Why do Children Bully?

Bullying has been a hot topic for the last few years and this week the bullying hype has reached a fever pitch due to the #Keaton hashtag on Twitter.  People love to reflect on why children are so cruel to each other.  To me it is painfully obvious why children mistreat each other to the point that a student may commit suicide because of taunting at school.  Children mistreat each other because they are growing up in a mean, disrespectful society that does not value others.

I’ve been noticing for years that people love to strong arm one another in modern day America.  There is no respect for a difference of opinion and when people do not do what we want we try to force our will on them.  I noticed that in various customer service positions I’ve held.

If a store clerk says “Sorry you can’t bring this back you’ve owned it longer than what our return policy allows” or “Sorry this coupon is expired” or “Sorry you can’t substitute the sides and still get this at the same price” people become mean as hell.  They use language to demean the clerk and demand to speak with a manager.  If management doesn’t do what they want they call the corporate office and rudely make demands and if they don’t get their way they threaten to slander the company on the internet.  They’re bullies that don’t respect the boundaries of others and want to force their will.

The “Real Housewives”, “Basketball Wives” and “Love and Hip Hop” are popular reality show franchises that give us a glimpse into the private lives of the wealthy and privileged.  These tales involve adults, some of whom are grandmothers, that treat each other terribly and sometimes they are even violent to one another.  The characters on these shows are sensitive and have hair trigger tempers.  Their interactions often lead to mean words being thrown back and forth, wine being thrown in someone’s face and/or punches being thrown.  There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of these shows are family viewing in many American households.

Social media is another place where mean, rude, crass behavior has become normal.  People call strangers names and demean each other for their opinions.  The behavior gets even worse when people start talking about and to celebrities.  Geez, people love to build celebrities up and then drag them through the mud or “cancel” them.

To top it off look at who Americans chose to be their leader in 2016.  A man was democratically elected because Americans want a president that speaks his mind and isn’t politically correct.  He does what he wants and doesn’t consider others.  He grabs bitches by the pussy!  In other words Americans wanted a bully as a president.  The last president we had was considerate, polite, professional and tried to help people.  What a punk!

So the next time anyone ponders why children bully each other just look at what is surrounding them as they grow up.  They are surrounded by bullying in real live, in the media and in entertainment.  Bullying and treating others with disdain is normal for children.  So don’t blame children for the bullying.  It’s not their fault that they are growing up in this modern day trashy American culture.

 

Feminist Identity

Modern feminism is very confusing to me.  It’s as if it can’t decide which message it wants to spread.  On one hand we’ve been taught that women can be soldiers, police officers, firefighters, or the President of the United States.  But we are also being told that women are delicate flowers that can not be expected to speak up and stand up for themselves if a man gives them unwanted attention.  Feminism needs to pick it’s identity because I don’t think you can claim to be bold and brave and passive and childlike at the same time.

I was born in the mid 70’s so I inherited the Gloria Steinem, “I am woman hear me roar”, brand of feminism.  I’ve never completely bought into it.  I definitely believe that women should be independent and that we should be able to pursue any career that we choose as long as our talent, abilities and skills are competitive with others in the same field.  There is absolutely no reason that women should be barred or discriminated against in most fields.

The aspect of feminism that I’ve never agreed with is that men and women are equal.  Math was never my strong suit but I know that equal means the same.  I don’t believe that either gender is superior to the other but I do believe that men and women are different.  We are just hard wired differently.

Feminism has been telling women for decades to act like men and take on masculine characteristics.  I think this in itself is sexist and shows a lack of appreciation for femininity.  I believe that women are more modest by nature.  However, feminism has told women to put their bodies on display as often as possible.

60’s style feminism also brought about the sexual revolution which hasn’t worked out very well for women.  By nature women yearn for exclusive relationships.  Feminism has taught women to be sexually liberated and have as many partners as possible.  It seems to me that this attitude from women have made men value women less and it’s made it more difficult to find men that are interested in commitment and family.  If sex is readily available for men many of them don’t see the need to be married.

Sexual assault and street harassment is a hot button issue for today’s young feminists.  I see them on Twitter all the time complaining about their space being violated by men publicly or privately.  I don’t understand why young women can’t tell men on the street to leave them alone.  If a man at the workplace is making unwanted advances why don’t these ladies make it clear that they are not interested and if the behavior continues document the incidents and report them to human resources.

