Require Respect and Honor: Don’t Be a Handmaiden

Black women deserve to be honored and respected in their relationships with men. Black women deserve commitments from romantic partners. Black women deserve to raise their children in intact families and have responsible and involved fathers for their children. Black women deserve to be invested in financially. But young Black women are being influenced to not require or expect those things.

Yet many Black women are having children for men that have no good intentions towards them. By good intentions I mean traditional marriage. The majority of Black children grow up in single parent homes. Single motherhood has been glamorized and exalted in the Black community but the co parents to these women don’t seem to be very appreciative of their children’s mothers. You don’t have to go very far on social media before you find a man degrading the mother of his child.

What does that sound like to you? To me it sounds like Black women are being treated as handmaidens, mammies, wet nurses, brood mares. I know it’s harsh to hear but it’s up to Black women to stop it. The way they stop it is by accepting no less than respect, honor and commitment.

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/respect?s=t

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/honor

There are benefits to being a single woman. But there aren’t many benefits to being a single mother aside from escaping an abusive and volatile relationship or a deadbeat that is a liability instead of an asset. Those kind of relationships should be avoided and abandoned whether children are involved or not.

Two parent households provide the children with the best opportunity to thrive. Nuclear families allow women to devote more energy into their children. Marriage also provides protection for women and children. If the marriage is healthy it provides a good model for children to learn about relationships between men and women.

Some will say that marriage is just a piece of paper and that it isn’t necessary for a happy home life. People have been saying that for a generation now but that hasn’t happened. Now that women have been brainwashed by feminism to believe that they don’t need to be respected and honored families are being started haphazardly through hook ups and relationships that never had any stable footing. These relationships have not yielded good results for children, women or men.

There is a large gold digging community on social media that encourages women to “secure the bag”. I’m all for women pursuing men with money but if there is no honor or respect there you are just being a whore. A commitment still needs to be made. Wealthy men marry all the time.

Don’t breed children for unworthy men. Don provide men with an opportunity to be an IG dad. It’s an privilege to be a father and it’s a chance for a man to leave a legacy in the world. Children are also a lot of responsibility. It’s part of a man’s responsibility to establish a nurturing and stable family unit for his children. That is achieved by choosing a wife not choosing a handmaiden.

This is a video I made a while back for my You Tube channel.

Black women should stop allowing themselves to be turned into handmaiden, wet nurses, mammies and brood mares. The only way they are going to achieve this is by accepting nothing less than respect, honor and commitment from men. If you don’t get the respect you want then live your life on your terms instead of compromising with a man that never chose to honor you.

The World Gets More Patriarchal Every Day

The world gets more patriarchal every day. I came to that conclusion while reading the tweets about Andrew Gillum’s appearance on “The Tamron Hall Show”. Andrew Gillum is the former mayor of Tallahassee, FL and he made a unsuccessful run for the governor of Florida. His gubernatorial bid put him in the national limelight and made him a young star in the Democratic party.

Andrew was a part of a scandal that involved him, meth, a male prostitute and a hotel room in Florida. He was discovered in a puddle of his own vomit in the hotel room after partying it up with the prostitute. Andrew is a married man with three young children.

Andrew made an appearance on daytime TV and came out as bisexual. His faithful and supportive wife Jai was by his side. She didn’t share any plans on filing for divorce. She seems determined to stand by her man despite Andrew’s wild weekend. All of that is great and I’m actually happy for Andrew and his family.

Gillum’s scandal never seemed like enough to derail a career to me. As soon as I heard about Andrew’s skeletons I thought of former DC mayor Marion Barry. I have childhood memories of Marion Barry snorting crack on surveillance tape on the evening news.

Marion was reelected as mayor by the people of DC. I suppose if an elected official does a good job their extracarricular activities are no ones business. If I was a resident of Florida and I had to choose between Gillum and the current governor DeSantis I would choose Gillum in a heartbeat.

My problem is not with the Gillums it’s with woke Twitter. They made Andrew Gillum into a hero and sympathetic character because he came out and now he’s “living his truth” according to him. He was living his truth before as a disloyal husband, drug abuser and party animal. The man publicly dishonored and humiliated his wife. I don’t think he deserves any praise or sympathy.

Andrew was forced into making his announcement or perhaps excuse. The woke folks coddled him all day on Twitter with no mention of how his wife must have suffered throughout this ordeal. All they did was praise her for standing by her Black bisexual king. I was disgusted.

Had Andrew cheated on his wife with a female prostitute he would have been dragged on Twitter. But his sympathizers say that he acted out due to being a closeted bisexual man. I don’t think a man of his accomplishments and stature is someone that warrants our concern.

