Masculinity is hard to find in 2015. I think that it is a little distorted and attached to some negative connotations. When I think of ideal masculinity I think of leadership, kindness, protection and one that provides. Regardless of what we are made to believe I think that that is what women want from the men in their lives. If women settle for less they will have struggles in their relationships.
In mainstream culture masculinity is seen as negative. Men that are physically masculine are usually portrayed as less than intelligent or villains of some sort. On TV husbands and fathers are often made the butt of jokes. I’m guessing this is what Hollywood writers think a man has to be in order to not be seen as threatening.
I’m an unmarried woman and I feel that men often make themselves a little passive. They refuse to show any type of leadership. This is kind of a luxury for men because this way they don’t need to take any responsibility. This gives them room to avoid paying for anything and they can take advantage of women sexually without any shame. Many men enjoy their new modern passive role. The kids call these men f#ckboys.
So many men have abdicated their responsibilities as men in favor of an extended adolescence that can extend into their forties. They have relationships with women with no intention of commitment. Sometimes they even have children with these women without ever providing a stable family life for them. Instead they remain commitment free and continue to party at the clubs and play video games like teenagers.
Men and women are hard wired a certain way to look for certain things from the opposite sex. Nothing has changed for centuries. Women want leadership and love and men want respect. It doesn’t get much more complicated than that.
When women are allowed to take the lead in a relationship I believe that there will ultimate be problems in that relationship. Women want to be able to look up to their man and have confidence that he will be there to support. If the woman is consistently placed in the leadership role she will eventually question the purpose of having that man in her life.
Men want to be respected in a relationship. But if a woman is the chief decision maker and financial support it will be hard for her to give a man the type of respect that he wants. He will probably seek satisfaction from a different relationship or some type of fantasy such as pornography.
I’m not sure how everything got confused. I won’t blame feminism because I support women being independent and I think it’s great that women are empowered to make decisions about their own bodies. But I don’t think that masculinity needs to be subservient for a woman to feel empowered. I think that many single women yearn for the security that masculinity brings.
The world needs to stop allowing men to take the easy way out. Men are allowed to behave like adolescents until they are well into adulthood. Women need to stop allowing men to take the passive role in while dating when we know that that would never satisfy us in a long term relationship. Women make the rules in courtships. Expect better and we will get better. No matter how old you are say no to f#ckboys. Masculinity is a positive and respectable characteristic that unfortunately doesn’t get enough respect. You know you want it girls.
Shannon in Kansas City YT: Shannon's Bible Study IG: @showmeshannon Twitter: kcshannonlee1 
Hello. I came across your blog on WordPress under the search tag “dating” and I just wanted to share a thought on your entry. Personally, I think that feminism plays a major role in how there is a massive lack of masculinity in western society these days despite your unwillingness to blame it. This is the new normal, unfortunately, and women will have to figure out a new way to relating to a man, rather than relying on more traditional gendered roles that feminism ripped apart in its wake and rise to mainstream culture.
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You may be right. I have some real problems with feminism. But I don’t think it is all bad either. It’s great that a woman can go to law school, be a construction worker or run for president if she chooses. It’s great that a woman doesn’t have to submit to sexual abuse from men or violence within a domestic relationship. Feminism accomplished a lot. I just think that feminists took things too far and encouraged women to act like men. Things have gotten far out of line and no one has truly benefited from it. I think there is a way for everyone to be respected while fulfilling traditional gender roles.
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