For decades feminism has encouraged women to be bold and assertive but now it’s claiming that women are delicate flowers that need to be protected.  Which is it?  There use to be societal norms that made men take relationships more seriously, respect a woman’s space and take more responsibility as a father.  But feminist attitudes chipped away at the conventions and now they are all but destroyed.

Women have always had a hard time regardless of the culture or time period.  Feminism started off well and still offers a lot of great values.  But I think the great feminist mistake was not valuing and respecting femininity and teaching young women to be more like men.  A man is not superior to a woman but we are not equal, meaning the same either.  I want to be respected for my skills, talent and work but I want to be respected as a woman too.

God Prevails over Man Made Leadership but Choose your Leadership Wisely

It a scary time in America right now.  We don’t know what to expect from our political leadership right now.  They seem to be trying to change the system that we’ve had in America to a new system that exclusively benefits the wealthiest of the wealthy and makes it difficult for middle class and poor people to survive.  I think that the democratically elected Republican leadership in this country is downright evil and those that support it are stupid and evil as well.  Perilous times are ahead.

But the Bible tells us that there is nothing new under the sun.  The world has seen evil, self centered, arrogant, egotistical, conceited, cold hearted, foolish, greedy, tyrannical leadership before.  The Bible is full of stories of heavy handed poor leadership.  And those that were faithful to God always prevailed.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I’m not one of these passive Christians that opts out of politics because “The Lord always reigns supreme” or “God is in Control”.  I agree with these quotes but I don’t think that means you can’t have a political opinion and act in your best interest.  I can’t stand any of these flaky Christians that don’t vote because “The system is not Godly”.  I resent a lot of stupid, gullible Christians for helping to make America ground zero for future global economic collapse, xenophobia, racism, sexism, pedophilia, poor manners and general stupidity and ignorance.

At this point in human history Americans just have to take things day by day and be prayerful and have faith in God.  Take inspiration from Biblical heroes like Daniel who stood up to King Darius in the book of Daniel.  Also in Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar order three boys into a fiery furnace for not bowing down to him.   Be inspired by the stories of Moses and the Jews who were brutally oppressed by Pharaoh  in Exodus.  Remember the persecution of infants by King Herod in the Gospels.  All of those that were persecuted by evil leaders persevered with faith from God.  They were blessed because the were steadfast in their beliefs and unafraid of evil.

So remember that there is nothing new under the sun.  We live in uncertain times in America right now so have faith in God and love each other.  With that being said vote better next time and stop being so dense.  Don Don’s presidency has nothing to do with Jesus and it will not benefit you unless you are rich.  There is no need to test God like this.  I would believe in the Lord if I lived in Shangri-La so why did these fools open the flood gates of misery, poverty and pestilence.  Have faith.  Be smart.

Ecclesiastes 1:9King James Version (KJV)
9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

2 Timothy 3:1-5New International Version (NIV)
3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

 

Grown Woman Sex Appeal

I am a forty two year old woman that will turn forty three in February of 2018.  People usually think I’m younger than what I am.  Sometimes people are a full decade or more off when they guess my age.  For the most part I have taken pride in this.  But lately it has begun to grate my nerves when I hear a person say that a woman looks great for her age.  What’s wrong with looking your age?  What exactly is a certain age supposed to look like?

As I have gotten older I have learned to appreciate what I call “grown woman sexy”.  Grown woman sexy is hard to explain or pin point.  But all I can say is that women don’t even start to have it until they are at least thirty two.  Grown woman sexy is physical beauty mixed with poise and sophistication.  Not many people have that in their twenties.

It’s a little perverse to me the way the world obsesses over youthful beauty.   There is a lot to be said about wide eyed, energetic, youthful beauty.  It is indeed lovely and I admire watching it on America’s Next Top Model, beauty pageants and in pro sports.  But if you are fifty and still trying to attract a beautiful twenty year old lover, any twenty year old lover, you’re a bit peculiar.  What’s wrong with other fifty year old people?  Why didn’t you snag your young dream lover when you were young and cute yourself?