He had a wild weekend and got caught. Being caught with a male prostitute doesn’t make it better and it doesn’t make Andrew Gillum an LGBT civil rights leader. It makes him an unfaithful husband that enjoys drugs. There is no more or less to it.

His wife is a Stepford Wife and political tool. Their marriage is probably a professional arrangement that she enjoys. The Gillum’s appearance on “The Tamron Hall Show” seemed practiced. I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew what questions Tamron would ask even though Mrs. Gillum’s answered square danced around them.

But nonetheless she is a human shield who is protecting her husband from further public scrutiny and a divorce. The person who should have made the appearance with Andrew on daytime TV was the prostitute and the drug dealer. Jai Gillum has done nothing wrong and she doesn’t deserve to be dragged into her husband’s scandal and he doesn’t deserve having her stand up for him. It doesn’t matter to me if she entered into a political, showbiz marriage or not.

Those that are feminists and support the LGBT community hold the most patriarchal views. They focus on what benefits men and they think that honoring women and commitments like marriage are outdated and hurtful to women. Women need to prioritize their needs and desires and make a stand for respect and accept nothing less.

American Ideals are George Floyd’s Greatest Asset

American Ideals and the Constitution are George Floyd’s greatest asset. After George Floyd was killed on video and controversy and civil strife ensued stories began to circulate around social media about George Floyd’s past. But in the eyes of the law a person’s past doesn’t matter once they have served their time. The Constitution states that suspects are presumed innocent until they receive a trial by jury.

https://apnews.com/a55d2662f200ead0da4fed9e923b60a7

Presumed innocence and a trial by jury are rights granted to US Citizens. That’s what George Floyd has going for him. It’s not his strength of character which is questionable to put it mildly. That’s why I find it ironic that so many Black Americans try to disassociate themselves from their Black American identity. A lot of the men that have been victims in high profile police misconduct cases only have the rights granted to them by citizenship to fall back on. Because most of them have been less than model citizens.

If you disregard the Constitution and what America is supposed to stand for. If you disregard civility and the service that police are suppose to provide. If you disregard the Christianity that most Christians claim to observe. It can be said that George Floyd met up with karma.

He was found guilty of aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon. He and five other men broke into a pregnant woman’s home and held her at gunpoint. George Floyd served five years in prison for that crime. He also had brushes with the law involving drugs. And he had several children within relationships with different women.

However, if you believe in what this country is supposed to stand for then there is no valid argument to defend the police officers that killed George Floyd. Police officers are supposed to defend the Constitution. They are not henchmen or street executioners. Suspects are entitled to their day in court and a trial.

The rights given to American citizens by the Constitution are what the fight against police brutality is about. And Black Americans need to understand that Constitutional rights are what give all of us a defense. A case can be made against anyone’s character and righteousness is subjective.

Americans Are Not Mature Enough for a Conversation About Race

“We need to have a conversation about race” has become a common cliche in this country in regards to race relations. This phrase is commonly heard when listening to talking heads discuss current events surrounding race in America. America has shown me that a conversation about race is a complete waste of time and energy.

Anyone with an objective point of view understands that White supremacy and racism is a one way street. Black Americans have done all they can to live in this country peacefully yet we are constantly condescended, vilified and degraded. That’s the real reason that people want to have “conversations on race”. They use it as an opportunity to tell Black people what they really think under the guise of peacemaking. Black people continue to try and make peace and compromise in order to go along to get along and be accepted.

Black Americans need to talk to each other about how to improve their lives in America and other voices need to be ignored. Black people need to have a more positive inner dialogue. When non Black people defend their opinion in regards to race it is usually an unflattering opinion of Black people. As far as I’m concerned they are welcome to it. They are also welcome to stay out of my space.

Positive interactions with non Black people are possible but if you need to sit down with them and conversation about racist opinions they probably are not worth the trouble. I have not interest in talking someone out of their racism. As long as the are not affecting my life they are they are welcome to it.

I have no interest in helping anyone understand my point of view nor am I interested in coming to a understanding as far as race. What is hard to understand about me wanting to be valued as a human being and a woman. I don’t think I benefit from a conversation with that starting point.

If America wants to have a conversation on race it needs to apologize to descendants of African slaves and vow to do better. So far America continues to make excuses and be self righteous. The concerns and complaints of Black people are not heard. I choose not to participate in conversations where the other party refuses to listen because of perceived superiority.

Painful conversations require maturity and America does not have it. There is no real desire to do better because racism works out well for most Americans. The majority of Americans have shown Black people for centuries that they are not interested in justice or opening their minds to new ways of thinking that don’t center White comfort.

