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I don’t like the term “victim mentality”. I think it’s gaslighting and a way for bullies and predators to not take accountability for their actions. Life is unfair and a lot of people are taken advantage of in many ways for various reasons. If a man, woman or child has been treated unfairly or been abused they have a right to be upset and advocate for themselves. To say otherwise is manipulative gaslighting.

There is a difference in what people call “victim mentality” and what I call manipulative loser nonsense. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have been mistreated and/or abused. It’s brave, healthy , healing and leads to proper accountability. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that the actions or lack of action of other caused a set back or deficit in one’s life. That acknowledgement will help the victim heal, grow, plan for the future and hopefully make it easier to identify individuals with that don’t have good intentions toward them. Identifying a problem and it’s consequences is a part of learning and growth.

Manipulative loser nonsense is when a man, woman or child places blame on others for personal shortcomings even though no one did anything to them. The complainer may have been the problem or the person that upset them may have tried to help them but the individual couldn’t appreciate it because they or manipulative loser nonsense.

Modern culture is rife with manipulative loser nonsense. Legitimate victims can get bogged down with manipulative loser nonsense. Manipulative loser nonsense is also a tool used by people that like to mistreat others. The loser nonsense gives them attention and to some absolves them of responsibility.

I think there can be overlap between victimhood and manipulative loser nonsense. Recognize and acknowledge abuse and mistreatment. Recognize the person that mistreated you. Forgive and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that a man, woman or child should maintain a relationship with the person that didn’t treat you well. It doesn’t necessarily mean a man, woman or child should should end the relationship either. It’s up to the victim to decide on how to proceed.

It’s up to each individual on how to navigate a hurtful situation in a relationship in order to move forward. If the relationship is significant and worthwhile and the person that was hurtful acknowledges how their actions caused pain and damage it could be a triumph for society, love, friendship, family, romance, etc. Forgiveness and acknowledgement can be an opportunity for growth for both parties if the hurtful behavior is acknowledged and stopped.

I believe the term “victim mentality” is a way to further victimize those that are disadvantaged, commonly abused or bullied. Those that are mistreated should speak up for themselves. “Get over it” can be a way for tormenters to maintain power, avoid responsibility and continue to mistreat people and target future victims. Telling a victim to “get over it” makes the perpetrator the victim. That’s why it’s manipulative loser nonsense.

A victim should not seek reconciliation with one that feels justified in their actions and has no remorse. They likely just don’t care and fail to see your humanity. Don’t base healing, forgiveness and moving forward on someone else’s actions. The person that made the hurtful actions likely didn’t value or respect the person they hurt in the first place. Forgive and move on!

Forgiveness is not a way to validate the character of terrible people. It’s up to them to decide if they want to change. It’s not the victim’s responsibility to fix an abuser or mean spirited person. Forgiveness is a way to cope with heartache and disappointment.

A victim doesn’t have to stay one forever. Take a reasonable period of time to mourn and be angry. It’s important to be able to assess the situation and identify mistreatment and unfairness. It’s also important to assess if and how the victim may have made a mistake that contributed to the harmful situation. Forgive, grow and keep on living.

I hate the term “victim mentality” I think the term is usually used by losers that like mistreat others and don’t want to take responsibility of change their behavior. Victims need to be heard and people that hurt others need to be held accountable. The term “victim mentality” is a tool to silence those that have been hurt and empower predators and bullies.