I’m mostly posing these questions to men because women don’t seem to have the same hang ups on youth.  As I’ve gotten older I don’t have a problem with a receding hair line or a dad bod.  It’s kind of hot really.  And gray hair is sexy!  When you get older and you are on the dating market you need to face reality and deal with grown people ****.  I appreciate maturity and how it looks.

If I was a man I think I would appreciate a woman with a bit of a sloppy mid section.  I don’t think cesarean scars or stretch marks would be a problem.  I also think that laugh lines and crows feet add character.  Aging characteristics just make a lady look different but I don’t feel like looks are diminished until you hit the elderly stage of life.  A woman can be active and vibrant until she’s made it to that hip replacement age.  Until then live it up girls!

You couldn’t pay me to be in my twenties again.  It was fine while it was happening but there’s nothing about my twenties I want to relive.  I have grown so much and I have been very blessed so I feel that I have a lot to look forward to in life even once I make it (Lord willing) to hip replacement age.

I think that prime time for women is between thirty two – thirty seven (or older).  You are still young enough to take chances and enjoy the youthful pleasures of life but you’re too old to be naive and foolish (hopefully).  By the time you are in your mid thirties a woman has an education beyond high school even if it’s from the school of hard knocks.  And she has had some good and bad experiences that make her a more compelling person.

I honestly think the fixation people have with youthful female beauty is that a lot of men want to treat women like blow up dolls.  There is little appreciation for a mature woman’s point of view in this world.  (I think that’s how the U.S. ended up with Donnie for president).  Outside of marriage and motherhood American society doesn’t take much interest in the experiences of adult women.

I also think that making women feel bad about aging is yet another way men try to control women.  Society holds many judgments like this against women.  The number of sexual partners, failed relationships, children, weight and age are all used as indictments against women but not against men.  People will use anything on this list and you can probably think of a few more on your own, to tell a woman she isn’t good enough or worthy enough to be respected or loved.

If women don’t measure up to the standards that our culture has set for her she is told to settle and accept poor treatment from partners, poor wages from employers and little to no voice in the world around her.  The bias placed on aging women is probably the most cruel because she is being judged and punished for not dying.  What a message to send women as they start to get a few gray hairs.  Age is another device to control women.

Be mindful of telling a woman she looks great for her age.  If you want to give her a compliment just tell her she looks great.  Period.  Telling someone they look younger than what they are may be a matter of fact but not necessarily a compliment.  There is no reason why younger should automatically be considered better.

Enjoy the age you are and don’t look back.  You would be giving up too much if you did.  Be the best you that you can be at this point in your life.  Be grateful for all of your experiences.  They give you a rich history and give you stories to tell at parties.  And if you’re blessed this history plus exercise and eating right will help you achieve peak grown woman sexy.

 

 

Respect is Required

Women need to require respect; not love, attention or affection.  It all comes down to respect and if my theory is correct the rest will follow.  It’s just a theory because no one has proven me right yet.  Respect is black and white and you know it when you see it.  Love is harder to identify and affection is cheap these days.

Women seem to be a bit desperate in 2017 and it’s pretty sad.  We have more professional opportunities than we’ve ever had and we can make our own choices when it comes to relationships.  But many of us seem to be choosing to run after the chance to be loved as if we are puppies that have been left home alone all day.

I did that type of things in my younger more naive days.  I use to assume that if a man was calling you daily and taking you out he was interested in a relationship that would lead to marriage.  I’ve learned that men will engage in relationships for years with women that they have no intention of marrying.  I went through one relationship like that in my starry eyed mid twenties and then I did it again during my scary age, the early thirties.

These men were not bad people and I don’t really fault them for anything.  But I gave them my heart after receiving a little bit of attention and affection.  I didn’t make them prove to me that they respected me as a woman.  I don’t even think I knew what that meant at the time.

Women are being told that we are wrong for being too emotional in relationships and wanting a commitment.  Sorry guys but I’m a woman and this isn’t a porn movie where you can separate the woman from her vagina.  Women tend to want to be committed and eventually married.  I understand that there are exceptions to rules but that’s typically how women are.

Because the world doesn’t really respect a feminine nature relationships are now being played by men’s rules.  Men are under no pressure to commit to women or even be nice to them.  But sex is expected in casual relationships right away.  Women often feel pressure to have sex just to get the chance at another date.  The men will take the sex and they may call her again or they may not.  Men may live with the mother of their children for years and he may marry her or he may not.  It’s all up to him and what he feels like doing.