Even in this age of BLM most Americans continue to minimize the extent and affect of racism. There have been protests, riots and conversations on race yet racism prevails. Black people need to pay attention to the deliberate attempts to drown our voices in disingenuous conversations. America will never be without racism. The best Black Americans can do is to use the opportunities made possible by those that came before us and improve ourselves, our families and our communities. Do better on your own. Don’t wait for anyone else to do better.

Men Need to Stand for Integrity

Why are so many children in America’s cities dying? I’m specifically talking about children in the inner city that are killed by gunfire. Children are being shot at baby showers, in their living rooms while watching TV, at church cookouts, in the back seats of cars and in their sleep at home in bed. It’s because they are surrounded by men that lack integrity and don’t value Black children and families.

I’ve seen numerous online arguments where men’s common response to criticism is that women do it too. Not in this case. Inner city killings are almost always committed by men. So boys and men in America’s big cities are the focus of this post.

https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/crime/50-children-shot-st-louis-2020/63-b7e2b248-5322-4946-9706-904825daddb1

Over the last ten years it has become common for children including toddlers and infants to be killed by gunfire. What’s going on? Why is this happening? Concern for others would dictate that you don’t shoot into a house not knowing who is inside. A reasonable person would understand that that kind of carelessness will lead to harm. And it just seems like a waste of time, effort and ammo to fire a gun in order to settle a score and not be certain that the person you want to shoot is in the cross hairs. It’s as if there are men that simply want to incite terror.

in·teg·ri·ty/inˈteɡrədē/ Learn to pronounce nounnoun: integrity

  1. 1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness

https://www.kshb.com/news/local-news/legend-taliferros-mother-speaks-out-after-groups-protest-initiative-in-4-year-olds-name

A generation of boys has been raised to be primarily concerned for themselves and to only care about their own survival. They are taught that they are valuable by people that have low expectations for them. These boys are pandered to and treated as if they are pets. Meanwhile they aren’t taught proper boundaries.

It’s a recipe for disaster and we are seeing it play out on the evening news almost daily. There is also a lack of respect for Black womanhood. Any culture or organization that does not respect women and value healthy relationships with women is going to have problems and abuse.

I believe that there are predatory gangs that dominate the streets of America. They take advantage of young men and make them subservient. They demand loyalty as if they are a cult. Predatory gangs strip children from broken homes of their humanity and moral compass in order to use them as tools for chaos. The chaos is a screen for their inadequacies.

Without boundaries, integrity, responsibility or care for others we have communities where babies are becoming collateral damage of street battles between men. Black American children are dying in strollers and car seats before they have the opportunity to start kindergarten. It’s tragic and things are progressively getting worse.

There are several factors to inner city gun violence but I believe in controlling what one can control. Citizens can not regulate gun availability and factors such as unemployment, underemployment and racism. But we need men to lead boys to become productive men and set boundaries of decency. Men need to teach their sons, young cousins and nephews integrity. They also need to recognize it if they don’t have it themselves and develop a stronger character.

Conflicts, armed or otherwise need to stay between men and the conflicts should be dealt with in an honorable fashion. By honorable I mean deal with disagreements and offenses face to face. Men need to try talking or even fist fighting. I’m not unrealistic and I understand that violence occurs from time to time.

There is no reason to involve innocent people particularly children in their rivalries. The behavior that we are seeing on the evening news is that of cold blooded sociopaths. Men in the community need to take a stand against it or it will continue and all efforts to improve the Black community will be futile.

Men that live in the big cities of America need to stand for integrity and set proper boundaries within their own neighborhoods. Cowardly behavior like drive by shootings and groups of men jumping one men need to end. Blaming women for everything needs to stop. If men want to be respected as leaders the buck needs to stop with them and they need to hold themselves accountable for the death and destruction in inner city neighborhoods across America.

That’s where true change will start. Men need to stop the senseless violence that robs children of their chance at life and makes communities unlivable. Men need to take a stand for their families and communities. No one else can do that for them.

https://www.serenitymemorialkc.com/obituary/LeGend-Taliferro

Why I Don’t Completely Support BLM

What’s wrong is wrong. George Floyd’s murder was wrong. Breonna Taylor’s murder is wrong. There are countless other acts of law enforcement that I think are wrong. It’s obvious to me that there is a bias against Black people by law enforcement and the criminal justice system. I do not believe that a government entity should hold the power that police officers and police unions hold. But I still don’t completely support Black Lives Matter.

Black Lives Matter is a Transgender Rights Organization

https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/

BLM is an organization that promotes gender neutrality. Part of their mission statement is to tear down what they call cis gender privilege and promote Black trans women. I’m not a feminist and I believe that gender roles create healthy boundaries that protect women and girls. I believe that women benefit from a patriarchal society that respects women and femininity.

