Who is Responsible for Sexual Purity?

Who is responsible for sexual purity?  According to the cultural mores of today, which in some circles is similar to the cultural mores of Massachusetts in the 1600s, it seems as though it is solely the woman’s responsibility to uphold sexual purity.  Women are told you are worth the wait.  Women are told to save themselves for their true love and the man they will marry.  Women are told to respect themselves and remain chaste.

Well meaning folks encourage women to remain pure by telling them they are princesses and queens who should wait for their kings.  All of this preaching to women is assuming that women only have sex in order to satisfy men.  This is often the case but sometimes women have sex because they want to do it and they are seeking pleasure.

Is it possible for a woman to have self respect, dignity, value herself, want true love be a princess and satisfy her sex drive?  Women and have desires and fantasies too.  Sometimes women are tempted to sin because they find a man charming and attractive.  Women do not always have pre marital sex because of pressure from a boyfriend (that’s called rape).  Sometimes the woman wants a lover.

If we are going to preach about sexual purity we need to be honest.  Women are not always pure and innocent.  Men are not always the aggressors.  Women are not always victims that were taken advantage of in every sex act between unmarried people (that’s called rape).  Women need to learn discipline, obedience, sacrifice and self control just like men do.  I think we need to lay off all the princess wait on your man bull****.  You should practice abstinence until marriage to please your heavenly father not flawed men here on Earth that you are hoping to marry.

It also bothers me that women are taught to protect their so called purity and wait on their future spouses but men are not.  I don’t understand why the rules are different.  If a woman’s body is precious so is a man’s.  If a woman needs to protect her heart so should a man.  The Bible tells everyone that the proper context for sexual activity is marriage.  Fornication is not a gender specific sin.

If Christians want to teach abstinence they should teach men and women to trust God and be obedient to his word.  Christians need to encourage others to discipline themselves and not to do things that feed the flesh.  I don’t think it’s a good idea to teach people to wait.  Because honestly, Mr. or Ms. Right may not show up when you want.  Waiting causes a lot of frustration.

Men and women need to be taught to respect each other’s boundaries and not tempt other’s into sin.  Get to know a potential mate’s heart, intellect and soul before you bring sex into the picture.  You will have a stronger marriage later.  At least that’s what I’m hoping.  It’s not solely a woman’s responsibility to uphold sexual purity and protect marriage.  Men need to help.

1 Corinthians 6:18

Flee fornication.  Every sin that a man doeth is without the body;  but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. KJV