I’ve heard the cliche that marriage is just a piece of paper and it doesn’t make a commitment.  I’ve heard women say this.  But it’s funny that after dating several years when the man asks the women usually say yes.  She’s been waiting around with baited breath for years and now the man feels that she is the best option after looking around the market he commits.

I think that if a woman just wants a casual or even mostly sexual relationship she had better make sure a man respect her first.  I don’t see how anyone can get turned on by someone they have doubts about.  In 2017 if you don’t have doubts about a person you might start seeing you haven’t been paying attention.  If a lady is not wanting marriage or an ongoing romance she should at least want the man to be nice to her and care for her well being.  I don’t see how even a casual fling can be worthwhile without basic respect.

Once a man has respect for a woman I think love and affection will follow.  All of us girls need to relax and stop being so anxious.  Too many of us are anxious to be some man’s concubine.  People are proud of it these days.  Just look at this picture of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez.

jrod

I know I shouldn’t feel bad for someone like Jennifer Lopez but I do.  This seems desperate and childish to me.  This woman is well into her forties for goodness sake and the mother of two.  She is wealthy and has a very successful career as a pop singer.  Why is she so proud to be this man’s piece of tail?  I don’t think that a man with good intentions treats the woman that he loves like this in “Vanity Fair”.  Where is the respect?

I’ve seen several pictures on Instagram of couples where the man is grabbing the woman’s behinds and the women stand there looking satisfied and in love.  I think some of them were engagement photos.  Now why aren’t there pictures of women grabbing men’s crotches and looking at the camera as the proud own while the man looks all starry eyed?  It probably doesn’t happen because men wouldn’t publicly tolerate that type of disrespect.

So ladies, we need to seek respect and the rest will come afterwards.  Don’t be desperate to attach yourself to a man that may not really love you.  I believe the basis of love is respect.  Think about what respect is and what it looks like.  It is probably different for everyone but here is the definition to help.  Notice that tits, ass and sexual prowess is not mentioned in the definition of respect.  That can be found anywhere and none of those things make you valuable beyond the end of a man’s ****.

re·spect
rəˈspekt/
noun
  1. 1.
    a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
    “the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor”
    synonyms: esteemregard, high opinion, admirationreverencedeferencehonor

    “the respect due to a great artist”
  2. 2.
    a particular aspect, point, or detail.
    “the government’s record in this respect is a mixed one”
    synonyms: aspectregardfacetfeaturewaysenseparticularpointdetail

    “the report was accurate in every respect”
verb
  1. 1.
    admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
    “she was respected by everyone she worked with”
    synonyms: esteemadmire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, reverereverencehonor

    “she is highly respected in the book industry”

Kansas City Fashion Week

Kansas City Fashion Week was October 8-14.  The event took place downtown Kansas City, MO at Union Station.  I went to the Thursday night show after work and I was able to buy a ticket at the door.  I enjoyed the show and I was impressed with the production.  It was a fun, glamorous event and I am likely to attend next year.

The work of the featured designers was exciting and contemporary.  Some of them are local, regional and even nationally known designers.  I was glad to see several African American fashion designers in the line up.  I’ve often wondered why there hasn’t been a Black designer to hit it big in the fashion industry.  African Americans influence fashion globally but there is no Black designer that’s on par with Tom Ford or Calvin Klein.  It would be great to see someone from the Midwest blaze that trail.

My favorite designers were Miranda Hanson and Travis Cal.  Miranda Hanson is a seventeen year old dress maker.  Her designs are feminine and ethereal.  She used soft pastel colors and fabrics that look like satin.  I can see them being worn for formals and in weddings.  Her models wore baby’s breath in their hair and they all kind of looked like little pixies.  Her show was beautiful and her story is inspiring.

I loved Travis Cal’s show.  Travis Cal went to high school in Kansas City and he clearly had a great deal of support from the crowd.  His collection is urban, hip, sexy and trendy.  He used several African American models and his collection was influenced by African art.  He used a bold color palate and and a lot of metallic elements. I loved it!

If you like to support the arts and creativity in Kansas City you should come out for Kansas City Fashion Week next winter for Spring 2018.  Tickets ranged from around $30-$90.  It’s a great event.