I don’t agree with gender non conforming politics. Gender non conforming beliefs diminish respect for women. I think that blurring the line between male and female is a way to further break down an individual’s identity so they can be controlled, used and taken advantage of in some way.

Black American women have never been offered the type of chivalry that other women have. We’ve often been labeled as masculine and have been treated as such. I think the results of this are more single parent Black households, more Black women being killed and beaten by their partners, Black women dying in childbirth and higher infant mortality. Excepting the belief that people with men’s bodies are women would be a further detriment to Black womanhood.

I support a man expressing himself in a feminine way or presenting himself as a woman. I respect a mature individual’s choice to have gender reassignment surgery. But I believe that womanhood is more than how a person identifies. If society adopts the idea that gender is a matter of identity women will suffer for it socially, mentally and physically. That is especially true for Black women.

The Work of Black Advancement Needs to be Centered in the Black Community

A common phrase in the media is that Americans need to have conversations about race. No we don’t. The US has made itself clear that it does not value equality and fairness for Black Americans. America has made it very clear that White supremacy is a priority. Black people should not waste their energy appealing to the majority in this nation for fairness. Black Americans need to use their resources and opportunities to create stability for themselves, build healthy Black families and thriving Black communities.

If Black Americans had more working class, middle class and affluent Black communities they would have a local government and police force that answers to them. Black Americans need to build communities where they can sit on a park bench without harassment or go jogging without suspicion. Most Black Americans strive to leave Black communities and join White ones once they reach a level of affluence.

Many Black communities are poor and rife with problems. Those outside of the community come into Black neighborhoods in order to exploit whatever resources are there. There isn’t a strong infrastructure in Black communities and the infrastructure that is there was not created by Black people. It’s usually created by the government and small business owners that do not respect or like Black people.

The next phase of Black civil rights needs to be Black independence and pride. We need to become more financially independent and improve our health, spiritual wellness and interpersonal relationships. More attention needs to be paid to building Black families and communities and creating a Black infrastructure so we are not dependent on those that simply seek to exploit Black people.

I don’t think our current complaints within the US will be solved by marches or demonstrations. The solution to the problem is to have areas where the Black community and tax base runs the police force, public schools and owns most if not all of the local businesses. Black Americans have the resources to do this but the will and vision is what’s missing.

BLM Does Not Support Traditional Families

America has sought to destroy Black families throughout most of it’s history. The Black family has been undermined in the media. However, most Black children grew up in a home with their mom and dad until the drug wars of the 1980s. Drug trafficking brought about mass incarceration of Black men and street violence which made Black communities unlivable, not a good places to invest and killed many more Black men.

Many Black men were not available to become husbands and fathers. Part of the culture shifted from a family and faith based culture to a street culture that didn’t value traditional families and legacies through children. Without traditional Black families there is no future for Black people in America.

The next revolution needs to be a quiet one that focuses on nurturing Black children and giving them the necessary tools to become successful adults in American society. I’m forty five years old and I’ve never married or had children. The traditional Black family isn’t my cause at this point in my life. But I won’t support any organization or philosophy that subverts Black families.

A Lot of the BLM Protests Look Silly

Some of the protesters look silly. I’ve seen women in the streets wearing tube tops and booty shorts. That doesn’t seem practical if you are going into an environment where a disturbance may break out. There is a viral video of a protester twerking in the street in front of a line of police cars. In a different viral video a woman performed stripper moves in front of a different police force in protest.

People are in the streets playing drums and dancing with bare feet. Keep in mind protests have turned violent. I saw a video of protesters doing yoga in the street. A young man yelled tearfully to the police for fairness at one demonstration. I’ve seen more than one young protester hug police officers. Young children are marching.

In other words a lot of the protesters are not acting like they want to be taken seriously. They are not acting like they have a list of concerns that they want heard or a list of demands to be met. The demonstrators are very emotional and don’t appear to be very organized.

I agree that Black live matter. Government agents should not be given the power to execute and torture citizens on the street. But police forces do not seem to be interested in changing their policies in the interest of civil rights and earning the trust of the Black community. I am not going to beg and plead for anyone else to see that my life as a Black woman matters. I will never degrade myself by asking for my life to be validated by mainstream American society which is what I think that BLM is doing.

Begging for acceptance in a country that your family has been in for centuries is undignified. Black empowerment and independence is going to come from Black individuals, families and communities. The real revolution needs to be a quiet one.

Black Americans are no longer enslaved or limited by segregation. The next step in our evolution as Americans needs to be using our resources which includes human resources to build prosperity for ourselves, those near us and the future. That’s the only kind of transformation I’m interested in at this point in history. The changes that I want to see won’t trend on Twitter or be on the evening news. There is no need for me to take to the streets for true and long lasting change.