTM have focused on the fashion model hopefuls and their insecurities. So here we have women that had what it takes to be on a TV show about modeling being coached to be confident by an international super model. Tyra thinks she’s being relatable but she’s nauseating.

I really am a fan though and I’ve watched every of ANTM and I watched her talk show daily when it came on. Tyra is weird and kind of annoying but I love her and I’ve hung on her every word since the mid 90s. But this book was still disappointing.

I was hoping for a celebrity tell all. I wanted her to spill the beans on why she broke up with her baby daddy. What happened between her and Chris Webber? What went wrong between her and that Indian technology mogul. I wanted her to admit that she is jealous of Naomi Campbell and absolutely obsessed with her.

The book did give a bit of the behind the scenes information about America’s Next Top Model. Tyra talked a bit about the legendary scene where she snapped on the young girl and yelled “- — ——- — —! — —- — ——- — —!” Some of you know what I’m talking about but if you don’t:

None of that happened in this book. She just wrote about self esteem and self respect. I found it to be pretty dull but if someone got something out of it that’s great. Tyra’s mom Carolyn briefly told her life story in the book. I’m familiar with Carolyn because she’s made appearances on ANTM. Her story is truly inspirational.

tyra's mom

Carolyn was a young naive mother of two children. She is a hard worker but most of all she is smart with good instincts. Carolyn’s smarts and artistic talents are what got Tyra to where she is today. She is a very talented photographer with an eye for fashion and style. And she was good at strategizing. Carolyn is a woman that got ahead by being smart and putting well thought out plans into action. I think she could be an inspiration to a lot of women.

Fun fact. A few years ago I read about a woman giving her young daughter a period party when she started menstruating. She probably stole that from Carolyn. Carolyn did that for Tyra when she began her lady’s time and she wrote about it in Perfect is Boring Carolyn said that she was very naive about sex even after becoming pregnant and she wanted her daughter to be informed and have a good understanding of her body.

I can’t say that I would recommend this book even if you are in middle school. I’m sure there are better literary choices you can make. But if you do decided to read it save time and skim past Tyra’s parts and jump to Carolyn’s passages. If you’re a die hard Tyra fan you may enjoy this book. It’s kind of like calling an old friend.

Nothing is Promised

Last week supermodel and America’s Next Top Modelfinalist, Winnie Harlow a.k.a Chantelle answered questions from Bravo’s Andy Cohen that set off, I won’t say controversy but a bit of social media cattiness from former America’s Next Top Model contestants and fans. Winnie said that the show didn’t do anything to help her develop her career. Other former contestants and fans think she’s being ungrateful. But a few ANTM alumni agree with Winnie.

The first winner of America’s Next Top Model Adrianne Curry said years ago that the show didn’t do anything for her career. Other models from early seasons said that the show not only didn’t help them become successful but it was a hindrance to getting signed with an agency. Other former contestants on the show credit ANTM for giving them their start in the business and giving them a platform from which to speak.

I don’t have a problem with Winnie telling her story and giving her opinion on the matter. But I do take her words with a grain of salt. I watched her season of the show and she didn’t come across as a very likable character. There was an arrogance and sense of entitlement about her and she wasn’t well liked by other cast mates in the Top Model House.

It’s hard to gauge how effective ANTM is in launching careers because there aren’t many super star models anymore. Fashion magazines use actresses, reality show stars and the children of famous people in their ads. The models that don’t fit into those categories may be successful but they aren’t household names like the super models of the 80s and 90s.

I am a long time fan of America’s Next Top Model and while viewing each season I have questioned whether many of the girls could really go on and model. The contestants that are chosen are people that look good on TV but they don’t really look like people that you see walking in fashion shows or in fashion magazines. I don’t think that it matter much because each season thousands of hopefuls audition to fill fourteen spots on the show.

Tyra also uses the show as her own personal soap box. She has used the show as a platform to challenge beauty standards and she picks models accordingly. Yet, fashion models are overwhelmingly tall, thin, young and European. ANTM has featured contestants that speak well to Tyra’s beliefs but I’m not sure they are what the fashion industry is looking for.

Nonetheless, I have seen ANTM contestants acting on TV programs and in print ads. I follow many of the former contestants on Instagram and they seem to have entertainment careers. But I’ll admit it’s always hard to tell who is successful and who isn’t from Instagram pages.

I’m sure being on a show like America’s Next Top Model is a great learning and opportunity for young models especially in the social media age. But just like American Idol, The Voice and other talent finding competitions there are some contestants that are successful once their season is over and others that are never heard from again.

So it seems that being a contestant on ANTM is a lot like going to college. You show up with hopes and dreams for the future. Your experience in the program may give some valuable lessons that will help you achieve your goals but winning ANTM, American Idol, making it to the NFL or NBA draft does not in and of itself promise success. Often times people that struggle in the initial stages of their career become stars.

When you hear Jennifer Hudson’s powerful voice remember that she was an American Idol loser and she only got as far as she did in the competition because Randy Jackson saved her. Tom Brady wasn’t a top NFL draft pick and Michael Jordan didn’t make his school’s basketball tryouts one year. You just have to make the most of your opportunities and keep plugging away at your goals. I believe that people that don’t give up achieve a measure of success but stay humble because nothing is promised to anyone.