#metoo

I’ve been considering writing about my experience with rape for months.  I’ve thought about writing my story as a catharsis, for revenge and to help others.  The #metoo has helped me make the decision to publish my story.  I’m going to be very brief and to the point.  I don’t think all of the details are necessary.

Three years ago I met a man on OKCupid.  He and I communicated for around four months and I saw him in person two or three times within that time frame.  While I was getting to know this man that goes by the name David Gosh of Houston, Texas I told him that I was not interested in a sexual relationship.

I explained that I wanted to live my life by Biblical rules and that meant that I wouldn’t have sex again until I was married.  He told me that he respected that and sex would not be an issue in our relationship.  He traveled for work and came to Kansas City often.  On one of his trips to Kansas City I decided to spend time with him in his hotel room.  I told him that sex of all kinds was still off the table but we could kiss, hug and cuddle.

After I got off work I went to meet David.  We went to dinner and then back to his hotel room to relax and watch TV.  I brought a change of clothes, a tank top and sweat pants with me.  I changed into my comfortable clothes.  I had been to one of his hotel rooms before and that one had a couch.  This one didn’t have a couch area in front of a TV.  There was just a bed.  That was probably by design.

I got in the bed and David turned off the lights.  He began kissing me and groping me.  He began taking off my clothes and I told him no and to stop repeatedly.  Ultimately I gave in to his advances and the sex act happened.  Afterwards, David took a quick shower and told me he had to get up early tomorrow so I had to leave.

I changed my clothes and left.  After reliving the incident in my mind I felt very used and violated.  After a month I reported what happened to the Kansas City Police Department but I decided not to pursue charges for a variety of reasons.  His name was removed from the police report.

I’ve been taken advantage of in other ways before.  I’ve had my purse stolen, a credit card number stolen on a separate occasion.  I had a window busted out of my car and the radio was stolen.  In those situations after the window was fixed, I got a new purse and the credit card company was notified of the theft I felt whole and I was no longer affected by the crime.  But it is very difficult to get past a violation against your body.  I don’t know if this was made worse because I trusted the wrong person.

I never saw David again after that night.  Once I got home I texted him and let him know that I was upset and thought he was a rapist.  He doesn’t believe he raped me.  He said “I knew you wanted to fuck me when you said you brought different clothes”.  I brought the same type of clothes that I would have worn if I had gone home after work.

I also sent him a few hateful threatening e mails months later.  He asked if we could be friends again.  I laughed out loud when I read that.  That was my last contact with David Gosh of Houston, Texas.  I hope his home flooded.  If he even really lives in Houston or if David Gosh is even his name.  I don’t really know because my entire brief relationship with him was a lie.

 

 

The Last Days of the NFL

I think we are witnessing the last days of the NFL.  I don’t think it will die out in a year or two or even five.  I say give it ten to fifteen years and the NFL as we know if will be history.  I don’t think any boycott on either side of the national anthem debate will hurt the NFL.  They are way too big for that and I doubt the sincerity of those that claim to be  boycotting.

I think the demise of the NFL is going to come about because of today’s young athletes.  When I say young I mean 10-17 years old.  Children are always listening and they are hearing and seeing the conversations adults are having about the flag, patriotism and police brutality. If football doesn’t fascinate an American boy in his youth the passion will probably never be there and that will affect the fan base and NFL recruitment.

I grew up in the Detroit area and I have vivid childhood memories of Detroit Lions games being viewed in my home.  I recall one game when I was around three that I was watching with my dad and he threw a shoe at the TV.  (If you know anything about the Detroit Lions you can understand my father’s frustration.)  My mother was a Detroit Lions fan when they had their 0-16 season.  And I remember many Thanksgivings being ruined because of the way the Lions performed on national TV.  These memories never leave a person.

I live in Kansas City now and I’ve developed a fondness for the Kansas City Chiefs but the Lions are always going to be my team and the Chiefs are my backup team.  But if  the adults around me as a child weren’t interested in football or were angry at the NFL I don’t know that I would have much interest in the sport as an adult.

As a Black woman if I was the mother of a young son I don’t think I would encourage him to play organized football.  I’m not sure I would encourage my son to play any sport for anything other than exercise and socializing.  I’ve felt this way for years due to the rough nature of football and the fear of my son suffering permanent brain damage due to concussions.  But I don’t think that pro sports is a good career choice for Black men anymore.  Despite the money, fame and passion for the game I don’t think it’s worth it.

