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I listened to I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy. It’s OK. I think it would be a good book for a book club discussion. There is a lot to unpack which is what this book is about. When this book was released I was appalled by the title and marketing. They did that for shock value and controversy.

The way the book was marketed doesn’t really reflect the the book. That happens often with popular books. I’m Glad My Mom Died is more about Jeanette’s personal journey from child actress to adult than it is her relationship with her mother.

Jeanette McCurdy was a child star who became famous on the Nickelodeon series iCarly which ran from ’07-’12. Her mother was a stage mom who had cancer most of her life and died when Jeanette was eighteen. I’m going to describe Jeanette’s mother as a real piece of work. Her mother was manipulative and pushy and didn’t respect boundaries or other people including her daughter.

Her mother had great instincts for styling and show business. She was also a great advocate for her daughter. Sometimes I think stage parents get a bad rap. Despite her significant faults I think the same can be said for Jeanette’s mother too.

The proof is in the pudding. From Mozart, to Usher, to Kobe Bryant to Jeanette McCurdy it’s hard to argue with their success. I have a difficult time imagining having cancer for sixteen years so I won’t judge her harshly but yeah, her actions were questionable and there were some serious character flaws. The mom was a real piece of work.

Family dynamics are complicated. I think that’s especially the case for relationships between mothers and daughters. We all have a lot to unpack. Jeanette is thirty one now. If I met her I would tell her that it took me a long time to see my parents as merely human with their own story of which I am a small part. Once people come to understand their parents as a man and woman on their own journey it becomes much easier to understand and empathize with them.

Jeanette isn’t married nor has she had children. It would be interesting to know what that journey would be like. I would also tell Jeanette that most people would admit to taking on a lot of their parents quirks and thought processes as they get older.