Black men in the sports world are treated terribly these days.  Cam Newton is one of my favorites and he has been treated like garbage by fans and the media.  My favorite Chief Marcus Peters gets dragged on social media after ever game despite being a key player on a 5-0 team.  He has consistently sat down for the national anthem this season and does not explain his reasons for doing so.  I think he’s smart for that because he would be criticized for anything he said.

I’ve read stories about high school athletes being kicked off of their football teams for taking the knee.  I saw a different story about a high school student that protested during the anthem and he was bullied on social media for it.  I see no reason to encourage a young Black boy to participate in organized sports.  There’s nothing in it for them unless they swallow their pride and become a prized animal of sorts for another man.  It seems that America wants its pro athletes to perform for them,  take the pictures but keep quiet like one of the horses in the Kentucky Derby.

I saw a documentary on TV once about football and concussions.  An expert on the program said that if a small percent of American mothers refused to let their sons play football it would change the game.  I can see many American mothers refusing to let their sons play football because of the national anthem controversy regardless of the side they fall on.

But if Black women refused to let their sons play ball or if Black boys decided to take interest in the arts or choir or horticulture the NFL as we know it dies.  It will not survive.  In ten years I will be fifty two.  I will probably still be alive and completely coherent.  I will remember men, athletes, performers named Neon Deion Sanders, Barry Sanders, Megatron, Tyreek Hill and Odell Beckham that lit up the football field.

The field of athletes that feeds into the college system and into the NFL will be weakened if American Black boys are disinterested in or hold disdain for the NFL and their fans.  There won’t be many if any exciting, charismatic athletes like those I mentioned earlier in the future.  And even if there are a few they may not have much competion which leads to the downfall of America’s favorite sport.

There are some good White football players.  There are some great White quarterbacks, some good defensive players, kickers and punters and then there is Gronkowski and the man who makes my heart go pitter pat, Travis Kelce.  But the NFL’s personality, style and soul has come from Black men and they aren’t going to find it again outside of Black Americans.

Without African Americans the league will be much slower, more reserved and honestly dull.  No one, not even the fake hillbilly patriots are going to watch that.  But the NFL juggernaut will go down without a fight.  They will do something to try and reclaim their brand.  In the future the NFL will probably be like gladiator matches in ancient Rome.  They will probably release wild tigers into the stadium in order to speed up the slow pokes.

Or perhaps they will draft athletes.  By that I don’t mean “Yaaay, I’m a first round draft pick so now I’m gonna buy my mama a house!”  I mean please show up to this office at the appointed time or face consequences Marquiese.  Marquiese will probably end up wrestling tigers too.  In an ever increasing callous society that is infatuated with violence and doesn’t love people I think it could happen.  At that point the NFL will be desperate for ratings and will do anything to recoup lost revenue.

I’m sure the NFL is at the end of its golden age.  I’m going to enjoy it while I can and watch it’s slow downward spiral.  I can’t be alone in having resentful feelings toward these controlling racists that demand that Black men salute “their” flag.  I can’t be the only person that is appalled by the way so called fans talk to athletes on social media.  Even with the promise of fame and riches it seems like a dead end and I wouldn’t want any son of mine entertaining hateful Neo Nazis or aveage Americans, it’s getting hard to tell the difference, while sacrificing his body.  Nope, I’d rather my son be a dentist.

I’ve always enjoyed sports because it’s objective.  There beginnings, religion, political and social connections were irrelevant.  Athletes earned their spot in the NFL because they were the best and the team managers wanted to win.  Now athletes are getting picked off because of their beliefs.  The league won’t be as competitive and everyone that actually knows the sport will be aware of it.  The NFL, just like American democracy itself is another institution that is suffering because of America’s commitment to racism and White supremacy.

Pretty is not Special

I am not a feminist.  I think the modern feminist movement is sorely misguided in many ways and they do diminish women’s power.  They encourage events such as Amber Rose’s Slut Walk.  Feminists have convinced women that if they are confident and comfortable with themselves that they will put their body on display for the world to see, ogle and judge.  And the men of the world say “OK” with a shrug.  This all works out great for them.

The most empowering message that I think can be shared with young women is that pretty is not special.  Pretty is great but it is far too common to make you special.  And there are so many different types of pretty in the world that pretty connoisseurs can sample your type of pretty and then move on to a different type of pretty.

Besides that pretty is bountiful.  I see it all over the place.  I live in Kansas City, MO.  Kansas City isn’t a glamorous place like New York or Paris but my goodness I have seen some gorgeous women in this town.  I’ve seen them at the night spots, churches, the drug store, shopping malls they’re everywhere.  They range in age from sixteen to sixty.  They are fair skinned to deep brown, petite to pleasantly plump, conservative, sexy, edgy, trendy you name it.  So if pretty is what you focus on you’re really just another face in the crowd if you’re in certain crowds.  I for one think any woman can be pretty.  It just takes a little style.

And there is no finish line to pretty.  There’s really no way to know if you’re the fairest of them all because no one is cute to everyone and everyone is cute to someone.  The quest for pretty can be exhausting.  Are you ever pretty enough?  And one must remember that Father Time is always right behind you.  I don’t think that Father Time necessarily destroys beauty but he certainly changes it to a different kind of beauty that is not appreciated.

I am realistic and I think pretty is good.  It’s certainly better than ugly.  And certain opportunities will only be opened to those that are deemed pretty.  You only have one body so by all means cherish it and decorate it well.  But pretty needs to go along with other things or it is useless and possibly even irritating.  Pretty needs to be partnered with a good spirit, a keen intellect and or an enjoyable personality.  All of those things will outlast the youthful beauty that society puts on a pedestal.

Not that anyone has asked but I advise all women to enjoy and protect the beauty of your youth but don’t make it an idol.  You are more than your shell.  Let all of your gifts shine.  Some of them can last a lifetime even if you live a long life.  Don’t let this world tell you that your value depends on how you measure up to beauty queens or Low Rider models.  Your value is not dependent on how many men approach you when you are out for a night on the town.  Your value is not determined by the status of the men you attract.

2017 is a dangerous time for women.  Young women and men are being fed foolishness under the guise of feminism.  Men and women need to retrain themselves to value women for something other than physical appearance.  We will all be well served when we learn to value women as whole human beings.

Curtis Granderson: the Great Unifier

Absolutely anything can turn into an argument on social media.  The most innocuous comment can draw a sharp tongued response from a fellow social media user with a chip on their shoulder.  We can’t agree on anything these days.  America is sharply divided by ideology: Democrat, Republican, faithful, Atheist, does pineapple belong on pizza or not, who do you hate more the Patriots or the Cowboys?  In this day and age we have a hard time respectfully allowing others to have an opinion without passing judgement on their character.  I do it too.

But I’ve noticed that there is one subject everyone agrees on: Curtis Granderson. No one ever says anything bad about him.  Like never, ever.  All of the social media comments that I’ve seen about Curtis have been admirable.  That’s an incredible accomplishment in an environment where a picture of a cupcake or puppy can start an argument.

Curtis is the outfielder Curtis Granderson for the LA Dodgers.  I’ve followed his career since he played for my Detroit Tigers around ten years ago.  I’ve had a crush on the man since then.  He’s tall, athletic, Black, wealthy and absolutely charming with old fashioned manners.  You can tell he was raised by adult parents with common sense and morals that instilled good values in their son.  That’s rare.  The only person that compares is J.J. Watt who is the blonde, blue eyed NFL equivalent.

I think the secret to Curtis’ popularity is that we don’t know much about the man.  I’ve looked for information about the man’s personal life because I’ve been in love with him for like a decade but there isn’t much out there.  Other than a Wikipedia page, articles about his charity and stats Curtis Granderson is a mystery.  He has not given us anything to talk about or judge.  Instead of seeking attention he uses discretion.  Discretion is not appreciated much in this social media world of ours.

Anyway, God bless Curtis Granderson.  I’m still hoping the Royals will win the Wild Card and make it into the Pennant Race and make a good run for another World Series ring.  Honesly, it’s not looking great for the Royals so I will jump on the LA Dodgers bandwagon and cheer them on for a World Series ring.  Curtis deserves it.  He’s had an impressive career and is a more impressive human being.  Thank you Curtis Granderson for standing for class, tact and professionalism.  The world appreciates you.